Long Over-dued Graduation

Actually graduated in June 2011 but graduation ceremony was held nearly a year later...

Back 2 Work Week

Was back to work after a 2 week long hiatus only to be 'hinted' that there are some politics around the ward and that I should watch my back...
It is also said that the 'backstabber' has blabbered to our manager that we have been posting work-related stuff on our Facebook, which violates the confidentiality nature of our work. Hence, some of those offenders has been 'counselled' and given stern warning with regards to that matter. Sadly, I was one of those people. Thus, I shall refrain myself from posting about work related frustrations on Facebook and shall just post vague comments even I want to ventilate my frustrations at work.

Damn't! I just hate politics and yet, I can't seem to escape from it. Politics loves me so much and yet I can't reciprocate it's love... How sad!

Family Drama Part 3 Waiting To Unfold

My brother in law has brought back that female 'colleague' (as he claims) back again. This time, they spent 2 hours sleeping in the room in darkness, while my mother in law and me were in the living room watching TV. We just shook our heads, knowing that drama is about to unfold soon, predicting the same relationship failure that would proceed.

Really don't understand why my brother in law can't just bring home, a proper and decent woman? Every woman he chooses is from bad to worst. First he married a psychiatric & depressive woman, then, he married a PRC woman, whose main motive was to get a PR-ship status & lead a tai-tai lifestyle, now, he brings home another woman, who seems like a Malaysian and doesn't seem to know how to portray decency.

This time, the speculations is that this woman wants a PR-ship status and have a roof under her head, without forking out a single cent. Firstly, my brother in law is turning 35 this year and he has made plans to buy a second hand flat from HDB and live on his own. However, as he is a MCP, he needs a woman to tend to the household chores of the house, cook his meals, do his laundry and take care of his needs to play mahjong whenever and however late he wants. So what a better than to get a woman who would provide free of charge service for him. All he needs to get grant this woman whatever she asks for and she would do according to his biddings. Anyway, to him, he has nothing to lose, as long as he doesn't give that woman ownership of the house. Perhaps, he doesn't even have the intention to marry this woman, all he wants to make use the woman like a 2nd mother to attend to his basic needs of food, clean laundry and tidied house.

Anyway, I have brought this matter up for discussion with my husband and we have concluded that:
1. None of us are in the position to advise or enlighten the foolish brother of potential relationship failure again for choosing this woman. In past, his mum and relatives did warn him about marrying the PRC woman, but he choose to defend her aggressively saying that everyone was biased against his future wife and still chose to marry her amidst all disapproval.
2. Neither of us are in the position to 'approve' or 'disapprove' this relationship when the mother is mum herself and chooses to be oblivious of her own son's mistake.
3. As long as that new woman doesn't get us involve or affect us in anyway, we should not bother about them and leave them be.
4. If it comes to one day, this woman decides to move in and stay with this family in Sengkang, I have the choice to move back to my parents' place until our new house in Punggol is ready for moving in.
5. The brother's matter is none if our business and concern. Hence, if he chooses to make the same mistake of marrying a woman with ulterior motives, that is his own life and path that he chooses on his own free-will.



CASE CLOSED WHILE WE JUST PLAY BY EAR AND SEE WHAT OR HOW THE NEXT DRAMA WOULD UNFOLD + END...

Happy 28th Birthday 2 Me

- Spent the morning attending to the last rites, funeral and cremation of my husband's granny.
- Had lunch with the family after the cremation
- Headed home for a rest
- Had dinner with my husband at Brewer's Baker


*exhausted*

HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY TO CW ON 13/05/2011!!!!

Cursed

Today marks being for 5 years and knowing one another for 11 years. Not only has he forgotten this date but he choose to curse me 3 things on this very day.
1) he cursed me to die of sickness
2) he cursed me that I would have bad luck following me
3) he cursed me that I am clouded with bad luck now

Thank you very much for his curses as an anniversary present instead of something pleasant.

