Yes or No?

Received a phone call from my Nurse Manager (NM) today...
NM: Amelia, do you want to apply for the Advance Diploma this year? Are you interested?
Me: Yeah.
NM: Ok, I will submit your name for application.
Me: Ok, Thanks!

After hanging up the phone, I had mixed feelings...
- wasn't she supposed to be applying for me earlier this year as during the appraisal in April, she did verbalized that she was considering me an applicant for it?
- wasn't I next in line for this Advance Diploma since it was mentioned since 2008, way before I had shifted from GCC to WDTC? I mean all my superiors has been asking me this same question since the start of the year and my answer has never been a 'No'.
- if I go for this Advance Diploma, I would be bonded to KK for another 2years and it is said the likelihood of me returning back to the office hour job is slim, as well as I would be posted to a very busy ward with poor management.
- if I go for this Advance Diploma, I may have to clear my leave by Oct and should I go Melbourne and visit my friends as well as my 'sister' there? What would the weather be like?
- if I don't go for my Advance Diploma, my career would be stagnant and no progression. That is not what I want. Although, I wouldn't want to be a Nurse Manager, I won't mind being a Nurse Clinician specializing in Oncology.
- if I go for my Advance Diploma, would my marriage life and family life be affected?


Sigh... this Advance Diploma has been mentioned so many times to me over the past few months, yet, I see no realistic actions taken yet. Been told that my name would be submitted few times over the year and only today I hear it would be finally submitted. Anyway, my name submitted, doesn't mean I would be choosen also, it all depends on my Director of Nursing, Assistant Director of Nursing and my Advance Practice Nurse in charge.

Praying that God does show His way for me, be it I get the application or I don't...

Me, A Cupid

Recently, been trying to match my Primary School best friend with my wedding photographer. So far, they have already been sms-ing each other and even dated once last Sunday. Cool...

I really hope the make it into a relationship. I guess age shouldn't be a factor in stopping true love, as long as the guy is mature enough to handle a relationship like a proper man and shows proper responsibilities to maintain the relationship. It would total futile to have a guy much older than you but yet handles relationship matters like an adolescent.

Anyway, had an arguement with my husband on Saturday and I totally hate it when we argue, 'cause all the nasty words would come out from him to piss me off furthur. Sometimes the words can be also very hurting. However, when time is given to cool off, he always manages to apologize with words or actions to melt my heart. Guess different people react differently when they are angry, only to regret it later. Talk of EQ maturity, eh?

Don't seem to get it why I am always so soft hearted towards him. This kind of situation happened in the past with any of my ex-boyfriends, I would have already insulted him, left, right and centre asking they to go fly kite. Perhaps, being fully committed and now progressed on in marriage life has made me force myself to be more tolerant of him. Wonder, when would my patience with him run out one day... Of course, I am hoping that day doesn't come but still, just thinking of how sometimes we have communication break downs and how he treats me when he is angry just annoys me. Tried reasoning it with him few times to make him see how I feel when hurtful words are hurled at me, yes, he apologizes, however, the same thing happens when he is annoyed again.

Love sometimes does hurt, doesn't it?

Analogy

Recently been chatting with few friends on Facebook + MSN and slowly I came up with my own analogy of views regarding on my own personal love and marriage life:

1) Love me for who I am and not whom you want me to be. Love me, accept me for my past, present and future.

2) I am the pork ribs and my husband is the ikan bilis; thus we must be brewed together as a delicious soup for God's tasting one day... decades later...

3) For 9yrs, we have climbed mountain the hand in hand... now it is time to balance on the mountain top without fall down the cliff, 40-50yrs later we will learn to walk down the mountain into the valley of death, hands in hands once again...

Guess, I would come out with more of my own weird analogies to describe my love journey, until marriage, until our own death beds, growing old together (hopefully)... In the meanwhile, I am still hoping for some miracles...

Mundane Life

Family ife has been good for me so far, except that Grandma had a fall last Sunday and ended up in SGH with a hip bone crack, which needs at least another 2 week to heal. So in the meanwhile, it is rehab with physiotherapy at St. Luke;s until we can get her a maid.

Marriage life has been kind to me too... Hope it stays this way, but I won't mind an improvement if possible. However, if it remains this way, I am also satisfied.

Work life has so far been ok too. Nice colleagues and supervisor. Not to forget a not so nice, chilish reception clerk who never fails to irritate me daily with her childish antics.

On the whole, God has been nice to me so far...