Once In A While...

Once in a while, I am reminded that I am afterall a divorcee.
Once in a while, I get this naggy feeling that I am not that successful afterall.
Once in a while, I have this passive thoughts that I am suffering the karma of being a self-centred and feminist person as a teenager as well as during my early adulthood.
Once in a while, I feel suppressed under the feet of fate and being played out by God.
Once in a while, I am forced to admit defeat that I am nothing more than just a below average human being.
Once in a while, my life sucks so much that I wish that I never did existed.
Once in a while, I wished I could retreat into my personal dark space and be left alone to wallow in self-pity.
Once in a while, I wonder the reason of existence for my life and how I can fulfill the reason of existence so that I can earn my rights to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and meet my God.
Once in a while, I pray feverishly, even though I know that I was forsaken and perhaps, forgotten by God.
Once in a while, I am misunderstood and misjudged by mortals that think that they know me well enough to rule my life.
Once in a while, I am controlled by my own irrational emotions and insecurities to behave weirdly.
Once in a while, I silently slip into depression without anyone noticing and managed to lie to eveyone else that I am fine.

That's my life of me, myself and I. How pathetic!