It is 31 Dec 2008, roughly 7hrs more to the welcoming of 2009. It is every year, on this same day that I would sum up my highest point and lowest point of the year and wish for some stuff for the next upcoming year. Thus, this year's post would be the same for me, ranting on my most 'proud' of event and the most horrible event that makes me 'disgusted' or pissed during the past 2008, then would be my wishes for the upcoming 2009:
Event that makes me the happiest and most glad for 2008: Achieving my Gynae-Oncology nursing certification that makes me a Gynae-Onco trained nurse.
Event that makes me upset and disgusted in 2008: I have summarised it into one category- in law issue, which includes having an argument with my Mum In Law as well as a new addition to my in law's family which makes her my sister in law.
Now for what I wish for 2009:
a) to having a fulfilling marriage filled with more romantic moments with my husband.
b) to be able to make it on the red carpet for my customary wedding ceremony on 10 May, among all my close friends and our family members.
c) to be able to have a good working relationship with all my colleagues.
d) to be selected for Advanced Diploma In Oncology Nursing course which starts in October.
Let's see on 31 Dec 2009, how many of the above wishes have I been able to achieve or fulfill...
As I was reading my 31 Dec 2007 post on my old blog, I realized I ended 2007 without much hope for 2008 and in quite a depressing state of mind wishing that 2008 would be a better year. I must say indeed, it was slightly better but there were still the emotional roller coaster ride in the sense of my marriage life taking me to another level in improving myself for the betterment of one-self's patience as well as strengthening of my ownself emotionally and mentally.
Ok, all prepared for 2009 to come and to face whatever 2009 would hurl at me...
About Me
- Mint + Bitter Chocolate = Heaven
- Just the blunt and honest me. Just someone who needs to air her inner most feelings and thoughts. Just a female who suffers from a crazy life journey, with lots of ups and down in her life. Just another moronic human being who wishes for peace and serenity in life one day.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
New Lappie
Finally, my own lappie... There goes my bonus... But at last, my own lappie to carry around and to save my stuff...
Friday, December 26, 2008
My Christmas Gift 4 Myself
Rewarded myself with a Christmas gift, which came by post today...
Welcome my new addition to my Coach collection... LOLX
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
It is Christmas today and I have spend the day resting at my in-laws' place, going back to my own place tonight.
Don't worry, I have stood firm on my decision not to move back to my in laws' place as I am still somehow unhappy about on how I was treated by my mother in law. Although, now I can see that she is making efforts to win my heart back by cooking my favourite food, but, it ain't that easy for me to give in to her, especially not after how she has treated me before and what she had said to me in fit of anger that eventful night.
Call me petty but I am standing firm on my decision not to forgive her unless she apologizes or unless something seriously bad to her until it softens my heart to the extend of me empathizing her.
My husband also has expressed his displeasure of staying my place.
Thus, the future looks quite bleak of what will happen next...
Wish me luck that this matter would not affect my marriage next year or our relationship.
Merry Christmas once again...
Don't worry, I have stood firm on my decision not to move back to my in laws' place as I am still somehow unhappy about on how I was treated by my mother in law. Although, now I can see that she is making efforts to win my heart back by cooking my favourite food, but, it ain't that easy for me to give in to her, especially not after how she has treated me before and what she had said to me in fit of anger that eventful night.
Call me petty but I am standing firm on my decision not to forgive her unless she apologizes or unless something seriously bad to her until it softens my heart to the extend of me empathizing her.
My husband also has expressed his displeasure of staying my place.
Thus, the future looks quite bleak of what will happen next...
Wish me luck that this matter would not affect my marriage next year or our relationship.
Merry Christmas once again...
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
安静了
只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
却成了单人结婚进行曲
在这场爱情角力的拔河里
爱我还是爱你
你选择了自己
撒娇的可爱的
迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你喜欢的
如今我还在原地
你却走回你的记忆
你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我
你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔是因为我太爱你
只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
安静了在我枕边的梦里
我知道相爱原本就不容易
爱不是一场雨
努力就有结局
撒娇的可爱的
迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你爱着你的
连假的泪还温热
却没有人握我的手
你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我
你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔是因为我太爱你
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
却成了单人结婚进行曲
在这场爱情角力的拔河里
爱我还是爱你
你选择了自己
撒娇的可爱的
迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你喜欢的
如今我还在原地
你却走回你的记忆
你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我
你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔是因为我太爱你
只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
安静了在我枕边的梦里
我知道相爱原本就不容易
爱不是一场雨
努力就有结局
撒娇的可爱的
迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你爱着你的
连假的泪还温热
却没有人握我的手
你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我
你说我给你太多却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后温柔是因为我太爱你
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sheena's Wedding
Attended my God-sister, who is also my cousin, Sheena's wedding today held at Clarke Quay's Peony Jade Restaurant. It was a Retro themed wedding.
Anyway, as expected, she was the first to get married as we had bet since young. She was always saying that she will never get married until she had enough fun and that would be when she hits her 30s. However, she is 26 this year and she has got herself a man to marry. Lucky woman! Hopefully 5mths down the road would be my turn...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Updates On My Miserable Life
WORK:
It has been quite busy and it seems like GCC and BRC wants us to open up all the slots as they have been complaining about having difficulty finding slots for booking of the chemotherapy on the specific dates they want. However, they don't see our issue of having limited resources and also we need to attend to unforeseen circumstances of patients having allergy reactions or having trouble getting the chemotherapy drugs on time. Haiz... So sad and frustrating!
Breast doctors are threatening to bring the patients to NCC, if we don't give them the chemotherapy appointments.
Patients are also bugging us to give them the appointments with 1001 excuses on how they want finish their treatment on time, how worried they are if they miss the treatments, etc...
MARRIAGE LIFE:
Husband has been asking to when I want to return back with him to his place as his mum is asking him weekly about my absence. It just pisses me off. I am annoyed that he doesn't seem to understand how I feel about being treated as well as the difficulties I will face when I return. I am also annoyed that his mum can pretend as if nothing has happened, she acts like she has forgotten what she had said to me, accused me of hitting her son when I didn't, told me never to step into the house ever again as well as how she literally chased me out the house, telling me not to contact her son. I am irritated on how she can even go ask her brother, my husband's god-father to call my husband to settle things.
Anyway, I told my husband clearly over and over again, I wouldn't stop him from going back but for me to go back and pretend that nothing ever happened is kind of impossible. I even told me that the mere sight of his mum or her voice just simply annoys me. Yes, I am that turned off by her! She has really gotten onto my nerve this time.
FAMILY LIFE:
My cousin is getting hitched this Saturday. Kind of envious of her... Few friends around are also getting married. So envious of them! Most brides are happily preparing to walk down aisle while I am faced with so many obstacles and difficulties getting married. New things always seems to crop up to threaten to destroy my beautiful dreams of having a wonderful marriage. So sickening! Don't know what I had done to deserve such crap? Why can't I be like the rest of the brides, happily preparing for their wedding day? Why can't I be like the rest of the brides, having a smooth road down the aisle?
It seems like God has neglected me and has forsaken me for the past 2 plus years, not blessing me with a happy life and marriage... Why???
It has been quite busy and it seems like GCC and BRC wants us to open up all the slots as they have been complaining about having difficulty finding slots for booking of the chemotherapy on the specific dates they want. However, they don't see our issue of having limited resources and also we need to attend to unforeseen circumstances of patients having allergy reactions or having trouble getting the chemotherapy drugs on time. Haiz... So sad and frustrating!
Breast doctors are threatening to bring the patients to NCC, if we don't give them the chemotherapy appointments.
Patients are also bugging us to give them the appointments with 1001 excuses on how they want finish their treatment on time, how worried they are if they miss the treatments, etc...
MARRIAGE LIFE:
Husband has been asking to when I want to return back with him to his place as his mum is asking him weekly about my absence. It just pisses me off. I am annoyed that he doesn't seem to understand how I feel about being treated as well as the difficulties I will face when I return. I am also annoyed that his mum can pretend as if nothing has happened, she acts like she has forgotten what she had said to me, accused me of hitting her son when I didn't, told me never to step into the house ever again as well as how she literally chased me out the house, telling me not to contact her son. I am irritated on how she can even go ask her brother, my husband's god-father to call my husband to settle things.
Anyway, I told my husband clearly over and over again, I wouldn't stop him from going back but for me to go back and pretend that nothing ever happened is kind of impossible. I even told me that the mere sight of his mum or her voice just simply annoys me. Yes, I am that turned off by her! She has really gotten onto my nerve this time.
FAMILY LIFE:
My cousin is getting hitched this Saturday. Kind of envious of her... Few friends around are also getting married. So envious of them! Most brides are happily preparing to walk down aisle while I am faced with so many obstacles and difficulties getting married. New things always seems to crop up to threaten to destroy my beautiful dreams of having a wonderful marriage. So sickening! Don't know what I had done to deserve such crap? Why can't I be like the rest of the brides, happily preparing for their wedding day? Why can't I be like the rest of the brides, having a smooth road down the aisle?
It seems like God has neglected me and has forsaken me for the past 2 plus years, not blessing me with a happy life and marriage... Why???
Sunday, December 14, 2008
EQ Test I Taken...
Your score indicates that you have a below average EQ.
People that typically score in this range sometimes have trouble recognising and understanding their feelings. They are not always able to express their feelings in the most appropriate manner. They often have doubts and concerns about who they really are. They do not have much confidence in themselves and in their abilities. In most circumstances, they have a difficult time showing love, empathy and compassion for other people. In general, they are not comfortable with intimacy.
They also have trouble communicating with other people. They struggle with getting in tune with themselves and those around them. They may sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong moment. They sometimes find it hard to show their anger or deal with anger directed at them. At times they are unable to stand up for themselves when hurt or they are handle confrontation inappropriately. They may have trouble admitting when they are wrong; and when they do make mistakes, they are often uncomfortable apologising to those they hurt.
People with below average EQ may also have low levels of self-worth. They do not like challenges or commitment and are afraid of change. They have a difficult time staying motivated and focused when they have set unattainable goals for themselves. They are fairly pessimistic about themselves and their future.
However, one great thing about emotional intelligence is that it's fluid! A person can increase their EQ at any point of their life! People with below average EQ can start by learning how to identify their emotions and take responsibility for them. There are many resources to help. People with low EQ can read books about EQ and social skills, find out about anger management courses and communication skills courses, join a support group or see a counsellor. They can keep a diary of their emotions, and ask their friends to help them recognise the things about themselves that need correcting. If these things are done there is no doubt that they can increase their emotional intelligence and live a healthy, happy life.
PS: How true...
People that typically score in this range sometimes have trouble recognising and understanding their feelings. They are not always able to express their feelings in the most appropriate manner. They often have doubts and concerns about who they really are. They do not have much confidence in themselves and in their abilities. In most circumstances, they have a difficult time showing love, empathy and compassion for other people. In general, they are not comfortable with intimacy.
They also have trouble communicating with other people. They struggle with getting in tune with themselves and those around them. They may sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong moment. They sometimes find it hard to show their anger or deal with anger directed at them. At times they are unable to stand up for themselves when hurt or they are handle confrontation inappropriately. They may have trouble admitting when they are wrong; and when they do make mistakes, they are often uncomfortable apologising to those they hurt.
People with below average EQ may also have low levels of self-worth. They do not like challenges or commitment and are afraid of change. They have a difficult time staying motivated and focused when they have set unattainable goals for themselves. They are fairly pessimistic about themselves and their future.
However, one great thing about emotional intelligence is that it's fluid! A person can increase their EQ at any point of their life! People with below average EQ can start by learning how to identify their emotions and take responsibility for them. There are many resources to help. People with low EQ can read books about EQ and social skills, find out about anger management courses and communication skills courses, join a support group or see a counsellor. They can keep a diary of their emotions, and ask their friends to help them recognise the things about themselves that need correcting. If these things are done there is no doubt that they can increase their emotional intelligence and live a healthy, happy life.
PS: How true...
Friday, December 12, 2008
Decision To Make
Hubby has finally vocalized that he wants to move back home and has given me maximum of 2 weeks to decide if I am moving back to him. I already firmly told me that I would not be moving back to his house unless his mum apologizes or at least shows a bit of remorse for treating me unfairly or something drastic happens that softens my heart to awake my compassionate side. I really do not wish to move back to that environment. It is unhealthy for me and not as conducive as it was when I first moved in.
My husband's reaction to my answer was to give me 2 weeks to consider and give him an answer in 2 weeks time. Looks like he doesn't understand the reason behind my strong decision.
-I don't wish to living in a home which is like a war-zone for me, constantly having to be on a look-out for someone to back-stab me or hurt me in one way or another.
-I don't wish to live my days in fear of someone sabotaging my things or fear of someone making my life a living hell.
-I don't wish to live my days watching my in laws treat me unfairly and being biased towards that PRC.
-I don't want to have myself daily thinking of how to plot back against that PRC woman in fit of anger, only to accumulate bad karma and retribution for myself to suffer in the future.
- I don't wish myself to do something evil or bad in fit of anger, only to regret my actions when I have calmed down.
- I don't want myself to do something that violates my own morals and principles just to get revenge for the things I suffered.
- I don't wish to live my life under the constant of scrutiny for someone to 'attack' me at my weak points.
- I don't wish to feel like an outcast of the household, everyone thinking that I am the devil while she is the angel.
- I am not actress and don't wish to act as if I am ok when I am not.
- My patience is running dry and I don't want to be mentally tortured or stressed with how to cope being 'unaccepted' by my in laws.
- Most importantly, as long as my mum-in law and I don't clear this 'air' or 'knot' in our hearts, we will constantly jumping to conclusion of bad intentions on each other if another mistake is made or if something bad happens.
In 2 weeks, if my husband asks me for my answer, I hope I would be able to fearlessly rationalize my reasons for not returning with him.
I sincerely pray for his understanding and for my wedding or marriage to be not affected by this decision of mine. However, I have a gut feeling, it would be affected.
Firstly, we are so 'used' to seeing each other daily and staying together, thus, once we live separately, our life would be different and that gives us more chance to let this marriage slip past us.
