Divorce On The Way

Had a major arguement with my husband (or perhaps, ex-husband to be) and even fought it out with him. All thanks to his verbal abuse and insults to my self esteem that contributed to him getting few slaps across his face from me. If I had not counted wrongly, it would be around 5-7 slaps.
Tonight, we will be talking it out with my parents to see the fate of my marriage.
Actually was thinking that if we really do divorce. It could also be a kind of blessing for me:
- I can go back to my own singlehood life
- I regain my freedom to do whatever I want and like
- I can go back to my cigarettes
- I can go clubbing and drinking of cocktails with my friends
- I need not tolerate his sister in law from China
- I can shake off my responsibility as a wife to wash, iron his clothes as well as try my best to accomodate to his dinner 'menu'.
- I need not worry if I would offend him anymore
- All my worries about the marriage ending one day would be over...

In fact, at this moment in time, I am kind of looking forward to his decision to divorce and hopefully, my parents would be on my side. Life would be much better I guess. But who knows, perhaps when that decision is made, tears may roll down my face again in the silence of the night when I am alone in my own room or whenever I see happy, romantic couples.

In the meantime, let nature takes it course until the finally decision is being made.

Just a part of a song I heard today which reminds me of I will might feel once the decision is made:
Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
And even though I really I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time