Bless My Broken Road

"My road has been broken with my bridges burned." This is how I have been feeling since the day I left him. Yes, although I have started a brand new life without him, I still do reminisce the good old times we once shared and I do ask myself why things has ended up in such a sad way. The only reason I can conclude is that this marriage had failed 'cause he lack to understand the meaning of forgiveness, acceptance and tolerance. Perhaps, due to the fact I am his first girlfriend, thus he doesn't know the true meaning of loving someone and accepting someone. He has yet to learn the true essence of love.
Although he has hurt me deeply and wasted my 12 years, I learnt that he isn't worth me nor my tears anymore. He has moved on well without me because what he needed wasn't a wife, he needed someone to take over his mum's position, he needed a maid. He craved the freedom of a single and refused to acknowledge the works of a doting wife. He has lost a good wife. I am not perfect but at least I know I had tried my best to love him and cared for him just like a wife should. It's a pity that he just didn't feel it and couldn't appreciate it, much less reciprocate it. After taking a step back, I evaluated that he is definitely not suited to be my husband. He isn't my ideal husband material. He was boyfriend material but not made to be a husband. I was also perhaps not his ideal wife material.

Like I always said, I still Thank God that so far this divorce proceedings has been smooth and civil. No calling names to each other's face. Just slowly drifting apart and stop contacting.

Thankfully for that. By mid-Nov, I should be free from this bondage of being married to him. By mid-Nov, I should be finishing my last semester of my degree course. Guess a new phrase of life will happen after November then. Hopefully a better life than now. Hopefully a more peaceful life than now. Hopefully a new beginning of new hope... Amen.