To Him: Too Late 2 Apologize & Return Back

It has been a week since I walked out of my marriage. This week has been a eventful week, the impact of a failed marriage at the back of my mind, mixed with preparation for exams on Wednesday and, coupled with the fact that I have to maintain my composure and brave-front in front of family, colleagues, patients, parents and friends.
Of course, I am also enjoying my new founded freedom and lesser feeling of responsibilities to be fulfilled. I am also basking in the joy of spending more time with my parents and going on car-rides with my dad.

There has been people asking me what if he decides to do some soul-searching (at last!), feels apologetic about it and wants to come back to me, would I allow it to happen? Some people even asked me if I would forgive him and give him another last chance to rectify this failed marriage?
The truth is, the probability of turning back in remorse is like 0.01%, the chances of him 'waking up' to his mistake is very slim, so what more the chances of him asking me back to patch up the scars of this marriage?
I have known him for 12yrs and I have witnessed his drastic change in character for the past 6 years. He has now become a man I don't know anymore. He has changed into a man I wouldn't have married. He has become a selfish, egoistic and self-centred freak! He has morphed into a stubborn and immatured fool, unable to analyze what is good for him and what is expected of him if he wants to claim that he has matured into a real man. Honestly, the main reason why I stayed on throughout the last 6 years of this relationship was because I had married him and I firmly believed in the covenant + holiness of maintaining my marriage vows to him no matter what happens. I also prayed for a constant miracle that one day he would wake up, realized how much he had 'tortured' me mentally with his erratic behaviour and treat me better henceforth. But since, it has come to this stage, where he has claimed that he has lost the amount of love for me and that he shows no signs of appreciating my efforts to maintain this marriage, then it is time for me to give up trying and working hard at a marriage when one does all the mending while the other does all the destroying it furthur with all his hurtful words.
Ok, even if the 0.01% of his remorse does happen, even if he finally wishes to be a real + dedicated man/husband to me and he asks for reconciliation, firstly, can I trust him yet again to handle my future? Secondly, can he convince me to serve and care for him the way I did before? Thirdly, would my parents allow me to go back to him? Fourthly, do I have the courage to face another erratic behaviour out-burst from him again? Fifthly, is he worth me carrying all my stuff back to his place and losing my pride in front of his parents, brother and relatives? Afterall, this isn't the first time, he had mentioned 'divorce' and 'go separate ways' to me, and it also his first time, 'pushing' me back to my parents due to his own stubborn ways of being unable to compromise to my own flaws? (I admit I ain't perfect in character. But yet, my imperfections doesn't deserve me to be treated by him in the way he did. I am afterall still a woman, a human who has feelings and emotions.)
Moreover, when I went back on Tuesday to collect my items from his place, he has also removed his wedding band and picture memories of us during happier time from his wall. That is also how I know, his heart for me is dead. Thus, the chances of him asking for reconciliation is very slim...

Now my heart is prepared for divorce, I am just worried that he would make it more complicated by not agreeing for divorce on my terms. I am going ask for him to make all compensation for HDB's penalty for giving-up the flat and I am asking for a monthly alimony of $200. He has always taken the process of divorce lightly and taken my love for him for granted. Every time, we argue and he mentions divorce to me, I stay rooted for this marriage, out of love for him. Maybe, that is why he perceives me having no guts to walk away and hence, keeps mentioning it to me as a threat, knowing that I ultimately wouldn't divorce him.
I am just going give him until 15 May 2012 to serve me the papers of divorce and if the terms are acceptable in my opinion. But if I don't receive any papers from him by then, it would my turn to find a lawyer and serve him the papers on my terms...

This drama has just started. This long and painful road of divorce has just begun. Wish me luck!