Love VS Like

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LOVE AND LIKE

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

Then person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.
You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye
And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like
All you need to do is cover your ears,
But if you try to close your eyes
Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.
Author Unknown

Heart Felt Words

I don't have nerves of steel, I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million tears but I wont drown
I let myself unfold, gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where I could see
And then you let go of me.

I was damaged by the fall, got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all I must be invincible
I thought that I would break but now I have come to see something strong and beautiful inside of me
I must be invincible

I dont have X-rays eyes, don't have a heart so wise
How could I have known you'd let me down
If I had known that then, with my eyes wide open, I still believe I would've risked it
There's no way i would've missed it

It's a blessing and a curse just you find out just what you're worth.

You say that you've always been true
Looking in your eyes I see you lied
You're trying hard to hide that there's someone new you found and you want me to believe that you still care

How can you hurt me this way?
Everything I knew was loving you
How could you try pretending your love was never ending, now you can't even say that you will stay

How, how could you say you love me, when you would go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
When I have loved you more than anyone can do
Can't believe the pain 'cause I'm feeling now because of loving you

I can't seem to understand how can love be so unkind
Still you broke my heart despite what I've done
Still my love was not enough though I've given you my all

Never thought I could devote and sacrifice so much when in love
Forgive me for loving you wrongly, should I have devoted all my love to the right guy in the first place.

Affirmative Right Decision Made

Was reading through my past blog posts since the start of this blog and realized how much pain I had been through as well as how many times I had desperately asked God to bless my marriage. As I read through the posts, I could recall my heart-wrenching experiences as I was typing those blog post, how helpless I felt, how much pain I had to endure just to make the marriage work, how much of disappointments I had undergone after the ROM and lastly, how much I devoted my love + faithfulness to him despite his 'incapability to perform sexually'.

Later today, I would be meeting him to collect the Writ of Divorce, which would end everything I have been through with him: 6 years of courtship + 6 years of marriage.

Mixed feelings though. A sense of liberty and freedom, a tinge of happiness due to ending my 'suffering' trying so hard to maintain this marriage throughout the 6 years, a bit of sadness that it has to end this way and that my prayers weren't answered, heart-ache cause I have wasted 12 years for nothing and lastly, a little disappointed that he didn't even bother to salvage this marriage at all.

With the Writ of Divorce, I am literally a free woman, not officially or in the eyes of the law. But good enough for me to know that the marriage is ending soon and I can officially move on to perhaps. better things in life. I am enjoying my life somehow since I left him. I found my own self back. I found my natural character back, less bitchy, less temperamental, less miserable, less self-restrained and much less immature. I found my natural confidence back to face the world. I learn to love and appreciate myself better too.

At least I know I have walked away from this whole failed marriage trying my best and giving it my ultimate best shot in maintaining it as well as living up to my marriage vows (he didn't obviously). I have also learnt my own tolerance/patience limit.

God just bless my broken road and the tedious road I would go through before dying. LONG LONG WAY to go...

R.I.P

AmeJeff
10 May 2000 - 13 April 2012
May The Love & Sacrifices Made Rest In Peace

Ox Man and Pig Woman Compatibility

As an Ox, you are the most dependable sign of the zodiac. You never quit, and you always succeed because you never accept an assignment or take on a task without thinking it through first. You are honest and straightforward, and don't understand or tolerate games in relationships. You are supportive, always ready to lend an ear to a friend in need, and give great advice that is well thought through.

As a partner, you are very dependable and reliable. Sometimes you may frustrate a romantic partner because you prefer schedules, routines, and rules to spontaneity. It's important for you to loosen up once in awhile and enjoy life with your partner. You prefer to work alone, so it's important that you make an effort to include your partner from time to time. You are not one for romantic gestures, as you'd rather show your love by helping your partner accomplish tasks or by doing things for her.

A Pig is a very good match for you. Pigs are also very honest and straightforward. Neither of you will try to play games with the other. Pigs are very innocent and trusting. They often get taken advantage of in relationships, so you will be a perfect partner for a Pig because you would never hurt her in this way. There will be no deceit whatsoever in this relationship.

