Divorce Isn't Child's Play

This week 2 people I know have came up to me asking and seeking advice pertaining to divorce their spouses. One wanted to know the proceedings and how to go about settling a divorce that was mentioned by her husband. The other, sick and tired of her husband being the lesser man in the household, being irresponsible to work and help out in the housework as well as chores. However, after speaking to both of them, I realise that they still have feelings for their husbands. For one, her husband had mentioned the idea of divorce at every argument that she feels so hurt by his la k of commitment to work the marriage out. For the other, it is the sparks that had gone out and she no longer feels the importance of having a husband to support the family and kids. 

These ladies reminded me of my own divorce:
- How my ex-husband mentioned divorce at every disagreements, fights, quarrels and arguments
- How I felt that he had belittled the essence of marriage as well as the vows made.
- How I felt that the marriage was one-sided love.
- How I finally had enough of his threats and non-commitment to the marriage vows that I decided to grant his wish for a divorce.

The process of divorce sounds simple as finding a lawyer, signing of papers and waiting for the final judgement to dissolve the marriage under law. But, it isn't that easy on one's mental and emotional status. The numerous thoughts of betrayal, regrets of marrying him,  recollections happier times, anger of tolerance of his behaviour, the pain of facing society as a divorcee and the struggles to getting used to being alone again were the struggles of undergoing a divorce. The false front that I had to put up to public and people around me and the nights of tears while I am alone in bed.

Although, I have survived and moved on from my divorce, coming out stronger than I ever thought I could and would be, that doesn't mean I condone the decision of divorce unless there is a 3rd party involved or any form of abuse in the marriage.

Divorce isnt a game nor an escape route to marriage. However, sadly many have not tried their best to work out the marriage and feel that divorce is their only answer as well as solution to a marriage that had failed.