Secondly, we have not really healed from the cracks that almost break us apart months ago. We are still re-building the marriage and if we are staying apart, the process of re-building would slow down and even stop.
Thirdly, my heart is already too tired to withstand anymore hurts or damages. I also know just one more fall or obstacle that prevents us from getting married and I would give up trying to salvage this relationship.
Frankly speaking, I am already on verge of giving up trying to find my true happiness. Other brides can walk down the aisle happily, effortlessly to the man of their lives while this road to marriage is so hard and difficult. Obstacles keeps standing in my way to find my road to eternal bliss and happiness with the man I love. I feel like I am already breathless fighting these obstacles non-stop. They keep appearing one after another, not even giving me time to recover from the previous obstacles. I am really so sick and tired that I want to surrender but my passion for him and my love for him has kept me persevering on. Just one more fall or obstacle and I would ready to throw in the towel.
Wonder how many people out there can understand how I feel...
2 weeks is all I can with his presence near me, I am gonna just bask in this 2 weeks of blissfulness... Haiz...
My husband's reaction to my answer was to give me 2 weeks to consider and give him an answer in 2 weeks time. Looks like he doesn't understand the reason behind my strong decision.
-I don't wish to living in a home which is like a war-zone for me, constantly having to be on a look-out for someone to back-stab me or hurt me in one way or another.
-I don't wish to live my days in fear of someone sabotaging my things or fear of someone making my life a living hell.
-I don't wish to live my days watching my in laws treat me unfairly and being biased towards that PRC.
-I don't want to have myself daily thinking of how to plot back against that PRC woman in fit of anger, only to accumulate bad karma and retribution for myself to suffer in the future.
- I don't wish myself to do something evil or bad in fit of anger, only to regret my actions when I have calmed down.
- I don't want myself to do something that violates my own morals and principles just to get revenge for the things I suffered.
- I don't wish to live my life under the constant of scrutiny for someone to 'attack' me at my weak points.
- I don't wish to feel like an outcast of the household, everyone thinking that I am the devil while she is the angel.
- I am not actress and don't wish to act as if I am ok when I am not.
- My patience is running dry and I don't want to be mentally tortured or stressed with how to cope being 'unaccepted' by my in laws.
- Most importantly, as long as my mum-in law and I don't clear this 'air' or 'knot' in our hearts, we will constantly jumping to conclusion of bad intentions on each other if another mistake is made or if something bad happens.
In 2 weeks, if my husband asks me for my answer, I hope I would be able to fearlessly rationalize my reasons for not returning with him.
I sincerely pray for his understanding and for my wedding or marriage to be not affected by this decision of mine. However, I have a gut feeling, it would be affected.
Firstly, we are so 'used' to seeing each other daily and staying together, thus, once we live separately, our life would be different and that gives us more chance to let this marriage slip past us.
Secondly, we have not really healed from the cracks that almost break us apart months ago. We are still re-building the marriage and if we are staying apart, the process of re-building would slow down and even stop.
Thirdly, my heart is already too tired to withstand anymore hurts or damages. I also know just one more fall or obstacle that prevents us from getting married and I would give up trying to salvage this relationship.
Frankly speaking, I am already on verge of giving up trying to find my true happiness. Other brides can walk down the aisle happily, effortlessly to the man of their lives while this road to marriage is so hard and difficult. Obstacles keeps standing in my way to find my road to eternal bliss and happiness with the man I love. I feel like I am already breathless fighting these obstacles non-stop. They keep appearing one after another, not even giving me time to recover from the previous obstacles. I am really so sick and tired that I want to surrender but my passion for him and my love for him has kept me persevering on. Just one more fall or obstacle and I would ready to throw in the towel.
Wonder how many people out there can understand how I feel...
2 weeks is all I can with his presence near me, I am gonna just bask in this 2 weeks of blissfulness... Haiz...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
5 Months More
Today, marks 5 months more of endurance that I have to go through just to walk down the aisle being his wife officially without no one criticizing or saying that I am not recognized or as some people say just a 'paper wife'.
My MIL and I have not sort out our unhappiness and I am still fuming mad at her. I thought I could forgive her easily but now it seems even the mere voice or look of her just simply piss me off.
I had went back to stay on Sunday as my husband said she did ask for me. Guess she must have been 'bullied' by her elder daughter in law and wanted me to come back. However, when I met her and entered the house, she did not even say anything to me or even smile at me. Of course, I also care-less to even acknowledge her and the mere sight of her just make my blood boils still.
Anyway, there has been a slight change in the house. My brother in law's door which was once pasted with the 'double happiness' chinese character has been taken down. Hmm, I would think something must have happened as based on the PRC's character, she wouldn't allow it taken down at all cost. It is her only 'recognition' of being married and a show of her status. Anyway, none of my concern.
Ok back to main reason of blogging... My new workplace...
For the past two days at the new workplace has been quite messy with much teething problems, supply shortage, logistic issues, unpacking of some stuff and as it is new, the area attracts many attention of visitors, big shots of the hospital, VIPs and curious people. I feel like I am an exhibit at a museum or rather a caged animal in the zoo. LOLx. GCC seems to be giving us more problems than BRC, although we predicted otherwise. LOLx. (My GCC colleagues is gonna strangle me when they see or reads this post...)
Tomorrow, would be Josephine's wedding at last. This friend of mine has gone through a long way to get her chance at walking down the aisle also. Wishing her all the best in her married life and may she stay as blissful as she already is forever.
My MIL and I have not sort out our unhappiness and I am still fuming mad at her. I thought I could forgive her easily but now it seems even the mere voice or look of her just simply piss me off.
I had went back to stay on Sunday as my husband said she did ask for me. Guess she must have been 'bullied' by her elder daughter in law and wanted me to come back. However, when I met her and entered the house, she did not even say anything to me or even smile at me. Of course, I also care-less to even acknowledge her and the mere sight of her just make my blood boils still.
Anyway, there has been a slight change in the house. My brother in law's door which was once pasted with the 'double happiness' chinese character has been taken down. Hmm, I would think something must have happened as based on the PRC's character, she wouldn't allow it taken down at all cost. It is her only 'recognition' of being married and a show of her status. Anyway, none of my concern.
Ok back to main reason of blogging... My new workplace...
For the past two days at the new workplace has been quite messy with much teething problems, supply shortage, logistic issues, unpacking of some stuff and as it is new, the area attracts many attention of visitors, big shots of the hospital, VIPs and curious people. I feel like I am an exhibit at a museum or rather a caged animal in the zoo. LOLx. GCC seems to be giving us more problems than BRC, although we predicted otherwise. LOLx. (My GCC colleagues is gonna strangle me when they see or reads this post...)
Tomorrow, would be Josephine's wedding at last. This friend of mine has gone through a long way to get her chance at walking down the aisle also. Wishing her all the best in her married life and may she stay as blissful as she already is forever.
Monday, December 8, 2008
4 CW
The rain, just never seems to bring
The joy, I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left the mark
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go
The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go
The joy, I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left the mark
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go
The way, you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,
I'd never let you go
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Memories...
For the past weeks, my 'sister' from Melbourne has been sobbing over the phone with me on her recent failed first relationship with her first love. Somehow, at every crack in her voice which symbolizes her tears that I can hear her shedding I can empathise with her and how low she must be feeling as she relates how the relationship was ending to ended.
It just brings me back to the days when I was only 14 and experiencing my first attempt at loving this guy, whom I thought I would last as well as become his bride as well as wife on day. The relationship only lasted 1.5 months and the amount pain it had brought me was terrible. The feeling of lost, denial, longing for a chance again, waiting aimlessly, thought of how he had broken his promise of being together forever, how the crooning of 'I Swear' was just a bluff, the playing of saxaphone by Pasir Ris beach was just an empty picture of lies and how the innocent kiss on the cheeks as well as holding of hands walking home was empty promises of love between us.
After the break up with him, I was listening to 'Finally Found Someone', wondering if he would ever come back to me someday if I had waited for him patiently.
In the end, I had waited for nearly 6 years, only to find out that he had fallen in love with another friend of mine who wasn't meant to be his in the end...
However, from 14 yrs old to now, after many failed relationships I have been through for all these years, I think I have finally settle my heart to one man, my husband. It also took me one crucial event for me to realize that I actually had love him so much. It was this one event, which was a mistake that had led to my downfall, this one event also would be a permernant painful history in my marriage that may also be the cause of my divorce (touchwood!), that is if we do divorce one day (hopefully not!).
It is this funny thing about love that we won't know how much we love that special someone until we lose him/her. If you are lucky, you are permitted a second chance to correct the flaw in the relationship, only to be faced with a scar of remembrance of the wrong step you had taken to almost ruin the happiness of the relationship. After the relationship has been salvaged from that one mistake, there is a constant reminder on how you were the cause of an almost failed relationship.
Hence, should a relationship really be salvaged from the brink of it being ruined? How much efforts does it take to really erase that flaw? Or perhaps, it is impossible to amend that flaw? In that case, how worthy is the relationship to be salvaged if the flaws always serves as a constant reminder?
I am stepping into my customary wedding next year, knowing that I love my husband and won't be making the same mistake I did years back. However, if the flaw ever threatens to break up this beautiful marriage, I would not hesitate to walk away. Afterall, I know I already tried my best to make up for it and my energy as well as patience to erase it has all worn off.
Should that day ever day happens, although, I know my heart would be broken if the divorce ever happens but my heart still loves my husband as sign the papers and as I walk away from the marriage.
It just brings me back to the days when I was only 14 and experiencing my first attempt at loving this guy, whom I thought I would last as well as become his bride as well as wife on day. The relationship only lasted 1.5 months and the amount pain it had brought me was terrible. The feeling of lost, denial, longing for a chance again, waiting aimlessly, thought of how he had broken his promise of being together forever, how the crooning of 'I Swear' was just a bluff, the playing of saxaphone by Pasir Ris beach was just an empty picture of lies and how the innocent kiss on the cheeks as well as holding of hands walking home was empty promises of love between us.
After the break up with him, I was listening to 'Finally Found Someone', wondering if he would ever come back to me someday if I had waited for him patiently.
In the end, I had waited for nearly 6 years, only to find out that he had fallen in love with another friend of mine who wasn't meant to be his in the end...
However, from 14 yrs old to now, after many failed relationships I have been through for all these years, I think I have finally settle my heart to one man, my husband. It also took me one crucial event for me to realize that I actually had love him so much. It was this one event, which was a mistake that had led to my downfall, this one event also would be a permernant painful history in my marriage that may also be the cause of my divorce (touchwood!), that is if we do divorce one day (hopefully not!).
It is this funny thing about love that we won't know how much we love that special someone until we lose him/her. If you are lucky, you are permitted a second chance to correct the flaw in the relationship, only to be faced with a scar of remembrance of the wrong step you had taken to almost ruin the happiness of the relationship. After the relationship has been salvaged from that one mistake, there is a constant reminder on how you were the cause of an almost failed relationship.
Hence, should a relationship really be salvaged from the brink of it being ruined? How much efforts does it take to really erase that flaw? Or perhaps, it is impossible to amend that flaw? In that case, how worthy is the relationship to be salvaged if the flaws always serves as a constant reminder?
I am stepping into my customary wedding next year, knowing that I love my husband and won't be making the same mistake I did years back. However, if the flaw ever threatens to break up this beautiful marriage, I would not hesitate to walk away. Afterall, I know I already tried my best to make up for it and my energy as well as patience to erase it has all worn off.
Should that day ever day happens, although, I know my heart would be broken if the divorce ever happens but my heart still loves my husband as sign the papers and as I walk away from the marriage.
Friday, December 5, 2008
New Life In WDTC
Just did my shifting from GCC to WDTC this evening. Met few of my new colleagues and my new supervisor. After all the orientation of the ward surrounding and the personalities of the different colleagues, I realized I would be faced with many challenges in the future.
Here is the challenges I would need to face:
- my ward clerk has an attitude. You would need to greet her every morning and have to adapt to her working styles. If you don't 'respect' her needs and ego, you would suffer as your work will not be done by her. She works from 8-12pm and 1-5pm sharp and would leave for work or lunch puncturely.
- my new area would be under constant scrunity as it is a new department. The CEO and HODs would be making many rounds or bring V.I.Ps to introduce this new department. Thus, we can't be seen sitting around, doing nothing. Even if we are free, we MUST find things to do to look busy.
- this ward is known to be a V.I.P ward, where patients are aloof and high + mighty. Thus, everything must be done to tip-top condition and up to standard. I am not sure of where my standard lies
- the discipline of this ward is very strict. If one mistake is made, it is a straight warning letter or written warning. If the mistake is slightly more serious, it would be kicked out of the ward to another place within one month. Scary!
Wish me luck... Who knows I would be tendering resignation soon...
Here is the challenges I would need to face:
- my ward clerk has an attitude. You would need to greet her every morning and have to adapt to her working styles. If you don't 'respect' her needs and ego, you would suffer as your work will not be done by her. She works from 8-12pm and 1-5pm sharp and would leave for work or lunch puncturely.
- my new area would be under constant scrunity as it is a new department. The CEO and HODs would be making many rounds or bring V.I.Ps to introduce this new department. Thus, we can't be seen sitting around, doing nothing. Even if we are free, we MUST find things to do to look busy.
- this ward is known to be a V.I.P ward, where patients are aloof and high + mighty. Thus, everything must be done to tip-top condition and up to standard. I am not sure of where my standard lies
- the discipline of this ward is very strict. If one mistake is made, it is a straight warning letter or written warning. If the mistake is slightly more serious, it would be kicked out of the ward to another place within one month. Scary!
Wish me luck... Who knows I would be tendering resignation soon...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Weekend Back At Sengkang
Been 2 weeks since I had a tiff with my mum in law and yet, I am still mad at her. Guess this time, she has really gotten on my nerve.
Anyway, went back with my husband to stay on Saturday night at his place as we wanted to watch WWE on his cable TV. However, I did warn him if his mum is hostile or heard complaining about me to anyone, be it on the phone or in person, I won't hesitate to make him and his mum lose face. I also did verbalize that I am still furious about her biasness and prejudice against me. He reassured that his mum wouldn't provoke me if I don't provoke her. Good, let things stay this way.