Another area where the two of you are on the same wavelength is tenacity. Like you, a Pig will work steadily at a task until she accomplishes it. She also takes the same methodical approach in thinking things through before taking on a task. You will never have fights over one of you being impulsive, because it just won't happen! Of course, you must be careful, or the two of you will miss opportunities. Sometimes too much deliberation is a negative thing, and both of you will have to sometimes hurry your thinking process.

Pigs are far fonder of luxury and fine things than Oxen are, and you should realize that your Pig partner will be more inclined to spend money. Pigs enjoy spoiling themselves with pleasure, and female Pigs are likely to enjoy nice clothing and spa treatments. As an Ox, you may find this unnecessary, but as long as your Pig doesn't overindulge and blow the family budget, you should try to be understanding. Not everyone is as austere and content to work all the time as you are!

Overall, a Pig will make a fine match for you. She is honest and will not play games, values thorough planning, and isn't afraid to work hard. The two of you are likely to meet every goal you set, and have a stable home for raising children if you wish to do so. This is one of the happiest and drama free marriages in the zodiac.

PS: interesting piece of information for me to ponder on but sadly, the last time I checked, Goat and Pig were supposedly a matchmake in heaven. However, did the predictions come true? No. Only the predications for a potential divorce this year came true.

17 June 2012

Father's Day. Also the day I met the lawyer for the first time ever since the divorce proceedings.

Jeff,
- thanks for being more matured today
- thanks for being more sensitive and caring today
- thanks for the apology you offered, you are forgiven but the apology is also a bit too late if reconciliation is what you are looking for
- thanks for shielding me from the on-coming car, otherwise I would have been knocked down
- thanks for keeping your promises to 'sponsor' for the legal fees and transportation charges
- thanks for showing me the side of you I had been missing for the past 6 years.
- thanks for offering to lend your books for my upcoming assignment
- thanks for still keeping 'ilovebitto' as your password but I guess you would change it tonight
- thanks for being honest and telling me that you are not seriously ill, so I can walk away with a peace of mind


Goodbye to our relationship and marriage. The road to the end is just beginning and hopefully, it ends amicably and smoothly by the end of 2012.

10th of May

10th May, how I hope you can be erased from the calendar
10th May, how I wish I can forgot this date like nothing ever existed on this day...

10 May 2000: We were officially in a relationship
10 May 2006: We got ROM-ed
10 May 2009: We walked down the aisle
10 May 2012: I no longer belong him anymore

Dread this date... Hate this date...

2 Months Since I Left You

Dear Mr J.Ng,
today marks 2 months since we have decided to go our separate ways and file for a divorce. I seriously hope you are doing fine and I have already done my part as a nurse, acquaintance or ex-wife-to-be to advise you to see a doctor about your persistent cough.

I can see that you have more or less also moved on with your life. Perhaps, you have new aims or goal in life that doesn't include me or maybe you have met someone new. Whatever it is, please be happy and I wish you all the best.

I must thank you though. Thank you for showing me my tremendous amount of patience that can ever possess and also, much gratitude for letting me realize that love and hate is just a thin line away. Plus I am grateful for making me realize how much a submissive wife I can be and how much sacrifices I could ever make in the name of love.

I just wish you could expedite all divorce proceedings and 'free' me from all the legal bondage I have with you. Being associated with you for another day more really makes me cringe now and sadly, I don't harbor anymore good feelings for you. I would like to think the same for you, thus, I expect us to be no longer related by the end of 2012, as I wish to start 2013 anew.

Thanks and regards, me.

No Me Ames (Part 2)

Dear Mr J.Ng,
I met you today to collect back some of my stuff from you. I couldn't help but to notice that you are thinner, looking ill, coughing away badly and seemed to be quite badly ill.
While heeding your advise to search your room thoroughly to check if I had missed out anything else to bring back, I came across that you are still keeping our wedding photos, wedding album and wedding band in your cupboard.
However, you were persistently trying to show me that you didn't want me bothering you and you even hinted that you won't want to see me again unless necessary.

