Yes or No?

Received a phone call from my Nurse Manager (NM) today...
NM: Amelia, do you want to apply for the Advance Diploma this year? Are you interested?
Me: Yeah.
NM: Ok, I will submit your name for application.
Me: Ok, Thanks!

After hanging up the phone, I had mixed feelings...
- wasn't she supposed to be applying for me earlier this year as during the appraisal in April, she did verbalized that she was considering me an applicant for it?
- wasn't I next in line for this Advance Diploma since it was mentioned since 2008, way before I had shifted from GCC to WDTC? I mean all my superiors has been asking me this same question since the start of the year and my answer has never been a 'No'.
- if I go for this Advance Diploma, I would be bonded to KK for another 2years and it is said the likelihood of me returning back to the office hour job is slim, as well as I would be posted to a very busy ward with poor management.
- if I go for this Advance Diploma, I may have to clear my leave by Oct and should I go Melbourne and visit my friends as well as my 'sister' there? What would the weather be like?
- if I don't go for my Advance Diploma, my career would be stagnant and no progression. That is not what I want. Although, I wouldn't want to be a Nurse Manager, I won't mind being a Nurse Clinician specializing in Oncology.
- if I go for my Advance Diploma, would my marriage life and family life be affected?


Sigh... this Advance Diploma has been mentioned so many times to me over the past few months, yet, I see no realistic actions taken yet. Been told that my name would be submitted few times over the year and only today I hear it would be finally submitted. Anyway, my name submitted, doesn't mean I would be choosen also, it all depends on my Director of Nursing, Assistant Director of Nursing and my Advance Practice Nurse in charge.

Praying that God does show His way for me, be it I get the application or I don't...