True enough, I didn't bother to communicate with her neither did I even give her any eye contact. I just treated her as invisible and didn't even greet her as I entered the house. The mere sight of her just pisses me off right now.
My husband challenged me to stay mad at her for 1 yr or more and I told him, we will see how. For now, let things remain this way. I am not sure if this attitude would affect my marriage next year but I am really unhappy about the way she has chosen to handle things to be biased against me. I also did told my husband that even if chose to go back to his mum, I don't blame him but don't expect me to nice to her as long as I am still mad at her.
If he ain't able to understand this fact, then he isn't fit to be my man, right?
Anyway, went back with my husband to stay on Saturday night at his place as we wanted to watch WWE on his cable TV. However, I did warn him if his mum is hostile or heard complaining about me to anyone, be it on the phone or in person, I won't hesitate to make him and his mum lose face. I also did verbalize that I am still furious about her biasness and prejudice against me. He reassured that his mum wouldn't provoke me if I don't provoke her. Good, let things stay this way.
True enough, I didn't bother to communicate with her neither did I even give her any eye contact. I just treated her as invisible and didn't even greet her as I entered the house. The mere sight of her just pisses me off right now.
My husband challenged me to stay mad at her for 1 yr or more and I told him, we will see how. For now, let things remain this way. I am not sure if this attitude would affect my marriage next year but I am really unhappy about the way she has chosen to handle things to be biased against me. I also did told my husband that even if chose to go back to his mum, I don't blame him but don't expect me to nice to her as long as I am still mad at her.
If he ain't able to understand this fact, then he isn't fit to be my man, right?
Friday, November 28, 2008
My Best Buds
Was digging and looking through some old photos & found this neocard. Cheers to 11yrs of friendship and many more years to come.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Conclusion
My husband went back to own home last evening and had a talk with his mum. The conclusion was that he decided to stay my place during the weekdays and return back for the weekends. It is like our roles all exchanged.
He also witnessed the hamster climbing out the cage itself cleverly and thus, it is proven that the PRC was innocent. This should her even more 'prideful' after this incident.
However, I told him that I was still sore about his mum 'chasing' me out of her house, acusing me of hitting her son that night when I did not, being biased towards the PRC woman and even telling me that I am not welcomed in her house anymore. Guess I am really fed up this time with all the attitude change towards me from my mum in law ever since the PRC woman was in the picture. I don't ask for much, just some form of fairness or at least don't show all the prejudice as well as biasness so obviously. It is totally not fair to me.
Anyway, I would be slightly happier back at my own home. At least I need not put up with biasness or anyone who decides to be nasty and sabotage my stuff. I also need not see the cocky look on that PRC woman's face that she has won the battle. I still don't think she is as innocent as everyone thinks she is.
He also witnessed the hamster climbing out the cage itself cleverly and thus, it is proven that the PRC was innocent. This should her even more 'prideful' after this incident.
However, I told him that I was still sore about his mum 'chasing' me out of her house, acusing me of hitting her son that night when I did not, being biased towards the PRC woman and even telling me that I am not welcomed in her house anymore. Guess I am really fed up this time with all the attitude change towards me from my mum in law ever since the PRC woman was in the picture. I don't ask for much, just some form of fairness or at least don't show all the prejudice as well as biasness so obviously. It is totally not fair to me.
Anyway, I would be slightly happier back at my own home. At least I need not put up with biasness or anyone who decides to be nasty and sabotage my stuff. I also need not see the cocky look on that PRC woman's face that she has won the battle. I still don't think she is as innocent as everyone thinks she is.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Back @ Mum's Place With Husband
In summary:
- PRC woman let my hamster out and let it go missing
- Refuses to admit to it
- All evidence is against her everyone is 'siding' her saying no eyewitness
- A quarrel breaks out between my husband and me
- His father had to get involve and tell a lie so that I would think that he was the one who let out the hamster. However, when confronted and proven that he was lying to side the PRC woman, he was left speechless.
- His father mocked at me saying that I am childish to be making a big fuss over a lost hamster and all I had to do is just simply buy a new one.
- I decided to move back to my parents' place.
- My husband decides to follow me as he could understand my fury and frustrations.
- As I was shifting the bag to pack the stuff back, the mother jumped to conclusion that I had hit her son due to a loud thud when the bag dropped on the floor and shouted at me thinking that I had hurt her son.
- When she realized that she had accused wrongly, she didn't apologize.
- My husband told her we are moving to my parents' place, she started chasing us out of the house by asking us to leave and get lost.
- She told my husband to leave me and never to contact me.
- She also told me never to step into their house ever again and I am not welcomed in their house.
- In the end, my husband surrendered his house key and left his home with me.
Now, he is one grouchy and grumpy man. Trust me, he would go back to his mum soon (he is a mummy's boy and is close to his mum) and my marriage would be over all thanks to his mother. I am pretty sure she would try her best to brain-wash him to divorce him and to leave me. She would use her 'drama' of crying as well as wanting to commit suicide to win her son back to her side. Thus, I would soon be back to square one again, after much drama and patience to salvage my marriage. Congrats Amelia nice try to maintaining your marriage painstakingly only to end up with a divorce in the end. *Haiz*
Anyway, well, let's say if he really does leave me or divorce me because of his mum's brain-washing, I would say he is not worth being my husband to protect me as he would not be able to differentiate who is in the right and who is in the wrong. On the other hand, some may say: you could have many spouses in your life but only one mother.
- PRC woman let my hamster out and let it go missing
- Refuses to admit to it
- All evidence is against her everyone is 'siding' her saying no eyewitness
- A quarrel breaks out between my husband and me
- His father had to get involve and tell a lie so that I would think that he was the one who let out the hamster. However, when confronted and proven that he was lying to side the PRC woman, he was left speechless.
- His father mocked at me saying that I am childish to be making a big fuss over a lost hamster and all I had to do is just simply buy a new one.
- I decided to move back to my parents' place.
- My husband decides to follow me as he could understand my fury and frustrations.
- As I was shifting the bag to pack the stuff back, the mother jumped to conclusion that I had hit her son due to a loud thud when the bag dropped on the floor and shouted at me thinking that I had hurt her son.
- When she realized that she had accused wrongly, she didn't apologize.
- My husband told her we are moving to my parents' place, she started chasing us out of the house by asking us to leave and get lost.
- She told my husband to leave me and never to contact me.
- She also told me never to step into their house ever again and I am not welcomed in their house.
- In the end, my husband surrendered his house key and left his home with me.
Now, he is one grouchy and grumpy man. Trust me, he would go back to his mum soon (he is a mummy's boy and is close to his mum) and my marriage would be over all thanks to his mother. I am pretty sure she would try her best to brain-wash him to divorce him and to leave me. She would use her 'drama' of crying as well as wanting to commit suicide to win her son back to her side. Thus, I would soon be back to square one again, after much drama and patience to salvage my marriage. Congrats Amelia nice try to maintaining your marriage painstakingly only to end up with a divorce in the end. *Haiz*
Anyway, well, let's say if he really does leave me or divorce me because of his mum's brain-washing, I would say he is not worth being my husband to protect me as he would not be able to differentiate who is in the right and who is in the wrong. On the other hand, some may say: you could have many spouses in your life but only one mother.
Friday, November 14, 2008
New Workplace
Had a glimpse of my future workplace today when the Assistant Director of the Nursing Division showed my colleague and I the work area, which is currently undergoing the last minute renovation works.
Of course, the place is beautiful, spacious, more posh, more sunlight and much more conducive for chemotherapy to take place for patients. They get personal LCD TV, headphones and own space + 'privacy', which is good.
It is much bigger than my current work area. Bigger work space = more patients = more work = more stuff to be done = more efforts needed to de-stress. BUT, no increase in manpower. Currently, we are dealing with 20 patients maximum per day but once we move over to the new area, we would be dealing with 38 maximum per day with just 2 nurses. GREAT! Imagine, 2 nurses dealing with 38 patients per day... I will just die of exhaustion.
Anyway, like it or not, we are moving up. With effect of 9 Dec 2008 would no longer be known as GCC (Gynae Cancer Centre) staff but WDTC (Women Day Therapy Centre) staff. With the recent economy crisis, guess I wouldn't be running anywhere until the economy is better.
Just keeping my fingers crossed that KK would be able to find another nurse to help us. Ain't going to be easy. It is already hard to find a nurse willing to touch chemotherapy drugs, what more now most people are waiting for their bonuses and will only tender their resignation in January 2009. Thus, by the time we can find a nurse willing to cope with this huge workload would be earliest by Feb 2009.
Till now... Good Luck To Myself and My Colleague.
Of course, the place is beautiful, spacious, more posh, more sunlight and much more conducive for chemotherapy to take place for patients. They get personal LCD TV, headphones and own space + 'privacy', which is good.
It is much bigger than my current work area. Bigger work space = more patients = more work = more stuff to be done = more efforts needed to de-stress. BUT, no increase in manpower. Currently, we are dealing with 20 patients maximum per day but once we move over to the new area, we would be dealing with 38 maximum per day with just 2 nurses. GREAT! Imagine, 2 nurses dealing with 38 patients per day... I will just die of exhaustion.
Anyway, like it or not, we are moving up. With effect of 9 Dec 2008 would no longer be known as GCC (Gynae Cancer Centre) staff but WDTC (Women Day Therapy Centre) staff. With the recent economy crisis, guess I wouldn't be running anywhere until the economy is better.
Just keeping my fingers crossed that KK would be able to find another nurse to help us. Ain't going to be easy. It is already hard to find a nurse willing to touch chemotherapy drugs, what more now most people are waiting for their bonuses and will only tender their resignation in January 2009. Thus, by the time we can find a nurse willing to cope with this huge workload would be earliest by Feb 2009.
Till now... Good Luck To Myself and My Colleague.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
我是真的付出我的爱
别走开给我一个时间对你说爱
手触着心缓缓呼吸
深深地感觉心在说我爱你
哦宝贝给我一个时间对你说爱
用我的心化做星星
填满你寂寞的夜里
从来不曾有过这样的感觉
迫切渴望拥有每一个永远
就让转动的世界停留在眼前
让我对你说对你说
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
别走开给我一个时间对你说爱
手触着心缓缓呼吸
深深地感觉心在说我爱你
哦宝贝给我一个时间对你说爱
用我的心化做星星
填满你寂寞的夜里
从来不曾有过这样的感觉
迫切渴望拥有每一个永远
就让转动的世界停留在眼前
让我对你说对你说
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
手触着心缓缓呼吸
深深地感觉心在说我爱你
哦宝贝给我一个时间对你说爱
用我的心化做星星
填满你寂寞的夜里
从来不曾有过这样的感觉
迫切渴望拥有每一个永远
就让转动的世界停留在眼前
让我对你说对你说
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
别走开给我一个时间对你说爱
手触着心缓缓呼吸
深深地感觉心在说我爱你
哦宝贝给我一个时间对你说爱
用我的心化做星星
填满你寂寞的夜里
从来不曾有过这样的感觉
迫切渴望拥有每一个永远
就让转动的世界停留在眼前
让我对你说对你说
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后不会再更改
哦让我拥有你到未来
我是真的付出我的爱
从今以后就不会再更改
让我拥有你全部的爱
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Coach Wristlet
A new collection added to my Coach 'obesession'. Hopefully this obesession wouldn't make me broke. Haha...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Beautiful Lyrics
I only wanna be the man
to give you everything I can
every day and every night
love you for all my life.
I don't wanna change the world
as long as you're my girl
it's more than enough,
just to be the man you love.
If my husband would ever say such words to me, I would be floating on cloud nine dreamily... Lost in transition...
to give you everything I can
every day and every night
love you for all my life.
I don't wanna change the world
as long as you're my girl
it's more than enough,
just to be the man you love.
If my husband would ever say such words to me, I would be floating on cloud nine dreamily... Lost in transition...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sprained Ankle AGAIN!
One day post DND and I sprained my ankle badly while buying lunch for my husband. Haiz...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
KKH DND
Had my company's annual DND this evening and of all days, I had to have a stiff neck as well as my menses had to come. Damn't ***t! I also don't know how I got a stiff neck as I had woke up total fine. It was after attending someone's church wedding and while eating lunch then did I feel the tension of my scapula muscles slowly 'spreading' to the left side of my neck. Soon, my neck cannot even bend or flex otherwise there would be this pain radiating from the neck muscles. Even after stretching exercises, the stiff neck didn't improve a wee bit, in fact, it got worst. Sian! Of all days, I had to have this stiff neck.
Anyway, the DND ended well but making very pai seh... First, my name was announced repeatedly as I had lost my DND entry pass, which contains the number to the lucky draw, so the DeeJay had to find its owner (which was me). Then, they played KKH's 150 years anniversary video which a portion of it shown me administering an injection to a patient. That was when those who knew me started 'shouting' my name, making me more embarrassed...
Hopefully, my stiff neck will go away tomorrow and not bug me anymore...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sweetest Memory...
To Jeff:
Will you, __________________ take this woman ______________ to be your wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I do.
To Me:
Will you, _________________ take this man _________________ to be your wedded husband, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I do.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Can't Think Of A Title...
Love is never about money. Love is never binding. Love is never about ourselves. Love is placing the person we love before ourselves, just like how we love ourselves.
What Is Jealousy???
Definition 1:
Jealousy is about real or imagined fears--fear of abandonment, fear of loss of love, fear of being dishonored in the relationship, fear of being shamed in the community, unresolved issues from past relationships, lack issues, poor self esteem, cover or mask for things from the past that you haven't healed yet, vindictive or a desire for revenge that is misguided or misdirected toward someone else.
When jealous feelings come up, it's usually because we're afraid that we won't get our needs of one kind or another met. It's been our experience that when jealousy comes up, somewhere within us, we are crying out for help.
Jealousy usually seems to result from a couple of different scenarios:
There is "proof" or at least a strong suspicion that agreements and commitments between two people have actually been broken by one of them or …
It shows up when one person or both people in the relationship are very insecure in their relationship or in life. Jealous feelings come up with a partner, or others, whose actions haven't warranted it.
