Through these years, my dad had always enforced on the difference between 'able to do something and refusal to do it' and 'unable to do something despite trying very hard to get it done'. However, I only witness and agree to this theory recently.
My ex-husband had me and had everything possible to maintain a happy + blissful marriage. But he chose to give it up for singlehood and selfishness. He had the perfect health to do almost anything and everything he wants, yet he chose to destroy it by being a passive smoker and drinking beer with his pals cum 'bros'. He had a woman who was willing to go through thick and thin with him, even bow down to his egoistic mannerisms, especially during times of arguments and yet he chose give her up as he couldn't see all her good points.
My fiance on the hand isnt that privileged to have a divorcee as his fiancee, especially when I am more defensive and sensitive towards any changes in attitude or behaviour, however, he understands it and puts in all possible effort to maintain this relationship, reinforces my trust in him, using practical actions to win me back after any disagreements. He also puts in effort to build a future with me, works hard to assure that I would have a better future with him. Although, his skin abnormality hinders him due to social stigma, I can still he tries his best to overcome the odds and face it bravely. His path in life hasnt been easy but he doesn't give up, instead, he finds way to work things out maturely.
My close pal also faces something similar in her fiance. Her fiance is able to give her the bliss she desires but he is unwilling to do so due to selfish reasons and because he was inculcated from young to be independent as well as self-centred. However, he is willing to self-reflect on his mistakes and at least, tries for short period of time to improve, only to revert back to the same behaviour soon enough. However, due to the essense of love still present in the both of them, the relationship is still working out quite fine.
As for me, I adopted an attitude to try my best only if that certain thing or someone is worth my effort. I am not gonna be the same submissive woman I was 2 years back. Sorry, once bitten twice shy. If you cheat me the first time , shame on you, however if you cheat me the second time, shame on me. That is why I say my fiance is unfortunate. If he had met me 12 years ago and married me then, he would have the fortune of marrying a good wife. Then again, if he met me 12 years ago, would I have the same maturity as I have now, to look beyond his skin abnormality and fell in love with him? Good question, eh? And, if I had met him 12 years back, did he have the same mature attitude as he has now?
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