While listening to this song, No Me Ames, it kept me wondering that could you be down with some life-threatening illness or could you be suffering from some terminal illness like cancer, so in order to minimize my suffering, u r divorcing me and forcing me to leave you?
Bring trained as a nurse and with my observation skills, I feel that you have been coughing for too long.
13 April: You were coughing the night we argued.
A month ago: Before leaving my departure to Melbourne, you were still coughing
3 weeks ago: When I was back from Melbourne and the day we talked on the phone with regards to meeting your lawyer, you were also coughing away.
Today: You are coughing as badly.

Mr J.Ng, perhaps I am thinking too highly of you and maybe, maybe I am thinking too much into things...

Anyway, you do take care, wouldn't want to see you appear in the obituary page 6 months or a year from now. If you really think by forcing me away during your illness, would make me happier, then, you are wrong. I would be more angry with you to find out that you have misjudged me and the covenant of our marriage.

Regards,
Me.

Narcissistic

I remember a close friend, who had once asked me why I do have this habit of taking self pictures and posting online. At that moment, I answered her that probably it is due to a self-security issue.

Today, as I reflected on my pictures online, the reason for my narcissistic personality came into my mind.

I am narcissistic 'cause:
- yes, I love myself
- no, I don't think myself as pretty, just photogenic
- it reflects my true personality of self centredness
- it reflects my own mindset that I am actually a very selfish person, who only puts my own happiness and benefits in first priority before others
- it reflects my own need for appreciation from others and compensates the sense of insecurity I have been having after so much downfalls in my life
- it acts as a shield for my self-confidence
- it compensates for my weak and fragile personality
- it helps me to feel better about myself
- lastly, it proves to be healing for my broken heart

Read from an email sent by my aunt...

What is the marriage for if it has reached this unfriendly, problematic, and suspicious stage between two so-called husband and wife: who once sworn to love each other and die for each other.

In life please don’t be too naive to take love at ‘face’ value.

Love like weather, could change suddenly: if lucky into just a shower or light rain. If unfortunate, it will turn into heavy winds & storm, uprooting trees and cause fellow branches to block roads etc.

When there is no happiness in marriage, it is better to have it broken up and live life a new again. Even though one may try to patch a sour relationship up, it may work for only a short time. If each party still harbour suspicion, hate and little love for the other, it will go back to "bad" days like before.

As the saying goes, if old and useless things not thrown away, new things will not come into your life.

How true, that is why I have walked away, never to look back and reconsider the option that you may ask for reconciliation one day. Honey, it is too late. The moment that I landed in Melbourne and entered St Paul's church, you have died in my heart.

Just in case you need to know, yes, I have forgiven you for hurting me badly. That is why I simply won't be bothered to get agitated when you screamed or shouted at me. I am least affected by your mood changes anymore.

God bless you and your future.

梦醒了

可能 在愛裡面這樣算笨
Maybe this called stupidity when it comes to love
可能 永遠沒有所謂永恆
Maybe nothing would everlasting
但是我 不願放棄這裡面一點點可能 寧願笨也不想要悔恨
However, I am not giving up on the least glimpse of hope, rather be stupid than to live with regret
愛得太真 太容易 讓自己犧牲 太容易讓自己沉淪 太容易 不顧一切 滿是傷痕
When one love so deep, it is so easy to sacrifice oneself, easily allow oneself to sink deeper, easily allow oneself to be reckless, ending up covered with wounds and scars
我太笨 明知道你是錯的人 明知道這不是緣分 但我還是奮不顧身
Stupidly, although knowing that you are not the one for me, knowing that this isn't fate but yet I selflessly sacrifice myself
我太笨 明知道你是錯的人 明知道這不是緣分 但我相信有點可能
Stupidly, although knowing that you are not the right man for me, knowing that this isn' fate but yet I still gave you the least benefit of doubt