Definition 2:
Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviours.
Emotions - pain, anger, rage, sadness, envy, fear, grief, humiliation.
Thoughts - resentment, blame, comparison with the rival, worry about image, self-pity.
Behaviours - feeling faint, trembling and sweating, constant questioning and seeking reassurance, aggressive actions, even violence.
However, I am defined as immatured and childish when I am plagued with jealousy. I was even told that I don't have the rights to be jealous... Crap!
Jealousy is about real or imagined fears--fear of abandonment, fear of loss of love, fear of being dishonored in the relationship, fear of being shamed in the community, unresolved issues from past relationships, lack issues, poor self esteem, cover or mask for things from the past that you haven't healed yet, vindictive or a desire for revenge that is misguided or misdirected toward someone else.
When jealous feelings come up, it's usually because we're afraid that we won't get our needs of one kind or another met. It's been our experience that when jealousy comes up, somewhere within us, we are crying out for help.
Jealousy usually seems to result from a couple of different scenarios:
There is "proof" or at least a strong suspicion that agreements and commitments between two people have actually been broken by one of them or …
It shows up when one person or both people in the relationship are very insecure in their relationship or in life. Jealous feelings come up with a partner, or others, whose actions haven't warranted it.
Definition 2:
Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviours.
Emotions - pain, anger, rage, sadness, envy, fear, grief, humiliation.
Thoughts - resentment, blame, comparison with the rival, worry about image, self-pity.
Behaviours - feeling faint, trembling and sweating, constant questioning and seeking reassurance, aggressive actions, even violence.
However, I am defined as immatured and childish when I am plagued with jealousy. I was even told that I don't have the rights to be jealous... Crap!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
She's Back
The newly weds are back from their 'honeymoon' and back to ruin my life, my mood and my psychological well being.
Although I haven't met the PRC woman the whole day today but seems like she hasn't learn not be so loud when she is speaking. She is still the same old woman with 'exaggerated' movements and barbaric in her actions as to bang doors or speaking loudly. Anyway, she has not touch on my raw nerve yet. As long she don't irritate me and I wouldn't irritate her. She don't step on my tail and I will leave alone.
However, with her new found status, I would be looking forward to a drama filled life for my in laws... I would think she is now very proud that she has gained what she initially came to Singapore for... PR and marriage to a Singaporean man to 'conquer' his wealth and to flaunt her luckiness to have found a Singaporean man to marry her.
Although I haven't met the PRC woman the whole day today but seems like she hasn't learn not be so loud when she is speaking. She is still the same old woman with 'exaggerated' movements and barbaric in her actions as to bang doors or speaking loudly. Anyway, she has not touch on my raw nerve yet. As long she don't irritate me and I wouldn't irritate her. She don't step on my tail and I will leave alone.
However, with her new found status, I would be looking forward to a drama filled life for my in laws... I would think she is now very proud that she has gained what she initially came to Singapore for... PR and marriage to a Singaporean man to 'conquer' his wealth and to flaunt her luckiness to have found a Singaporean man to marry her.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Wedding Photography A Sucess
Praise God for the fine and beautiful weather He had provided for my outdoor photoshoots. I was very worried that the weather would be unfavourable for the outdoor shoot as it was raining heavily in the afternoons for the past few days. However, Thank God for answering my prayers for good weather.
We went to a church, Alexander area and lastly Sentosa for the photoshoot. Managed to catch the sunset background that I had always wished for.
Now gottta wait for at least a month before the photos are out and we can only choose 30 pictures out the 200+ shots that was taken today...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
On Leave 4 My Photo Shoot
Plans for tomorrow:
1) Facial
2) Eye brow shaping
3) Upper lip waxing
4) Manicure
5) Deposit my coins
Quite excited for my photo shoot this Friday. Praying hard that the weather would be good for my outdoor shoot...
1) Facial
2) Eye brow shaping
3) Upper lip waxing
4) Manicure
5) Deposit my coins
Quite excited for my photo shoot this Friday. Praying hard that the weather would be good for my outdoor shoot...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Behind A Clean House Is A Woman
Yes, as the title suggests, this is a fact that I have learnt. Why?
1) My own parents' house is kept clean by my mum and if my mum ain't around, the house would be a in big mess... Clothes unwashed, floor un-vacuumed, toilets un-scrubed and rooms in a mess.
2) My mum in law has gone to China from 25 Sept to 7 Oct 2008 and has left the house indirectly in my care. Thus, I have been doing the housework every now and then. This weekend, I went by my own place to stay and when I come back to the house of:
- plates left in the basin unwashed
- floor is full of hair + dust
-toilet un-scrubed
- worn 'dried' sweat drenched clothes + socks are thrown on the floor awaiting to be washed
- hamster cage uncleaned
- kitchen table are dirty with coffee stain, chilli sauce stain and unfinished food left opened
- rubbish bin plastic bag filled with rubbish, waiting to be thrown into the rubbish chute
Obviously, I had to do the cleaning up and nagged to no results... Haiz, hopefully someone could understand and sympathize with me.
3) When my husband and I had a cold war for the 2 weeks, I came back to a messy room and stinky room. His books + clothes sprawled all over the room, underwear left on the dusty + 'hairy' floor, bed-sheet unchanged and this musky smell when you enter the room.
Thus, from these 3 real-life examples I have coded above, I am all ready to come up with this conclusion that behind every clean and tidy house, is a woman who is willing to pick up the mess, clean the place and just keep all these 'frustration' of weekly cleaning to herself and under her breath cursing while cleaning up.
1) My own parents' house is kept clean by my mum and if my mum ain't around, the house would be a in big mess... Clothes unwashed, floor un-vacuumed, toilets un-scrubed and rooms in a mess.
2) My mum in law has gone to China from 25 Sept to 7 Oct 2008 and has left the house indirectly in my care. Thus, I have been doing the housework every now and then. This weekend, I went by my own place to stay and when I come back to the house of:
- plates left in the basin unwashed
- floor is full of hair + dust
-toilet un-scrubed
- worn 'dried' sweat drenched clothes + socks are thrown on the floor awaiting to be washed
- hamster cage uncleaned
- kitchen table are dirty with coffee stain, chilli sauce stain and unfinished food left opened
- rubbish bin plastic bag filled with rubbish, waiting to be thrown into the rubbish chute
Obviously, I had to do the cleaning up and nagged to no results... Haiz, hopefully someone could understand and sympathize with me.
3) When my husband and I had a cold war for the 2 weeks, I came back to a messy room and stinky room. His books + clothes sprawled all over the room, underwear left on the dusty + 'hairy' floor, bed-sheet unchanged and this musky smell when you enter the room.
Thus, from these 3 real-life examples I have coded above, I am all ready to come up with this conclusion that behind every clean and tidy house, is a woman who is willing to pick up the mess, clean the place and just keep all these 'frustration' of weekly cleaning to herself and under her breath cursing while cleaning up.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
1st Gown Fitting
Did my 1st gown fitting today. Love my both gowns very much. Hopefully things would go smoothly from now until 10 May 2009.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Nelvin's Wedding Dinner
This picture was taken before we left my house for my BIL's wedding dinner. For the first time, I was attending a wedding dinner which I dread. I am glad it is all over... Had to 'act' happy and giving my congrats to the groom, my laws, bride and her parents. Although the dinner was nice, however the area was very cramp and small for 23 tables. The bride does look pretty tonight but still I can't see how I would be able to have her as part of my in laws. Anyways, I do wish my BIL all the best in this current marriage 'cause he does look very happy at the dinner, hopefully, this PRC is sincerely in love with him with no strings attached.
Finally, 21 Sept 2008 is over. However, I still hate September for all the unhappiness I have been through for the past 2 weeks. Although we have patched back to maintain the marriage, but we are still trying to mend the cracks and gaps it has left.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
1st POD
We had a good chat last night and decided to give ourselves one more last chance to maintain this marriage. We also realized that our patience towards one another has been running low and it is time to see how much more we can compromise before exploding. Thus, divorce is still not out the question. It is like, one more last straw and that would be final decision.
I had also expressed my views on how this relationship as well as compromising to him has taken toll on my patience as well as my feelings for him. Thus, I gave him a piece of warning too: I also will make the first move to divorce him once my patience runs out. Made it clear to him that although I had made the mistake to raise hands on him but I still would have my own pride to uphold.
So let's see how things go from here. Of course, I still love him and won't want this marriage to end, however, if things just get too out of hand, I guess, divorcing is still the best option.
I had also expressed my views on how this relationship as well as compromising to him has taken toll on my patience as well as my feelings for him. Thus, I gave him a piece of warning too: I also will make the first move to divorce him once my patience runs out. Made it clear to him that although I had made the mistake to raise hands on him but I still would have my own pride to uphold.
So let's see how things go from here. Of course, I still love him and won't want this marriage to end, however, if things just get too out of hand, I guess, divorcing is still the best option.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Judgement Day Tommorrow
Tomorrow I will be getting the answer which I dread most.
Wonder if I would be strong enough to accept the truth.
2 weeks and I think that I have built up enough strength to hear the truth.
But not sure if my heart and soul would still shatter at the moment of truth.
Haiz... I am NEVER ever going to fall in love again or ever get married again.
Wonder if I would be strong enough to accept the truth.
2 weeks and I think that I have built up enough strength to hear the truth.
But not sure if my heart and soul would still shatter at the moment of truth.
Haiz... I am NEVER ever going to fall in love again or ever get married again.
Friday, September 12, 2008
One Week From That Fateful Day
Life is so different when suddenly my handphone is so quiet for the whole day, no caring sms-es, no phone calls to ask where to meet for dinner and no one to care about how my day at work went.
Guess for the past 8 years, I have been so used to all these simple care and concerns until now when everything is gone, I feel so eliminated, lonely, helpless and uncared for.
For the past week, the daily comfort I get are from my patients whom managed to cheer me up with their positive comments about life, their praises on how good I have been a nurse to them, how they missed my joyful character while they are at home recovering post-chemotherapy and how they have seem to be better after each chemotherapy.
My parents, especially my mother, has been quite concern over the situation of my marriage and has been asking me for daily updates, which has nothing pleasant to talk about.
Life is currently is like heading for a downturn for me. Reading my Christianity books to seek 'refuge' in God's words and helping me to feel less upset...
Praying daily for the best for my marriage and for my life. Praying for a happier time for myself soon. Hate to be in this depressive state but I can't help it when I am suddenly left to wonder what my marriage holds. Few times this week, even while I am wearing my uniform, tears just wells up in my eyes, attempting to flow down my cheeks and I have to consciously pretend to be yawning to wipe them away. Deep down, my heart is wrenching with sadness and remorse but yet I have to pretend that I am ok with this emptiness. Can't afford to let anyone see me in such an upset state. I am such a disgrace to myself...
Guess for the past 8 years, I have been so used to all these simple care and concerns until now when everything is gone, I feel so eliminated, lonely, helpless and uncared for.
For the past week, the daily comfort I get are from my patients whom managed to cheer me up with their positive comments about life, their praises on how good I have been a nurse to them, how they missed my joyful character while they are at home recovering post-chemotherapy and how they have seem to be better after each chemotherapy.
My parents, especially my mother, has been quite concern over the situation of my marriage and has been asking me for daily updates, which has nothing pleasant to talk about.
Life is currently is like heading for a downturn for me. Reading my Christianity books to seek 'refuge' in God's words and helping me to feel less upset...
Praying daily for the best for my marriage and for my life. Praying for a happier time for myself soon. Hate to be in this depressive state but I can't help it when I am suddenly left to wonder what my marriage holds. Few times this week, even while I am wearing my uniform, tears just wells up in my eyes, attempting to flow down my cheeks and I have to consciously pretend to be yawning to wipe them away. Deep down, my heart is wrenching with sadness and remorse but yet I have to pretend that I am ok with this emptiness. Can't afford to let anyone see me in such an upset state. I am such a disgrace to myself...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Alone...
He has finally let me know when my judgement day would be: 4th October 2008. He has not called or sms-ed me today. My handphone is also oddly very quiet. Feel so quiet today, doubt he will ever call me for the next few weeks. Looks like this time I had really hurt his ego and pride real bad with those slaps. Seems like he is ready to condemn me.
Anyway, consulted a superior's son who happens to be a lawyer and he said that if their is no legal issue for a divorce, the couple has to separated for at least 3yrs before divorce is finalized. However, if one party has a legal issue to divorce and has evidence for his/her allegation, the divorce is quite immediate, probably in few months time. He had also told me if my husband is the one who wants to divorce, he should be the one finding the lawyer and paying for all legal fees. I should not be paying a single cent as I am not the one who initiates divorce. Thus, it only needs one lawyer to settle the divorce and I need not find my own lawyer.
It sounds like I am more or less prepared to face a divorce from him, especially after the conversation we had last night which ended quite bitterly. Haiz, what to do? I had physically hit him, which I regret doing and is willing to try to change or at least control my aggressiveness. True, he had also verbally abused me but the most people I had related the story to supported that physical abuse is much worse than verbal abuse.
It seems like I am destined to be a total failure in the aspect of my love life. Perhaps, I am not fated to be married. Maybe, I am fated to be single and lonely for the rest of my life. So sad...
Wish that God could take me away from all this misery soon. It is painful to be like this daily, tearing automatically whenever I think of him and feeling this sense of lost as well as emptiness inside me. Feel so vulnerable right now...
Anyway, consulted a superior's son who happens to be a lawyer and he said that if their is no legal issue for a divorce, the couple has to separated for at least 3yrs before divorce is finalized. However, if one party has a legal issue to divorce and has evidence for his/her allegation, the divorce is quite immediate, probably in few months time. He had also told me if my husband is the one who wants to divorce, he should be the one finding the lawyer and paying for all legal fees. I should not be paying a single cent as I am not the one who initiates divorce. Thus, it only needs one lawyer to settle the divorce and I need not find my own lawyer.
