Sometimes as I accidentally hear certain songs over the radio or at stores while shopping, it reminds me of Jeff. It can be songs that used to like listening or songs that he had tried to get me to appreciate or even songs that he enjoyed karaoke-ing.
When I listen to those songs, I tend to think that he probably enjoyed listening to them 'cause the lyrics were probably sensible to him and that he associate his thoughts as well as feelings to them.
"flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things have to come to an end"
Of course there are also some songs that reminded on how I felt when I had faced the pitfalls of our frequent arguments and ultimately, my last straw to tolerating his erratic mood swings and behaviour towards me. These songs expressed my patience worn thin versus my love for him as well as my regrets of marrying him versus upholding the holy covenant of staying in the marriage through thick and thin.
"我搞不懂我们到底这么了, 我想不通我们的爱这么了, 雨下以后是否让什么不同。"
Then, there are songs that kind of represent my sadness and heartbreaking thoughts of finally facing a divorce. The mixed feelings of liberation from a mentally torturing relationship versus pity of the end of a 12year relationship with a guy whom I wrongly married, versus social stigma of being a divorcee versus joys of regaining my independence to lead a better life for myself.
"Make it like it never happened and it was nothing. Now ya just somebody that I used to know..."
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