Marriage Is A World of Two People. Hence, The Same Should Be For The Organisation of The Wedding.

Was chatting with my friend earlier this evening. She was asking me about my Bridal Studio and complaining to me on how her parents and grandparents had insisted that her husband and her hold a customary wedding ceremony despite the both of them being legally married with ROM. She was also lamenting on how unhappy and unwilling her husband is with the idea of having a customary wedding ceremony. She even told me that she already predicted that her husband would avoid the preparation process with excuses of being busy or lazy to do anything related with this event. In fact, her husband had told her that if she wants to a customary wedding ceremony, she shall do all preparations and planning by herself and to count him out from them.

Doesn't that sound a little too familiar to me? Doesn't remind me of a position I was in years ago?

Not that I am cursing her to have the same fate as me but I did tell her that organizing and planning for a customary wedding ceremony isn't as easy as it seems. In fact, it requires lots of work and time to find the right Bridal Studio Package, Wedding Gown, Actual Day Photographer and Wedding Event. Not to forget the preparation for wedding, including gown fittings and finding of appropriate decorations for the wedding day, the wedding shoes, pre-wedding photo-shoot and designing of wedding album, choosing of wedding favours, wedding cards, organizing guest list and lastly, the basic manicure and pedicure on the eve of the wedding day. She can't possibly do this all on her own, alone. Her husband has to get involved too.

I told her how her situation reminded me on my own history of having an ex-husband, who was also not interested in any wedding preparations and how stressed up I was alone, doing all the prepartory work and organisation of the wedding. These strained the relationship and marriage furthur, adding to the cracks that we already had.

My current husband, who made time from his life, made wedding preparations made easier and less stressful for me. I immediately recalled how we spent time together planning, searching, organizing and preparing for the wedding, how we were stressed but yet happy to have each other's company during those busy days and how the process also strengthened the love we had for each other. Not to forget, those planning days for our wedding were also the days whereby we were preparing for house, aka love-nest too. Double the stress. However, knowing that my partner is also going through it with me, hand in hand is reassuring and less burdensome for me, It was comforting to me that he was also with me throughout whatever ordeal I had gone through thick and thin, made me feel more willing to entrust my future with him. Afterall, he had seen me through my divorce process also and walked with me through whatever nonsense or biasness that were against us. We fought to be with each other as a couple.

Hence, I firmly believe that since marriage involves two individuals, coming together, forsaking all others, hence the process of planning, organising and coordination for it should also be the responsibilities of two individuals. Not just one bearing the stress and burden of it.

I have learnt from my mistake of being naive. That is why I always maintain my stand that a woman should find and marry a man, who loves her more than she loves him, Period,