It sounds like I am more or less prepared to face a divorce from him, especially after the conversation we had last night which ended quite bitterly. Haiz, what to do? I had physically hit him, which I regret doing and is willing to try to change or at least control my aggressiveness. True, he had also verbally abused me but the most people I had related the story to supported that physical abuse is much worse than verbal abuse.
It seems like I am destined to be a total failure in the aspect of my love life. Perhaps, I am not fated to be married. Maybe, I am fated to be single and lonely for the rest of my life. So sad...
Wish that God could take me away from all this misery soon. It is painful to be like this daily, tearing automatically whenever I think of him and feeling this sense of lost as well as emptiness inside me. Feel so vulnerable right now...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I So Hate Myself & September
Already blogged on how I hated September and now one more list to be added on why I am so going hate this year's September. Yes, had a major argument with my husband and we are kiv going to opt for a divorce.
It is my fault too... Don't wish to blog furthur about what a major disaster error I had committed but definitely not adultery... Just too upset and mad at myself to speak or mention it for now... (read the previous post to get a rough idea.)
I so hate September 2008. In fact, I am starting to hate 2008. Every month has not been a happy month for me. Every month this year has/had something bad happened. Haiz...
Now I am left dangling aimless, uncertain of what my future holds for my marriage. I feel like a criminal awaiting the sentence of the judge after I had pleaded guilty for the crime that I had committed. That feeling total sucks big time!
Guess I ain't that heartless as I thought afterall. Guess I still do have some feelings for him afterall. Guess I am still this woman in love with him afterall. No wonder someone once said to me that 'love can make you and it can also break you'... Yes, I am not too shy to admit, I have been broken and shatter into piece just by love itself. I am a victim to the cruelty of love.
It is my fault too... Don't wish to blog furthur about what a major disaster error I had committed but definitely not adultery... Just too upset and mad at myself to speak or mention it for now... (read the previous post to get a rough idea.)
I so hate September 2008. In fact, I am starting to hate 2008. Every month has not been a happy month for me. Every month this year has/had something bad happened. Haiz...
Now I am left dangling aimless, uncertain of what my future holds for my marriage. I feel like a criminal awaiting the sentence of the judge after I had pleaded guilty for the crime that I had committed. That feeling total sucks big time!
Guess I ain't that heartless as I thought afterall. Guess I still do have some feelings for him afterall. Guess I am still this woman in love with him afterall. No wonder someone once said to me that 'love can make you and it can also break you'... Yes, I am not too shy to admit, I have been broken and shatter into piece just by love itself. I am a victim to the cruelty of love.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Divorce On The Way
Had a major arguement with my husband (or perhaps, ex-husband to be) and even fought it out with him. All thanks to his verbal abuse and insults to my self esteem that contributed to him getting few slaps across his face from me. If I had not counted wrongly, it would be around 5-7 slaps.
Tonight, we will be talking it out with my parents to see the fate of my marriage.
Actually was thinking that if we really do divorce. It could also be a kind of blessing for me:
- I can go back to my own singlehood life
- I regain my freedom to do whatever I want and like
- I can go back to my cigarettes
- I can go clubbing and drinking of cocktails with my friends
- I need not tolerate his sister in law from China
- I can shake off my responsibility as a wife to wash, iron his clothes as well as try my best to accomodate to his dinner 'menu'.
- I need not worry if I would offend him anymore
- All my worries about the marriage ending one day would be over...
In fact, at this moment in time, I am kind of looking forward to his decision to divorce and hopefully, my parents would be on my side. Life would be much better I guess. But who knows, perhaps when that decision is made, tears may roll down my face again in the silence of the night when I am alone in my own room or whenever I see happy, romantic couples.
In the meantime, let nature takes it course until the finally decision is being made.
Just a part of a song I heard today which reminds me of I will might feel once the decision is made:
Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
And even though I really I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time
Tonight, we will be talking it out with my parents to see the fate of my marriage.
Actually was thinking that if we really do divorce. It could also be a kind of blessing for me:
- I can go back to my own singlehood life
- I regain my freedom to do whatever I want and like
- I can go back to my cigarettes
- I can go clubbing and drinking of cocktails with my friends
- I need not tolerate his sister in law from China
- I can shake off my responsibility as a wife to wash, iron his clothes as well as try my best to accomodate to his dinner 'menu'.
- I need not worry if I would offend him anymore
- All my worries about the marriage ending one day would be over...
In fact, at this moment in time, I am kind of looking forward to his decision to divorce and hopefully, my parents would be on my side. Life would be much better I guess. But who knows, perhaps when that decision is made, tears may roll down my face again in the silence of the night when I am alone in my own room or whenever I see happy, romantic couples.
In the meantime, let nature takes it course until the finally decision is being made.
Just a part of a song I heard today which reminds me of I will might feel once the decision is made:
Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
And even though I really I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time
Monday, September 1, 2008
1 Sept 2008
The dates I am hating the most in Sept are:
14 Sept- My brother in law and that PRC ROM
21 Sept- My brother in law and that PRC customary wedding
How I wish the above dates would not come or even past quickly. Basically just cannot stand the fact that she will legally and customarily become my sister in law. I would not dare to wonder what other chaos she will bring with her after she has gotten her newly found status. Haiz... Life for me will get more miserable...
The dates however I am looking forward in Sept are:
28 Sept- My wedding gown first fitting and plus my trial make up
End Sept- Josephine's wedding gown fitting. She is such a beauty to admire... I would think she would look totally like a princess in her wedding gown. *envious* (Wish I would have half her beauty...)
Anyway, Happy Teachers' Day to those teachers out there... Hopefully you all would put more effort in cultivating our future generations to have less ah bengs and ah lians, plus kindly refine their behaviour as well as speech to have less vulgarities.
14 Sept- My brother in law and that PRC ROM
21 Sept- My brother in law and that PRC customary wedding
How I wish the above dates would not come or even past quickly. Basically just cannot stand the fact that she will legally and customarily become my sister in law. I would not dare to wonder what other chaos she will bring with her after she has gotten her newly found status. Haiz... Life for me will get more miserable...
The dates however I am looking forward in Sept are:
28 Sept- My wedding gown first fitting and plus my trial make up
End Sept- Josephine's wedding gown fitting. She is such a beauty to admire... I would think she would look totally like a princess in her wedding gown. *envious* (Wish I would have half her beauty...)
Anyway, Happy Teachers' Day to those teachers out there... Hopefully you all would put more effort in cultivating our future generations to have less ah bengs and ah lians, plus kindly refine their behaviour as well as speech to have less vulgarities.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wedding Emcees
Met up with my wedding emcees for dinner on Friday and have confirmed them due to the fact that it is worth the price (1 English Emcee, 1 Chinese Emcee and 1 Assistant Coordinator) and that the emcees seems very professional, especially their confidence to motivate my guest as well as handle any bloopers that may happen during my wedding banquet.
So guess, more or less my wedding preps are quite done. Now it is just left with gown fitting, photo-shoot, finding KIV honeymoon place, saving up and lastly, to keep my health as well as complexion intact. LOLX.
Currently, working on my guest list. Good news is that most my close friends and their spouse/bfs are invited and for those whom I can't 'afford' to invite due to space contraints, my sincere apologies.
PS: To Clarice, don't get too upset about things that are about to happen. Take them in stride and be positive to whatever outcome it maybe. OK? :)
So guess, more or less my wedding preps are quite done. Now it is just left with gown fitting, photo-shoot, finding KIV honeymoon place, saving up and lastly, to keep my health as well as complexion intact. LOLX.
Currently, working on my guest list. Good news is that most my close friends and their spouse/bfs are invited and for those whom I can't 'afford' to invite due to space contraints, my sincere apologies.
PS: To Clarice, don't get too upset about things that are about to happen. Take them in stride and be positive to whatever outcome it maybe. OK? :)
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Boar Personality
This is the sign of honest, simplicity and great fortitude. Gallant, sturdy and courageous, a person born in this year will apply himself to an allotted task with all his strength and you can rely on him to see through. Outwardly, he may appear rough-hewn and jovial, but scratch the surface and you will find pure gold.
The Boar is bound to be one of the most natural people you could come across. The original nice guy, winner of the "Charlie Brown" award, he will never hit you below the belt. The Boar person is popular and sough after because, like the Sheep and Rabbit, he seeks universal harmony. No doubt he will fights and differences with others, but he will not carry grudges unless you give him no choice. He doesn't like to add fuel to the fire in a confrontation and will usually let bygones be bygones. The lenient Boar will always take the first step forward and establish excellent rapport with others. If he fails, it certainly won't be for lack of trying at his end. He will be blessed with great endurance. He can work steadily on one thing at a time with incredible patience and will make an excellent and exact teacher.
However, he is equally reputed for his wanton pursuit of pleasure, and even depravity, when he emphasizes his negative traits.
In his life, the loyal and thoughtful Boar will make lasting and beneficial friendships. He enjoys gatherings of all kinds, giving parties and hosting fetes, joining clubs and all kinds of associations. A quiet organizer, who hates arguments and bickering, he is capable of bringing people of all sides together. His credibility and sincerity are his best assets. Yet, he can be a bit too affable and condescending at times, and he also expects others to tolerate his weaknesses.
The Boar will not dazzle you like the Dragon, nor bewitch you like the Monkey or Tiger, nor mesmerize you like a hypnotic Snake. He will simply grow on you until you cannot do without him. The solicitous Boar is synonymous with diligence and shining, old-fashioned chivalry. He won't mind taking up the burdens of others; he won't rebel at staying in the background or even supporting the whole cast with his incredible strength. He is the kind of person we tend to take for granted until he leaves us to fend for ourselves--totally stunned by our dependency on him.
It will be easy to trust the kindly Boar. He rarely has ulterior motives. As matter of fact, he is too innocent and naive, and as a result, he is the favorite victim of swindlers. Still, the guileless Boar is fortunate in the sense that he will always find people to help him even though he does not go around begging for favors. He would prefer to be on the giving end, and when he is in a position to help you, you can be sure he will extend his hand. Fortune will favor him in many respects because of his all-round goodness and faith in his fellowmen. The Boar believes in miracles and miracles will happen to him.
Calm and understanding, the Boar is a genial fellow who can and will tolerate a lot of nonsense from his friends. He is quick tempered too, but since he hates quarreling, he will end up giving his opponents the benefit of the doubt. All told, he is one of the most accommodating guys you could find.
A person born in this year will be a great fund-raiser. He will have a penchant for social work and charity because a spirit of selflessness prevails over such functions and because he seeks to identify with as many people as possible.
When the world is cruel to you and fate has dealt you a stinging blow, run to a Boar. Author of the Good Neighbor policy, he will welcome you and your troubles with open arms. He is good listener and even when you are definitely in the wrong, he will never have the heart to tell you so. He will do what he can without rubbing any salt into your wounds. He'll even get others involved. He'll call upon his Masonic brothers or hold a fund-raising dinner to help pay your debts. The Boar doesn't mind commitments. He's made for them. He has a good strong back and the biggest heart that can be found. These are no mean virtues by any standard and pretty hard to come by wherever you go. With a Boar, it is simply, "ask and you shall receive."
Now, to be perfectly fair, we must see the other side of the coin. While the Boar may be generosity itself, he also adheres to the "what's mine is your and what's yours is mine" maxim.
When your Boar friend comes calling, he will help himself to your food, your wine, your clothes, your new golf set, your latest camera, your car, etc, with relative ease and childlike simplicity. Telling him off could be a problem. He will respond with great disbelief and hurt. He won't understand or your one-way street mentality.
Ms. Boar will be either spotlessly clean or terribly untidy. All Boars tend to come in the these two categories and there are only rare cases of in-between. Nonetheless, she will be very personable and modest. She will devote every ounce of energy she has to the objects of her affection and ask for very little in return. You will be able to identify her by her remarkable purity of expression and trusting ways. Yet, although she loves with total abandonment, she will show a preference for anonymity or even secrecy. She can worship someone at a distance for years or serve him with passionate devotion without his knowing about it. She could play the perfect hostess to her husband's cronies and spoil the children by constantly answering to their beck and call not to mention picking up after them all the time. But she won't mind, and when she does complain, it will be mild. Actually, she loves tending to her family and will look upon them not as burdens but as her pride and joy. With her, it will be a labor of love. Wherever she presides, people will congregate in an atmosphere of happiness and contentment.
Defenseless against deception, the Boar person likes to trust everyone and will believe almost anything they tell him, even if they are strangers or people he knows superficially. Needless to say, the Boar and his money are easily parted. The unsophisticated Boar should avoid handling finances. With him, it could be, "easy come, easy go". He is soft-hearted and too sympathetic to hold the purse strings.
By nature, the Boar is materialist, yet he loves to share whatever he has. The more he gives, the more he seems to have. Unselfish and unassuming, he is surrounded by an ever-widening circle of friends whom he will allow to take advantage of him. He has equal need of them, too, as the sociable Boar must always feel part of the gang and enjoys footing the bills and being looked up to.
On the other hand, he is also thick-skinned and can dismiss insults and unpleasantness with a shrug. he does not like to look too far beyond tomorrow. It may be these traits that will help him recover quickly from the misfortunes that may befall him. The gregarious Boar just does not take calamity all that seriously.
Behind the sweet and reasonable facade of the Boar, there hides a remarkable power of resoluteness. He can take the seat of authority any time he pleases, but the Boar is his own worst enemy. His scruples always get the better of him and serve more as a hindrance to his progress than anything else. On the other hand, when he is pushed to the limit, he can respond savagely and turn into raging foe. He can summon up tremendous energy and perform Herculean feats.
While the Boar may appear gullible, he may be smarter than you dream. Actually, he knows how to care for his interests in an inoffensive manner, and by allowing you to take him for a ride, he may just give giving you enough rope to hang yourself. The Chinese saying " What is yours will always find a way to come back to you" applies to the Boar's policy in full force.
Anyway, being of scrupulous makeup, the Boar will rarely be a trickster or thief. He is all too uncomfortable with ill-gotten gain and will be haunted by severe guild feeling over the slightest transgression.
