What Is Jealousy???

Definition 1:
Jealousy is about real or imagined fears--fear of abandonment, fear of loss of love, fear of being dishonored in the relationship, fear of being shamed in the community, unresolved issues from past relationships, lack issues, poor self esteem, cover or mask for things from the past that you haven't healed yet, vindictive or a desire for revenge that is misguided or misdirected toward someone else.

When jealous feelings come up, it's usually because we're afraid that we won't get our needs of one kind or another met. It's been our experience that when jealousy comes up, somewhere within us, we are crying out for help.

Jealousy usually seems to result from a couple of different scenarios:

There is "proof" or at least a strong suspicion that agreements and commitments between two people have actually been broken by one of them or …

It shows up when one person or both people in the relationship are very insecure in their relationship or in life. Jealous feelings come up with a partner, or others, whose actions haven't warranted it.

Definition 2:
Jealousy is a "complex reaction" because it involves such a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviours.

Emotions - pain, anger, rage, sadness, envy, fear, grief, humiliation.
Thoughts - resentment, blame, comparison with the rival, worry about image, self-pity.
Behaviours - feeling faint, trembling and sweating, constant questioning and seeking reassurance, aggressive actions, even violence.



However, I am defined as immatured and childish when I am plagued with jealousy. I was even told that I don't have the rights to be jealous... Crap!