Living My Life Under Scrutiny Of Other

I feel so restricted... First, I much want to vote for the opposition party for the up-coming elections only to be told that as a government worker (civil servant) it is unwise to vote for opposition. It is said that although votes are anonymous but behind scene it may not be so and thus, if a civil servant votes for the opposition party instead of PAP, his/her future promotions would be indirectly affected. Crap!

Secondly, due to some mistake of a doctor and junior nurse, my patient had to suffer much pain before her death. When I posted comments on my Facebook, ther response I got from my Assistant Director of Nursing and Nursing Manager was to remove the post immediately and that the both of them wanted to speak to me on Tuesday regarding this post! Crap! No freedom of speech! Restricted to post stuff on MY OWN Facebook page even!

Thirdly, as I was doing my night duty tonight, I slept at 4am the very morning and woke up for breakfast with my husband at 7.30am, went back to sleep at 9am. By 7pm, I was hearing my mother in law gossiping that I am lazy, sleeping the whole day without waking up to pee, eat or even drink water. She even commented that the way I sleep is worst than being on sleeping pills. She also said I was wierd, sleeping so much that I neglected my lunch. Unknown to her is that I didn't sleep the night before and need to sleep in the whole day in preparation for my night duty. I mean, what's her problem? I need sleep and should be given the freedom to sleep in as late as I want and wake up in the evening for work, right? I don't have the luxury like others to be entitled to long weekends, work from 8-6pm daily, 5 days work week and routine lifestyle. I am sorry, I don't have such beautiful life anymore. I work on distruptive shift duties and at times don't get to sleep at night like others do. Now, I am being resticted to sleep and purposely wake up to pee, eat or drink water just because you want me to? No way! Crap!

I just hate being resticted with my lifestyle and even down to whatever I put in my Facebook status has to be 'approved'... Let's see what lecture I would get from my Assistant Director of Nursing and my Nursing Manager on Tuesday... CRAP to the MAX!