Once the Boar is driven to litigation--everyone loses. He may be barricaded by an army of lawyers or even held incommunicado by those familiar with his forgiving nature. He doesn't really hate you and personally regrets being the instrument of bitterness, but once his legal advisers have set the wheels into motion he is forced to go along with the suit. Even when he does win, he may be plagued by remorse for the rest of his life. Tangling in lawsuits will get the Boar dragged deep into the mid of the legal pit. His involvements in legal cases are often doomed to be long and complicated.
Being a sensuous creature, the Boar has strong passions. Endowed with extraordinary vigor and stamina, he is admired for putting his heart and soul into work. Then again, his very strength could turn out to be his undoing. Because of the fact that his virility and vitality are above average, the Boar will love to savor the good things in life without restriction. If he is unable to check his enormous appetites and practice self-control, the Boar will be corrupted or debased by people who know how to exploit his frailties.
The honest Boar loves with all his heart. He is very considerate as a rule and does not know how to camouflage his emotions. In a love affair, he or she is most likely to end up as the injured party. He could carry the torch for years to come.
His main fault will be his inability to say "No" firmly to himself, his family and his friends. In some cases, he will oblige others by making concessions that it would be wiser to avoid and end up in a heap of trouble. However, when difficulties result, he will bear the blame and burden uncomplainingly. He will become bankrupt at least once in his life, but he will always manage to make a comeback, brighter and bolder than before. The secret of his success lies in his good faith, generosity and resilience.
The Boar will elect to work hard in life, and he will play just as hard, too, so long as he can use up his bountiful supply of energy. With his basic aptitude and conscientiousness, he will triumph and provide well for those about him. His life is fated to be blessed with all he will need and the money, power and success that comes to him will be unselfishly shared with one and all. With his robust and free-spending ways, the burly Boar will always be found living it up. He is the perfect friend, forever willing to do you another favor, or led you another dollar. Maybe this explains why he is so lucky! At times, it seems he owns the Horn of Plenty.
Although intelligent and well-informed (everyone will somehow tell the Boar his secrets), the Boar person is not deep. He accepts things at face value and would rather conceal the misgivings he has about others in order to keep the peace.
But it is also said that the Boar has a fatalistic streak to his nature, and when he has nothing further to lose, he could turn into the most negative and debauched of creatures, throwing himself into an abyss of self-gratification and eventual destruction.
Most of the Boar's problems stem from his overgenerous character. If he could contain his basic urge to do too much for others and to promise more than he can deliver, he should have few major upsets.
The Boar will have a happy life when he shares it with the quiet and sagacious Rabbit or the gentle Sheep (my husband). He will also get along well with the Tiger. The Rat, Ox, Dragon, Horse, Rooster and Dog will make secondary teammates and have no serious conflicts with the Boar. He may find the company of other Boars too stimulating; but will be able take the things in stride. Most of his problems will arise from the dealing with the Snake and the Monkey (my future sis in law), for he will be no match for their cunning and wit.
The Boar is bound to be one of the most natural people you could come across. The original nice guy, winner of the "Charlie Brown" award, he will never hit you below the belt. The Boar person is popular and sough after because, like the Sheep and Rabbit, he seeks universal harmony. No doubt he will fights and differences with others, but he will not carry grudges unless you give him no choice. He doesn't like to add fuel to the fire in a confrontation and will usually let bygones be bygones. The lenient Boar will always take the first step forward and establish excellent rapport with others. If he fails, it certainly won't be for lack of trying at his end. He will be blessed with great endurance. He can work steadily on one thing at a time with incredible patience and will make an excellent and exact teacher.
However, he is equally reputed for his wanton pursuit of pleasure, and even depravity, when he emphasizes his negative traits.
In his life, the loyal and thoughtful Boar will make lasting and beneficial friendships. He enjoys gatherings of all kinds, giving parties and hosting fetes, joining clubs and all kinds of associations. A quiet organizer, who hates arguments and bickering, he is capable of bringing people of all sides together. His credibility and sincerity are his best assets. Yet, he can be a bit too affable and condescending at times, and he also expects others to tolerate his weaknesses.
The Boar will not dazzle you like the Dragon, nor bewitch you like the Monkey or Tiger, nor mesmerize you like a hypnotic Snake. He will simply grow on you until you cannot do without him. The solicitous Boar is synonymous with diligence and shining, old-fashioned chivalry. He won't mind taking up the burdens of others; he won't rebel at staying in the background or even supporting the whole cast with his incredible strength. He is the kind of person we tend to take for granted until he leaves us to fend for ourselves--totally stunned by our dependency on him.
It will be easy to trust the kindly Boar. He rarely has ulterior motives. As matter of fact, he is too innocent and naive, and as a result, he is the favorite victim of swindlers. Still, the guileless Boar is fortunate in the sense that he will always find people to help him even though he does not go around begging for favors. He would prefer to be on the giving end, and when he is in a position to help you, you can be sure he will extend his hand. Fortune will favor him in many respects because of his all-round goodness and faith in his fellowmen. The Boar believes in miracles and miracles will happen to him.
Calm and understanding, the Boar is a genial fellow who can and will tolerate a lot of nonsense from his friends. He is quick tempered too, but since he hates quarreling, he will end up giving his opponents the benefit of the doubt. All told, he is one of the most accommodating guys you could find.
A person born in this year will be a great fund-raiser. He will have a penchant for social work and charity because a spirit of selflessness prevails over such functions and because he seeks to identify with as many people as possible.
When the world is cruel to you and fate has dealt you a stinging blow, run to a Boar. Author of the Good Neighbor policy, he will welcome you and your troubles with open arms. He is good listener and even when you are definitely in the wrong, he will never have the heart to tell you so. He will do what he can without rubbing any salt into your wounds. He'll even get others involved. He'll call upon his Masonic brothers or hold a fund-raising dinner to help pay your debts. The Boar doesn't mind commitments. He's made for them. He has a good strong back and the biggest heart that can be found. These are no mean virtues by any standard and pretty hard to come by wherever you go. With a Boar, it is simply, "ask and you shall receive."
Now, to be perfectly fair, we must see the other side of the coin. While the Boar may be generosity itself, he also adheres to the "what's mine is your and what's yours is mine" maxim.
When your Boar friend comes calling, he will help himself to your food, your wine, your clothes, your new golf set, your latest camera, your car, etc, with relative ease and childlike simplicity. Telling him off could be a problem. He will respond with great disbelief and hurt. He won't understand or your one-way street mentality.
Ms. Boar will be either spotlessly clean or terribly untidy. All Boars tend to come in the these two categories and there are only rare cases of in-between. Nonetheless, she will be very personable and modest. She will devote every ounce of energy she has to the objects of her affection and ask for very little in return. You will be able to identify her by her remarkable purity of expression and trusting ways. Yet, although she loves with total abandonment, she will show a preference for anonymity or even secrecy. She can worship someone at a distance for years or serve him with passionate devotion without his knowing about it. She could play the perfect hostess to her husband's cronies and spoil the children by constantly answering to their beck and call not to mention picking up after them all the time. But she won't mind, and when she does complain, it will be mild. Actually, she loves tending to her family and will look upon them not as burdens but as her pride and joy. With her, it will be a labor of love. Wherever she presides, people will congregate in an atmosphere of happiness and contentment.
Defenseless against deception, the Boar person likes to trust everyone and will believe almost anything they tell him, even if they are strangers or people he knows superficially. Needless to say, the Boar and his money are easily parted. The unsophisticated Boar should avoid handling finances. With him, it could be, "easy come, easy go". He is soft-hearted and too sympathetic to hold the purse strings.
By nature, the Boar is materialist, yet he loves to share whatever he has. The more he gives, the more he seems to have. Unselfish and unassuming, he is surrounded by an ever-widening circle of friends whom he will allow to take advantage of him. He has equal need of them, too, as the sociable Boar must always feel part of the gang and enjoys footing the bills and being looked up to.
On the other hand, he is also thick-skinned and can dismiss insults and unpleasantness with a shrug. he does not like to look too far beyond tomorrow. It may be these traits that will help him recover quickly from the misfortunes that may befall him. The gregarious Boar just does not take calamity all that seriously.
Behind the sweet and reasonable facade of the Boar, there hides a remarkable power of resoluteness. He can take the seat of authority any time he pleases, but the Boar is his own worst enemy. His scruples always get the better of him and serve more as a hindrance to his progress than anything else. On the other hand, when he is pushed to the limit, he can respond savagely and turn into raging foe. He can summon up tremendous energy and perform Herculean feats.
While the Boar may appear gullible, he may be smarter than you dream. Actually, he knows how to care for his interests in an inoffensive manner, and by allowing you to take him for a ride, he may just give giving you enough rope to hang yourself. The Chinese saying " What is yours will always find a way to come back to you" applies to the Boar's policy in full force.
Anyway, being of scrupulous makeup, the Boar will rarely be a trickster or thief. He is all too uncomfortable with ill-gotten gain and will be haunted by severe guild feeling over the slightest transgression.
Once the Boar is driven to litigation--everyone loses. He may be barricaded by an army of lawyers or even held incommunicado by those familiar with his forgiving nature. He doesn't really hate you and personally regrets being the instrument of bitterness, but once his legal advisers have set the wheels into motion he is forced to go along with the suit. Even when he does win, he may be plagued by remorse for the rest of his life. Tangling in lawsuits will get the Boar dragged deep into the mid of the legal pit. His involvements in legal cases are often doomed to be long and complicated.
Being a sensuous creature, the Boar has strong passions. Endowed with extraordinary vigor and stamina, he is admired for putting his heart and soul into work. Then again, his very strength could turn out to be his undoing. Because of the fact that his virility and vitality are above average, the Boar will love to savor the good things in life without restriction. If he is unable to check his enormous appetites and practice self-control, the Boar will be corrupted or debased by people who know how to exploit his frailties.
The honest Boar loves with all his heart. He is very considerate as a rule and does not know how to camouflage his emotions. In a love affair, he or she is most likely to end up as the injured party. He could carry the torch for years to come.
His main fault will be his inability to say "No" firmly to himself, his family and his friends. In some cases, he will oblige others by making concessions that it would be wiser to avoid and end up in a heap of trouble. However, when difficulties result, he will bear the blame and burden uncomplainingly. He will become bankrupt at least once in his life, but he will always manage to make a comeback, brighter and bolder than before. The secret of his success lies in his good faith, generosity and resilience.
The Boar will elect to work hard in life, and he will play just as hard, too, so long as he can use up his bountiful supply of energy. With his basic aptitude and conscientiousness, he will triumph and provide well for those about him. His life is fated to be blessed with all he will need and the money, power and success that comes to him will be unselfishly shared with one and all. With his robust and free-spending ways, the burly Boar will always be found living it up. He is the perfect friend, forever willing to do you another favor, or led you another dollar. Maybe this explains why he is so lucky! At times, it seems he owns the Horn of Plenty.
Although intelligent and well-informed (everyone will somehow tell the Boar his secrets), the Boar person is not deep. He accepts things at face value and would rather conceal the misgivings he has about others in order to keep the peace.
But it is also said that the Boar has a fatalistic streak to his nature, and when he has nothing further to lose, he could turn into the most negative and debauched of creatures, throwing himself into an abyss of self-gratification and eventual destruction.
Most of the Boar's problems stem from his overgenerous character. If he could contain his basic urge to do too much for others and to promise more than he can deliver, he should have few major upsets.
The Boar will have a happy life when he shares it with the quiet and sagacious Rabbit or the gentle Sheep (my husband). He will also get along well with the Tiger. The Rat, Ox, Dragon, Horse, Rooster and Dog will make secondary teammates and have no serious conflicts with the Boar. He may find the company of other Boars too stimulating; but will be able take the things in stride. Most of his problems will arise from the dealing with the Snake and the Monkey (my future sis in law), for he will be no match for their cunning and wit.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Bad News Of The Day
My preceptor is leaving... It was a sudden shock to me when my manager made this announcement today at the morning meeting. Knowing my preceptor, she conceals her emotions and feelings very well, so I guess, all her unhappiness has gone un-noticed.
Oh well... as it is GCC is already lacking of staff so with one more staff, somemore a very competent staff gone, GCC is going be even more lack of staff...
Oh well... as it is GCC is already lacking of staff so with one more staff, somemore a very competent staff gone, GCC is going be even more lack of staff...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Define A Good & Romantic Husband
1) Does it mean that once a couple has known each other for a old time, romance also grows older and slowly dies off?
2) Is marriage really the tombstone of love and romance?
3) Does it mean that a romantic husband is a drama husband?
Well... this is the theory of my husband whom I have known for 8years and married for 2 years... He is so unromantic and even has forgotten how he proposed to me on 10 Sept 2005. He calls that wu liao. He says holding the customary marriage is just another step after ROM. He states that saying 'I love you' or 'I Miss You' is too dramatic for a couple who has already known each other for a long time.
Guess, love is not just based on romantic gestures anymore, it is how he is willing to take on his responsibility as a husband and the way he plays his role as a husband..
2) Is marriage really the tombstone of love and romance?
3) Does it mean that a romantic husband is a drama husband?
Well... this is the theory of my husband whom I have known for 8years and married for 2 years... He is so unromantic and even has forgotten how he proposed to me on 10 Sept 2005. He calls that wu liao. He says holding the customary marriage is just another step after ROM. He states that saying 'I love you' or 'I Miss You' is too dramatic for a couple who has already known each other for a long time.
Guess, love is not just based on romantic gestures anymore, it is how he is willing to take on his responsibility as a husband and the way he plays his role as a husband..
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Shopping Spree
Went down town in search of Baku's wedding shoes. Not an easy feat as we have to find a shoe for him to match our height and he has to be taller than me on our wedding day. We finally found a pair of 9cm heel shoe for him down this shop called 'Walking Tall'. So for once, he will be taller than me... LOLx.
Next stop was Raffles City, where I went to admire Coach bags... Expensive ok? SGD 600+ for just one bag. Haiz... branded stuff mah... Must get one when my bonus comes at the end of the year...
