New Toy

My old one decided to grow old and slow down on me... So I bought something I always wanted to get since 2 years back...
Ok, one BIG hole in my pocket now...

Re-assured

Had a good talk with my dad and I feel much better there after. Used to fear the possibility of divorce mainly in regards to family's pride, parents' face and how they would 'answer' to relatives or friends that their only daughter ends up being a divorcee.
Conversation goes...
Dad: Mummy says regardless if you were wrong or right, we will support you if you get a divorce
Me: Then would it be tarnishing our family's reputation?
Dad: No, we already know where the problem lies. This man obviously cannot forgive you for your past and blames you for it.
Me: How about Ah Ma side? How you all going to explain?
Dad: What is there to explain? They don't know what is going on and what you are going through.
Me: Would relatives or friends gossip or laugh at the loss of family's face?
Dad: Who dare? If I hear about it, I would shout at them and scold them!
Me: Ok.
Dad: In the meantime, just be yourself and if this man wants to play punk, come back to Azalea, your room would always be yours...
Me: Orh.
Dad: Don't need to do anything for him if you are uncomfortable with. Just be humble and don't allow him to find further faults with you. Let me know if you meet with any troubles from him again.
Me: *speechless and near to tears* Ok.

So far, he has returned back to his caring self, after failing to get my parents to side him when he called them to 'complain' and he had caused his own ego to be bruised after my dad rebuked him gently to remind him that what past is past and no use harping on it since improvement has been made.
Now, although I am glad he has returned to his own self before the argument but I am even more glad that I exploded and poured out my woes to my parents gaining their support no matter. At least, they know that if this marriage fails, I am not entirely to be blamed and that the main faults lies in his stubbornness to forgive and forget.
Although I hope the marriage to last and improve, I guess I would be more confident to walk out of it with my own parents' support and understanding. Looks like I will always be a 'Daddy's girl' after-all... No matter how I try to run from their shield, it is always there when I need it the most!

翻旧帐

又提那些过去的事件来侮辱我
又拿往事来威胁我
又把离婚挂在口边
又说出难听的话来令我伤心，难过

说全怪我
说全是我的错
说你自己很委屈
说你自己面对我很无奈

那我呢？

难到我没牺牲过吗
难道我没附出过吗
难道我没委屈过吗
难道我没容忍过吗

那你呢？

难道你没错吗
难道你在这婚姻没开心过吗
难道你舍得放弃这段感情吗
难道我在你心中是这样差的一个人吗？

我好想回到过去

那我就不会嫁给你
那我就不会和你在一起
那我就不会对你付出真感情
那我也不会越陷越深

我真的好想说算了
好想放弃
好想放下一切
好想当一切是个恶梦，说自己没爱过你

说的到容易！

Sweet Gift From Him 2 Me

He was supposed to buy dinner for me and dinner came with something extra... :) A simple cup with lots of thought + love in it...

Sweet! :)

Paid For My Mistakes Dearly

At times, I do wonder if I hadn't made that silly, stupid mistake, would I be happier now?
I wonder if I hadn't commit that error of playfulness, would my life would so badly affected?
I wonder if I hadn't made that particular mistake, would he have used it against me rendering me speechless and hurt.
I miss the old you and sometimes hate the new you. But it is something I must accept indefinetely 'cause I made a mistake that changed everything...


"I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now"