Jealousy = A Poisonous Substance In A Relationship

Mum and Dad had major argument last night... Mum caught dad with another woman running to board a bus.
The point was mum didn't witness them holding hands, hugging or behaving intimately, yet she is so mad and claims my dad had betrayed her.

Dad explained that they were catching the bus to attend a dinner, which my mum refused to attend as she was tired. Dad claimed (of course) that there is nothing between them. But the point is that mum claimed the woman was dressed seductively in spaghetti straps and is young + pretty, slightly older than me. Thus, no matter how dad tried to explain himself, mum totally shut out his explanation.

Now mum is asking for a separation leading to divorce for this matter. She suspects my dad is keeping this woman. But she has no evidence for her claims. She wants my dad to move out the matrimonial home and she also would find another place to stay while she intends to sale the matrimonial home and then spilt the money earned from the sales between my dad and her.

No matter how I tell mum that she has no evidence to accuse my dad of infidelity or betraying her trust, she still stubbornly insisting my dad is fooling around her back. She even claims just by witnessing this event today is a 'sign' from God that my dad is fooling around behind her back. So by witnessing the event this evening, as she puts it, is like God's arrangement and will for her to see the 'truth' of my dad's infidelity.

To be honest, I can understand how my mum feels, seeing her husband with another woman running for a bus together isn't one of most pleasant thing to handle emotionally. Although not hand in hand but good enough to trigger a jealous response. Which woman won't be jealous to see her husband with another woman in a pair, not in a group, especially for socializing purpose? Even I would be freaking annoyed... I would also be jumping mad and allow my mind to start running wild on how unfaithful my husband has been.

But, looking at it from another angle, there is actually nothing wrong. Firstly my mum was the one who said she didn't want to go for the dinner with my dad as she is tired. So my dad had to sort of find 'someone' to take my mum's place in order not to waste the ticket. Some more this dinner is organized by his Teochew clan itself as a bi-monthly organization dinner event. It is not like they were checking into a hotel room or behaving intimately. Plus this world is made of males and females, so can't expect your husband or wife to just mingle among the same sex of friends. Even while I work, although it is a gynecological ward, I have to mingle with male doctors to get work done, I still have to talk to patients' sons or husband or brothers. Even out of work life, I do have male friends, just that I don't go on one to one dates with them anymore after my Advanced Diploma studies. At that most, when I go out with those guys one to one, my conscience is also clear. I knew what I was doing, I behaved myself as per a married woman should. Thus, looking from this perspective, I think my mum is being overly sensitive and insecure. She has over-reacted a bit.

I guess after all said and done. It boils down to the word 'TRUST'. She doesn't trust my dad enough to believe his conscience is clear and my my dad has not done enough as her husband to reassure her of his faithfulness to her. I know trust has to be earned and not all woman can fully trust her husband. Take me for an example: I trust my husband not I never to fully trust him 100%. I admit that I have trusting issues too and have my own insecurities in my own marriage. But, I always try to keep a cool head even when female colleagues call my husband, when I hear female voices around him when i call him during lunch time, or when he works late frequently.

Just like my dad, my husband ain't one romantic guy, who believes in giving u any form of reassurance of his love and neither doesn't he perform romantic gestures as a prove of his love. You just got to believe in him and his faithful love towards you. You just got to psycho yourself that he has a major problem expressing himself and his love for you.

I know all these are easier said than done. But I sincerely hope this misunderstanding with clear up soon because I still believe love is present in their marriage. If there isn't love in the marriage, my mum wouldn't be jealous and so irate over seeing my dad with another woman. She won't be jealous that the woman is prettier, younger and even notice that she wearing spaghetti straps, jumping to conclusion that that woman is trying to entice my dad with her sexiness.

Seriously, if my dad wanted to have another woman out there, the whole family would have long found out about it and just remember '纸是包不住火'.. It wouldn't be so simple as just witnessing them running to catch a bus...

Haiz... I pray that this is all just a misunderstand and my mum would see the light for this matter soon.

Seeing her so mad also makes me reflect on my own level of jealousy and my own marriage. Jealousy = Poison, but Jealousy can also = love is still present between both parties.
Am I right?