After Raffles City was Suntec City, where I found Carlo Rino key-chain in the shape of a key and lock. Guess how much it cost? SGD 8 after discount!!! Yipee!!! At Suntec City, I did a custom-made anklet with blue and white swarovski crystal which cost nearly SGD 50 (paid by Baku.) We also watched 'Journey To The Center Of The Earth'.
Popped over to Marina Square for dinner at Kenny Rogers and ice cream at Azaku Japanese Restaurant.
Fulfilling day... Nice to shop around when someone pays... Keke...
Next stop was Raffles City, where I went to admire Coach bags... Expensive ok? SGD 600+ for just one bag. Haiz... branded stuff mah... Must get one when my bonus comes at the end of the year...
After Raffles City was Suntec City, where I found Carlo Rino key-chain in the shape of a key and lock. Guess how much it cost? SGD 8 after discount!!! Yipee!!! At Suntec City, I did a custom-made anklet with blue and white swarovski crystal which cost nearly SGD 50 (paid by Baku.) We also watched 'Journey To The Center Of The Earth'.
Popped over to Marina Square for dinner at Kenny Rogers and ice cream at Azaku Japanese Restaurant.
Fulfilling day... Nice to shop around when someone pays... Keke...
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Miss TPSS Days...
My parents has left for USA yesterday and I am left to enjoy my own home alone. Yes, alone! Don't get mistaken, I didn't argue with my husband, just that I feel like spending my time alone in my own home with no one to disturb me. I want to enjoy myself with the freedom to do whatever I like, whenever I please.
Yesterday was 080808 but nothing special happened to me. Maybe just one- I passed my 3mths long Gynae-oncology course! Now I have moved on to research course...
Anyway, back to my solitude lifestyle for the past 2 days. I was on the net, surfing around and listening to some back to the school days songs and watching the Beijing Olympic openings. While I was listening to those good old school days song, it of course reminded of my secondary days. The carefree-ness to enjoy myself with friends. The art of 'pontang-ing' during the last few weeks of school before the 'O' levels, the comparing of dishes we prepared with my close friends, the Seoul Garden buffet every Friday after school, the crushes and crushees relationship, the innnocence of one-sided love for someone whom in the end left the school when he was in Sec 3, the joy of playing with my friends along the corridor in between classes, singing aloud like mad girls with my 2 'sisters', snapping of neo-cards plus neo-prints and going home together with one of 'sisters'. Really missed those times when life wasn't full of challenges and much politics. Come to think to it, in those days, I had wished that I would grow up faster to earn my own bucks and enjoy spending the bucks I earn without answering to my parents for what I had spent their money on, lastly to enjoy independence and freedom from my parents' crutches. Now I am everything I had wished for when I was a teenager and now I miss those years. It is so ironic, isn't it? LOL...
Life is such full of uncertainities. I never thought myself to commit my future happiness to a guy at the age of 23. I never thought I would love someone so much to compromise so much of my flaws just to accomodate to him. I never thought I could tolerate so much nonsence and unhappiness in the name of L-O-V-E. I never knew myself to even fall in love with him in the first place and even love him enough to marry him. Anyway, now I am already legally married and next year going to marry him in our customarily, I just pray that this marriage lasts with faithness and happiness until the day one of us leaves this world.
Yesterday was 080808 but nothing special happened to me. Maybe just one- I passed my 3mths long Gynae-oncology course! Now I have moved on to research course...
Anyway, back to my solitude lifestyle for the past 2 days. I was on the net, surfing around and listening to some back to the school days songs and watching the Beijing Olympic openings. While I was listening to those good old school days song, it of course reminded of my secondary days. The carefree-ness to enjoy myself with friends. The art of 'pontang-ing' during the last few weeks of school before the 'O' levels, the comparing of dishes we prepared with my close friends, the Seoul Garden buffet every Friday after school, the crushes and crushees relationship, the innnocence of one-sided love for someone whom in the end left the school when he was in Sec 3, the joy of playing with my friends along the corridor in between classes, singing aloud like mad girls with my 2 'sisters', snapping of neo-cards plus neo-prints and going home together with one of 'sisters'. Really missed those times when life wasn't full of challenges and much politics. Come to think to it, in those days, I had wished that I would grow up faster to earn my own bucks and enjoy spending the bucks I earn without answering to my parents for what I had spent their money on, lastly to enjoy independence and freedom from my parents' crutches. Now I am everything I had wished for when I was a teenager and now I miss those years. It is so ironic, isn't it? LOL...
Life is such full of uncertainities. I never thought myself to commit my future happiness to a guy at the age of 23. I never thought I would love someone so much to compromise so much of my flaws just to accomodate to him. I never thought I could tolerate so much nonsence and unhappiness in the name of L-O-V-E. I never knew myself to even fall in love with him in the first place and even love him enough to marry him. Anyway, now I am already legally married and next year going to marry him in our customarily, I just pray that this marriage lasts with faithness and happiness until the day one of us leaves this world.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
What Is A Nurse?
She's such a special person,
She's an angel in disguise,
With tenderness in every touch
And caring in her eyes.
She's the one who'll sit beside you
To talk away our fears,
She'll soothe your spirit, warm your heart,
And wipe away your tears.
She'll comfort you, look out for you
With true concern and care.
And when you need a helping hand,
YOu know you'll find her there.
She cares for all her patients.
With true expertise and pride,
Her warmth and dedication
Come from way down deep inside.
A nurse is a professional
Who goes the extra mile...
What is a Nurse?
A little bit of heaven... with a smile
LINDA LEE ELROD
She's an angel in disguise,
With tenderness in every touch
And caring in her eyes.
She's the one who'll sit beside you
To talk away our fears,
She'll soothe your spirit, warm your heart,
And wipe away your tears.
She'll comfort you, look out for you
With true concern and care.
And when you need a helping hand,
YOu know you'll find her there.
She cares for all her patients.
With true expertise and pride,
Her warmth and dedication
Come from way down deep inside.
A nurse is a professional
Who goes the extra mile...
What is a Nurse?
A little bit of heaven... with a smile
LINDA LEE ELROD
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
My Creation
This was my idea and creation in welcoming the start of the 7th lunar month aka Hungry Ghost month... Just coincidentally, the same day is Nurses' Day... Haha... Talk about being white clothed angels.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
It's Confirmed!
WEDDING DINNER OF JEFF & AMELIA
DATE: 10 MAY 2009
VENUE: ORCHID COUNTRY CLUB (SAPPHIRE SUITE)
PS~ As the wedding would be a personal, small event, thus, only a few lucky close friends of mine would be invited... Those who ain't invited please don't be too angry with me ok? :p
DATE: 10 MAY 2009
VENUE: ORCHID COUNTRY CLUB (SAPPHIRE SUITE)
PS~ As the wedding would be a personal, small event, thus, only a few lucky close friends of mine would be invited... Those who ain't invited please don't be too angry with me ok? :p
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Contemplations...
Just yesterday I was wondering if I could be excused from the wedding of my brother in law and that china woman. I was torn between choices of going and not going. I didn't want to attend the wedding due to my dislike of her, her awful character, her cockiness and the way she does things around the house. I felt that if I was going to attend their wedding, it was like I was approving and giving them well wishes which is so not!
Yet, if I do not attend the wedding, it may make my in laws lose face and subject them to nasty gossips. I don't want that either...
Today, I receive news that the wedding dinner is off as my brother in law said he didn't have so much spare cash to spend. So the wedding would just be ROM and wedding dinner in China... So thankful for that. At least, I know I need not fret over my attendance at the wedding dinner in Singapore anymore. Thank God.
They seem quiet in the house now. My husband says that possibly they had an argument. I guess so too, as normally they are full of activities and noisy, doing packing of their room and even going out as that china woman doesn't like staying at home. But today, no noise from them, not even a single squeak from her, which is unusual.
Well, if they really had an argument, I am not really bothered. I just hope the wedding dinner is called off for good.
Yet, if I do not attend the wedding, it may make my in laws lose face and subject them to nasty gossips. I don't want that either...
Today, I receive news that the wedding dinner is off as my brother in law said he didn't have so much spare cash to spend. So the wedding would just be ROM and wedding dinner in China... So thankful for that. At least, I know I need not fret over my attendance at the wedding dinner in Singapore anymore. Thank God.
They seem quiet in the house now. My husband says that possibly they had an argument. I guess so too, as normally they are full of activities and noisy, doing packing of their room and even going out as that china woman doesn't like staying at home. But today, no noise from them, not even a single squeak from her, which is unusual.
Well, if they really had an argument, I am not really bothered. I just hope the wedding dinner is called off for good.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wedding Shoes
Finally I've found my wedding shoes! Hurray! Now is his turn to get his shoes to match my height...
Saturday, July 19, 2008
No Hope Again
Applications for Punggol Breeze closed at 5pm on 14 July. 913 applications were received for 778 4-rooms flats offered and 643 applications were received for 186 5-rooms flats offered.
Haiz... there goes the dream of getting a house of our own again. Not sure why nowadays, so hard to get a HDB flat... Somehow government is reporting that less people want to get married. Sounds like bull-shit to me lor. Even Punggol Sapphire is near the haunted Matilda House is so popular and the letter from HDB states we will only get the chance to choose the reminder 'unwanted' units left after the 1st slot of successful applicants is finished.
Anyway, the results for Punggol Breeze will only be out in Sept. But looks like no hope again... *sigh*
Haiz... there goes the dream of getting a house of our own again. Not sure why nowadays, so hard to get a HDB flat... Somehow government is reporting that less people want to get married. Sounds like bull-shit to me lor. Even Punggol Sapphire is near the haunted Matilda House is so popular and the letter from HDB states we will only get the chance to choose the reminder 'unwanted' units left after the 1st slot of successful applicants is finished.
Anyway, the results for Punggol Breeze will only be out in Sept. But looks like no hope again... *sigh*
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Husband & Wife Phone
We bought new mobile phones, which has touch screen function like a PDA... Guess which one is mine? (See what how many people or friends really do know me and my taste...)
Monday, July 14, 2008
It Is Confirmed!
Nightmare come true...
http://app.rom.gov.sg/internet/emas/rom_emas_record.asp?varNoticeNo=IF101184443944944
Your search criteria is by :
Name : TENG LIN
Date of Birth (dd/mm/yyyy) : 03/01/1981
Record details are given below. This service is complimentary for “viewing” only.
Date of Notice (dd/mm/yyyy) 14/06/2008
Name (as per NRIC/Passport): NG PUAY LIM + TENG LIN
Date of Birth (mm/yyyy): 09/1976 + 01/1981
Address: RIVERVALE DRIVE + CHINA
http://app.rom.gov.sg/internet/emas/rom_emas_record.asp?varNoticeNo=IF101184443944944
Your search criteria is by :
Name : TENG LIN
Date of Birth (dd/mm/yyyy) : 03/01/1981
Record details are given below. This service is complimentary for “viewing” only.
Date of Notice (dd/mm/yyyy) 14/06/2008
Name (as per NRIC/Passport): NG PUAY LIM + TENG LIN
Date of Birth (mm/yyyy): 09/1976 + 01/1981
Address: RIVERVALE DRIVE + CHINA
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Who Is Better Looking...
My husband says Yutaka is better looking while I find Takashi better... U decide!
Monday, July 7, 2008
More Than Words
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
PS: If guys knows this simple logic, the woman don't need to be un-neccesarily misunderstood as being diffifult and cranky.
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
PS: If guys knows this simple logic, the woman don't need to be un-neccesarily misunderstood as being diffifult and cranky.
He'll Make Me Happy
He'll make me happy
Each time I see him
He'll be the reason
My heart can sing
He'll stand beside me
And now I'm everything.
I only know
He'll make me happy
That's all I need...to...know...
Each time I see him
He'll be the reason
My heart can sing
He'll stand beside me
And now I'm everything.
I only know
He'll make me happy
That's all I need...to...know...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
2 Movies
Watched these two movies over the span of Friday and Saturday. Wanted was watched at Grand Cathy and Hancock was watched at Eng Wah down Suntec. Both shows are very exaggerated. However, I somehow love that Angelina Jolie show of coolness, that facial expression of a tigeress but yet maintaining that beauty. She is one beauty! Plus, all that 'fake' tattoo on her arms and body...
Anyway, still in search of my wedding shoes. Found one but still want one more... Haha, one for wedding gown and the other for evening gown. Very hard to find shoes, especially when I am big and broad footed.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wedding Prayer
Lord bless this happy moment…
With the finest grace and love……
Make it stronger every year…
This is your Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
Our two hearts deserve the best…
That’s how it will always be…
Let your spirits prosper forever…
With every treasured memory…
God’s warmth will always guide us…
To be faithful and true……
In whatever path we choose…
And with everything we do…
Now a thought to seal the promise…
On the sacred vow we’ve made…
For the precious life we’ll share…
With this Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
And this cherished blessing…
Forever will be there…
As we smile and hear two lovers…
Say our Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
With the finest grace and love……
Make it stronger every year…
This is your Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
Our two hearts deserve the best…
That’s how it will always be…
Let your spirits prosper forever…
With every treasured memory…
God’s warmth will always guide us…
To be faithful and true……
In whatever path we choose…
And with everything we do…
Now a thought to seal the promise…
On the sacred vow we’ve made…
For the precious life we’ll share…
With this Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
And this cherished blessing…
Forever will be there…
As we smile and hear two lovers…
Say our Wondrous Wedding Prayer…
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Choosing Wedding Gown
Went for gown choosing yesterday and finally settled all my gown stuff. Spent 4hrs at the bridal shop trying the gowns to see what colour and design suits me. Finally settled for a silverish-grey evening shop with a halter design and my wedding gown would be an ivory bustier.
Groom would be weaing white for the morning and black for evening...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day
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My gift to my dad for Father's Day 2008. DIY Butter Crab with Egg White... Glad that he enjoyed it!
PS: Happy Birthday to someone out there... (I know he will never be reading this post but I still wanna send my birthday wishes to him as a friend.)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Punggol Sapphire <-- Eerie
Hubby and I had recently applied through HDB this new flat. Thought that we had a good deal and was happy to have applied for this flat.
However, after visiting the place with Josephine today, I realized one very scary point to this place: it is near what is known as Matlida House aka Punggol White House. Go to the internet and you would be able to find out why it is a scary fact...
