Is It Possible To Remain As Friends After Divorce?

In 2006, after 6 years of courtship, I had thought that I had found my one true love and decided to agree to giving my hand in marriage to him, thinking that he is as much in love with me as I was with him. 6 years later, the marriage ended with a divorce. Sadly in this current era, divorce is a common reality. Couples are more willing to throw their break down in marriage out the window more easily nowadays than to fix it. Lesser and lesser people are honouring their wedding vows.

For the past 2 days, I begin to wonder if it was possible for me to remain as friends with him, forgiving him for hurting me and betraying my trust that he would love me until the end of time? I wondered if I was friends would him, would I be able to accept news in future when he has found someone new and even be able to attend his wedding if he does invite me by then? I wondered if I could even go out with him for a simple dinner or movie as a platonic friend without feeling the hurt of lost love between us?

Personally, I feel that I have forgiven him and is ready to move on with my life, with or without him as a friend. I wouldn't mind him as a friend also. Afterall, 12 years of relationship together, I doubt I would also be able to get him off my mind and the happy memories we had shared would still always be lingering on my mind forever. If we can't be husband & wife, boyfriend & girlfriend, we could might as well as be just friends, without any commitments or responsibilities to one another. I even feel that if one day I ever found out that he is seeing someone new, getting married or even invites me to their wedding, I would gladly oblige and be able to attend it without any hint of jealousy or hurt.

However, I know he wouldn't be able to do the same. I know he is also somehow hurting deep down inside that this relationship had to end in a divorce although he is the one who opted and suggested for divorce, it is just that he is too prideful and egoistic to admit it to anyone and even me (duh?). He is also unable to handle this friendship as he may not be able to accept this brand new, all natural me: more confident, more self-centred and much more out-spoken than before. For all I know, he has probably also found someone new and is unable to keep in contact with me, for fear that the new girlfriend would be jealous and sensitive. Most importantly, I doubt he is mature enough to accept me as a friend after divorce.

Hence, I totally respect his request for me to totally get out of his life and allow him to move on, just like Ivan, who couldn't accept my decision to get ROM 6 years ago. Guess, the guys I dated will never be matured enough to remain friends after a break-up or divorce. Period.