Finally December Comes

One more month before 2012 ends...

My avid blog followers would know that 2012 wasn't a good year for me and it was filled with more tribulations than joy.

According to the Mayan calendar, the world will end on 21/12/2012.

Actually, at this point of time, I don't really care when the apocalypse would be, as my life is as mundane as it should be and I don't fear death as much as I used to. I have done the best I could in life and lead the my life with sheer determination for success but in the end, I failed. I trusted the wrong people in life, made many wrong moves and decisions and suffered the consequences of them. I also don't mind meeting my granny who had passsed on nearly a year ago. I miss her lots.

No, I am suicidal but what I am trying to say is that I don't fear death as I did years ago. But, I am hoping death also. Let nature takes its own course. If the world was to end on 21/12/2012, I would have no regrets nor anything to feel much regretful for. Maybe, it is a pity that I would have to miss my Manado spa trip.

Anyway, I have no achievements this year. I made no progress this year. So 2012 is not a year that I wanna brag about, neither evaluate positively. All I know is that 2012 was a sux year for me. Full of problems and depressing events that almost break me into pieces. However, thanks to all my close friends and family member, especially my parents, I 'survived' and 'moved on'. I also have to thank God for making me the woman I am: a woman who has a strong and stubborn character and one who can handle multiple stressors without crumbling down into pieces, wallowing in self-pity.
I managed to take a step back from it all and evaluate my own happiness vs forcing myself to be whom I wasn't naturally, of course, I see it clearly that my own happiness was more important than being trapped and falsely decieved that I was happy or would be happy.

Hence, if the world was to really end on 21/12/2012, I would just go and be dead. No regrets. No pain. Me, Myself and My Own World!