Anyway, afer much discussion with Hubby and research done online checking out the plot of land and the well known, Matilda House, we have decided that we would still go ahead with this flat even though of the 'bad' location as I feel that as long as our flat or future house don't face the Matilda House, we will be ok and won't be affect by it. At most, we will do the necessary precautions and rituals to cleanse the house before we move in. We have also realized that actually government has also done their necessary precautions as to built a Chinese Temple, Church and a Hindu Temple to counteract as well as to protect the area. Hopefully it will work.
Will know of the balloting results for Punggol Sapphire by mid July. Three thousand odd people balloting for one thousand plus units of flat only... Wish us luck...
Monday, June 9, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Miserable...
Can someone help me? I need someone to offer me some sound advice how to deal with this arrogant, noisy, self-centred china woman who shares the place where I call home?
Now my brother in law has made final plans with her for their upcoming wedding in September, she is getting more cocky thinking she is the princess now. I understand my brother in law has no choice but to marry as he has already promised her parents to marry their daughter and moreover, this woman is his boss's wife's niece, thus his livlihood and bonus is dependent on her indirectly. Although, he has secretly verbalized his difficulties with my mum in law but he still feels that since everything has been planned and due to his job stability, he wants to go through the marriage.
The point is as much as I pity him, I also cannot stand how this woman is behaving like as if she is the queen and trying to prove herself to be more capable as a daughter in law than me. She cooks for my mum in law ('cause she has nothing to do whole day at home), she spends most of her time (when my brother in law ain't home yet) to sit down and chat with my mum in law loudly as if for the whole block to hear their conversation, lastly, her arrogant look on her face is getting on my face like as telling me ' I am better off than you'.
I am pretty much fed up with her but yet, I don't wish to do anything evil, cruel or bad to her. I don't want to sin because of this woman. Not worth it! But she is getting on my nerve, especially now with my husband in reservist, she is making my blood boil everytime I see her...
How? What should I do about her, bearing in mind she is now the queen and everyone in this family is being extremely supportive and in favour of her as my brother in law's life depends greatly on her??
Now my brother in law has made final plans with her for their upcoming wedding in September, she is getting more cocky thinking she is the princess now. I understand my brother in law has no choice but to marry as he has already promised her parents to marry their daughter and moreover, this woman is his boss's wife's niece, thus his livlihood and bonus is dependent on her indirectly. Although, he has secretly verbalized his difficulties with my mum in law but he still feels that since everything has been planned and due to his job stability, he wants to go through the marriage.
The point is as much as I pity him, I also cannot stand how this woman is behaving like as if she is the queen and trying to prove herself to be more capable as a daughter in law than me. She cooks for my mum in law ('cause she has nothing to do whole day at home), she spends most of her time (when my brother in law ain't home yet) to sit down and chat with my mum in law loudly as if for the whole block to hear their conversation, lastly, her arrogant look on her face is getting on my face like as telling me ' I am better off than you'.
I am pretty much fed up with her but yet, I don't wish to do anything evil, cruel or bad to her. I don't want to sin because of this woman. Not worth it! But she is getting on my nerve, especially now with my husband in reservist, she is making my blood boil everytime I see her...
How? What should I do about her, bearing in mind she is now the queen and everyone in this family is being extremely supportive and in favour of her as my brother in law's life depends greatly on her??
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Week Of Ups & Downs
Monday- Was backstabbed by my preceptor
Tuesday- Uneventful
Wednesday- Josephine (patient cum friend) has finally completed her chemotherapy and can proceed with all her wedding preparations. Happy for her!
Thursday- We informed that my patient cum close friend has succumbed to cancer and had passed away. It was said that she didn't want to leave. I understood... She had unfulfilled dreams and unfulfilled things to done. Her mum said she was gasping for breath, unwilling to go until her mum had to promise her to take care of her husband after she passes away...
Friday- Managed to get half day off and went to Raffles Hospital to find Shuting. After that went to IMM to find Josephine and had dinner at Sakae Sushi (J8) with her.
Saturday- GSS day and went shopping with my mum-in law. Damages of around $100. Bought a dress, a pair of Ripple slippers, brief for my hubby and lunch with starbucks coffee...
Lastly... that China woman would be back tomorrow 5am and my mother in law said she had decided to move the whole China with her as for her luggages alone, a lorry has to be driven to Changi Airport to bring the stuff back. The home would be a dumpster and like a karang-guni home from tomorrow onwards. My peace and quiet is once again invaded with that China woman. Shit!
Tuesday- Uneventful
Wednesday- Josephine (patient cum friend) has finally completed her chemotherapy and can proceed with all her wedding preparations. Happy for her!
Thursday- We informed that my patient cum close friend has succumbed to cancer and had passed away. It was said that she didn't want to leave. I understood... She had unfulfilled dreams and unfulfilled things to done. Her mum said she was gasping for breath, unwilling to go until her mum had to promise her to take care of her husband after she passes away...
Friday- Managed to get half day off and went to Raffles Hospital to find Shuting. After that went to IMM to find Josephine and had dinner at Sakae Sushi (J8) with her.
Saturday- GSS day and went shopping with my mum-in law. Damages of around $100. Bought a dress, a pair of Ripple slippers, brief for my hubby and lunch with starbucks coffee...
Lastly... that China woman would be back tomorrow 5am and my mother in law said she had decided to move the whole China with her as for her luggages alone, a lorry has to be driven to Changi Airport to bring the stuff back. The home would be a dumpster and like a karang-guni home from tomorrow onwards. My peace and quiet is once again invaded with that China woman. Shit!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
R.I.P and will miss your great personality...
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Backstabber
Today at work, I was almost backstabbed by my preceptor right in front of my nose and with my manager around... Kaoz... Damn't bloody pissed off! Dare to accuse me when the fault didn't lie with me in the first place.
My preceptor signed for an injection see didn't give as the patient would only come for the injection on 14 July. But she had signed for it like as if it was given. Thus, my manager came to know about it and questioned her about it. I was also called in for explanation as my name and signature was also on the medication record sheet. (It is a common and a must for all medications given to be checked and signed by 2 nurses. The one who signs on the top column is the one who administers the medication, the one who signs on the bottom column is the one who has checked that the right drug was given.)
So my manager was asking the both of us what happened and how the mistake was made. I explained that I had checked the medication but did not see and hear whom she had administered the injection to as I was busy with my own patient. My preceptor kept quiet and only muttered some insignificant words.
After my manager emphasize the seriousness of the event and requested for an incident report, the conversation followed:
Preceptor: Amelia, I thought you gave the medication and I just signed it for you.
Me (shocked): No, I did not give the medication.
Preceptor: No, you gave the medication and signed the wrong column so I just sign it on the top column. See, you even written the batch number of the injection and labelled the medication form.
Me (pissed and angry): I wrote the form and the batch number for you 'cause you didn't write them down and it is required to be all properly filled up.
Preceptor: Aiyah, I don't know lah!
Me (totally pissed and loss for words: ...
I think my manager could sense my firmness in maintaining my stand in this case that I was not the one who made the mistake and my preceptor had to be the one who write the incident report.
However, I am very shocked as well as pissed at how my preceptor for trying to push the blame to me for something that was actually her fault. This is how some people can be when they need to cover their ass and safeguard themselves. How evil! Luckily, I am firm and fast to react, otherwise, I would be the one in hot soup now...
For the past few weeks, my preceptor has been making many serious mistakes:
1) Taking blood for extra tests wrongly and charging patient extra money for the test.
2) Administering the chemotherapy for a patient is not supposed to be recieving chemotherapy due to low blood counts.
3) Setting the cannula for a patient improperly and causing the patient to get extravasation.
She is obviously not concentrating on her work...
My preceptor signed for an injection see didn't give as the patient would only come for the injection on 14 July. But she had signed for it like as if it was given. Thus, my manager came to know about it and questioned her about it. I was also called in for explanation as my name and signature was also on the medication record sheet. (It is a common and a must for all medications given to be checked and signed by 2 nurses. The one who signs on the top column is the one who administers the medication, the one who signs on the bottom column is the one who has checked that the right drug was given.)
So my manager was asking the both of us what happened and how the mistake was made. I explained that I had checked the medication but did not see and hear whom she had administered the injection to as I was busy with my own patient. My preceptor kept quiet and only muttered some insignificant words.
After my manager emphasize the seriousness of the event and requested for an incident report, the conversation followed:
Preceptor: Amelia, I thought you gave the medication and I just signed it for you.
Me (shocked): No, I did not give the medication.
Preceptor: No, you gave the medication and signed the wrong column so I just sign it on the top column. See, you even written the batch number of the injection and labelled the medication form.
Me (pissed and angry): I wrote the form and the batch number for you 'cause you didn't write them down and it is required to be all properly filled up.
Preceptor: Aiyah, I don't know lah!
Me (totally pissed and loss for words: ...
I think my manager could sense my firmness in maintaining my stand in this case that I was not the one who made the mistake and my preceptor had to be the one who write the incident report.
However, I am very shocked as well as pissed at how my preceptor for trying to push the blame to me for something that was actually her fault. This is how some people can be when they need to cover their ass and safeguard themselves. How evil! Luckily, I am firm and fast to react, otherwise, I would be the one in hot soup now...
For the past few weeks, my preceptor has been making many serious mistakes:
1) Taking blood for extra tests wrongly and charging patient extra money for the test.
2) Administering the chemotherapy for a patient is not supposed to be recieving chemotherapy due to low blood counts.
3) Setting the cannula for a patient improperly and causing the patient to get extravasation.
She is obviously not concentrating on her work...
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Maid Of Honour
Watched it last night. Not bad! Brings to thinking that when it comes to love, every woman does have somehow the same desire: to marry someone whom she can trust, someone who loves her, someone who would be there when she is down, a confidante.
In love, I rather be the receiver but too bad, in this marriage, I am the giver... Until the day I have nothing else left to give, it would be a sign for me to back out and leave...
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Back At Last
I am back at last... Happy to be back as I think I am more used to a civilized and orderly society than in China. But I know I will miss the beautiful sceneries and cooling weather...
Day 1: Singapore - Shanghai (Pudong) - Wuxi
Day 2: Wuxi Rural Area
Day 3: Wuxi Town Area
Day 4: Wuxi - Yixin
Day 5: Wuxi - Nanjing
Day 6: Wuxi- Shanghai
Day 7: Wuxi (Karaoke and Fishing)
Day 8: Wuxi- Shanghai (Pudong) - Singapore
Have uploaded the pictures at my multiply website... www.mintger.multiply.com
I have left Singapore 24 years old and came back 25 years old... 5 years more to hitting the dreaded 30years old as it is said that a woman's life, health and beauty will decline from then on...
Thursday, May 8, 2008
My Virgin Blood Donation Experience
Aint as painful as I thought...
May try to go for it frequently...
Hahaha...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
10 May 2008
- supposed to be mine original customary wedding date but... haiz...
- my 8years knowing him anniversary
- marks 2 years of being his wife
- my mei mei's bf's birthday
- the day I fly off to Wuxi with my dad
Until now, it seemes like those who quite know me has already guessed why I chose to fly off on 10 May 2008 and decide to celebrate my birthday there. Only Him... Haiz...
Friday, May 2, 2008
Dinner @ Conrad Hotel
Had an evening symposium held at Conrad Centennial Hotel. Had lots of gd food though the dinner only started at 8.30pm!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Early Birthday Celebration
My husband decided to give me an early birthday treat as I won't be around in Singapore during my birthday period.
Had Punggol Seafood and the standard has dropped since the last time we had our dinner there in Dec 2007.
Anyway, my marriage is still in deep jeopardy, he ain't talking about any marriage plans for next year or even getting intimate with me. So sad...
By the way, my brother in law and that prc woman is really getting married this year... double, triple sianz... I am not in the mood to attend any weddings this year especially if it is a wedding of the person/people I don't fancy at all... Wonder if I can be excused from this event... Haiz....
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Long But Fun Day
Last evening 7pm until 3am was spent with two friends of mine whom I haven't manage to meet up for a long long time...
First was my close friend cum 'mei-mei', Vanessa, who is busy with her school life and BGR life to meet up. Thankfully, she managed to squeeze some of her time out from studying for her exams to meet up for dinner at Coffee Club located at White Sands. We had some pastas and mud pie for dessert. Nice! We chit chatted about updates in our life, shared some old memories and 'gossiped' about our other 'mei-mei' in Melbourne who simply refused to come back to Singapore yet. (LOL, CW if you are reading this, hint hint eh...) After dinner, we walked back to her house and I lingered in her house to go through our old TPSS year books to update each other on who's married, have kids and so on... We were also reminising on how much of fun we had back in those days together with my other mei-mei and how our lives have moved on to different paths. I am so glad to have these two buds from TPSS, 11yrs of friendship and more to come...
After meet up with Vanessa, I caught the train from Pasir Ris to Raffles Place to meet up with my RGPS good friend. She knocks off from work only at 12mn as she works in a London bank, thus, the banking timings are to follow the London working hours, which is 3pm to 12mn.
Met her 12.30am at Lau Pa Sat and took a cab down to Jewel Box (Mount Faber) for a chill out chit chat session. The Jewel Box has changed a lot since I last went there 2 years back. It is more condusive and more beautiful with the bar overlooking Sentosa. Such a amazing scene, especially at night, stars glazing down and nice breeze while enjoying music, drinks and food overlooking at the light-up at Sentosa.
We had two cocktails each and Calamari Rings. I had my Grasshopper and Peach Margarita while she had her Long Island Tea and Lychee Martini.
Left the place at around 2.30am and took a cab back. Back home, I bathed and K.O freaking tiredly at around 3am. Although I was tired by I was contented and happy to have met up with my close friends from my Primary and Secondary school life.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
After 2 weeks Under My Care
Name: 肥 猫 aka fatty cat (although she is not a cat)
Presenting my hamster after two weeks under my care. She indirectly bullied her other companion and caused her to die of fractured leg. Now she is housed seperately in a cage and I have bought a new hamster, which is a Pearl White Dwarf Hamster.
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