A Letter 2 Him

Dear 'Him',
It's me. Even as I type this blog post, you know deep down inside me I still love you and would continue to worship you. However, my faith in you has made me more angry and frustrated. I have been talking to you every day or night since that fateful day, but you have never shown me any much form of acknowledgement for my one-sided conversation with you. These few nights, I have been trying harder to speak you but I have yet to see results.
Why do you bless others and not me? Why do allow your other children to have happy marriages, fulfill their dreams of parenthood and bless them with a good, loving husband? Why have you not shown me any of your blessings? Why have you made me suffer so much for the past 4 years? Since 2007, you have put me on a roller coaster ride, playing with my emotions and toying with my love for him, yet I faithfully prayed for some form of miracle for us and my marriage. As years go by, I see some improvement, however, of late, things has been spiraling downwards again. We are arguing more again, I am starting to feel his love waiver for me again, I am feeling upset and miserable yet again. As I see other friends, colleagues and family members being happily married and some even moving on to parenthood, I begin to ask myself why have you forsaken me? Have I not been faithful enough to you? Am I not your beloved child too? Why do you plan such a difficult road for me these few years and how long more do you want me to be in this envious yet miserable state? Why do you answer the prayers of others and not mine? They say we should believe in miracles that you would create for us, I have not seen any of your miracles on me nor my marriage! I am frustrated and yet upset that you have neglected and forsaken me... Why? Why do you do that to me?
Nearly everyday, I have to put up a brave front to others that I am truly happy in my marriage and only a few close friends of mine actually knows my pain. People ask me why I have to conceive or do I intended to be a mum, I can only smile and lie to them that I ain't ready or that I don't like kids... You know the truth why I can't be a mum and can't conceive?
What have you done my ex-loving and gentle husband who doted on me so much that I entrusted my happiness to him since 2006, only to have my happiness short-lived? Why do you do this to me? Why do you want to frustrate me! Am I not worthy of your salvation? Do you not want me to continue serving you? Do you want to infuriate me so much that I hate you and would stop worshipping you? Others have sang praises of you and sadly, I don't have any good testament about you to share with them...
I am sincerely quite and pretty much sick as well as tired of this journey... If I ever see you after my death, I would kneel at your feet and brawl, telling you that you have forsaken me and played with my devotion to love him forever...

Till I see you... Good bye.


From: Just Me

I Voted Have You?

Today marks polling day: a day whereby Singaporean re-elect which political party to best represent them between the PAP or Opposition party? Seems like going to be a tough fight with poor attendance at PAP rallies and over-crowding at Opposition Party rallies. YouTube has also many anti-PAP videos uploaded to stir the minds of voters. Brain-washing perhaps.

Anyway, I have made my decision and hopefully it wouldn't fail me. Hope that the next elected party, be it PAP or Opposition would not fail the rest of Singapore. Hope that Singapore citizens need not suffer or live in regret for the next 5 years until the next elections...

I have made my choice, have you?

Mixed Emo-ness

Ever woke up to feeling a mixture of overwhelming emotions? Woke up feeling pissed, angry, frustrated, upset, irritated and depressed with your own pathetic life? Woke up just wanting to ventilate all these emotions? Woke up with all these mixed emotions but not sure where and why you are experiencing them?

This is how I felt today after waking up. Feeling a sense of surging anger and frustration, mixed with sadness and depressive thoughts on how pathetic my life is, feeling irritated with life itself and with my husband who had not created any mistakes. Why am I feeling this way? I do not know. All I know is that I need to ventilate it out. So I did, now my husband and I are having cold war. Pride has prevented me to admitting the way I feel and telling him that I woke up with such overwhelming mixture of emotions.

Just so pissed with everything around me! Just so angry that my husband can't be understanding enough to just give in to me! Just so irritated that he doesn't even bother about how I feel! Just so upset with my life!