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A Decade Later

Rewinding back to 2012, when I was back at my parents' place near to tears, yet I had to put a strong front to explain to them why my ex-husband and I called off 12 years of relationship, including 6 years of marriage. I had to finally let go of whatever emotional abuse that I was put through while being someone who didn't know how value me and remain humane towards  my feelings. Basically, love was not present anymore, hence, everything else isn't no longer important. That moment of moving back to my parents' was the start of my recovery to find myself back, to regain my own self-confidence, to be strong for myself once again. It was the moment I swore off being a submissive woman and never to fall deeply in love again, including never to get married again.

In 2022, 10 years later, lots have changed:

1) I am a patient with autoimmune condition.

2) I am now a degree graduate, something that I was once told that I will never be one. 

3) I have hustled through work politics and survived, something that I was once told that I would never be able to deal with maturely.

4) I have met someone better and remarried. 

5) I am no longer a Christian. This God isn't for me.

6) I am a homeowner of my own roof over my head. 

Yes, do memories of my ex-husband still does pop up in mind but they no longer hurt me as much as before. At least, I can tell my story without holding back tears. He is my past, something that I can't change. He was a mistake that I made that I can't undo. Probably these are his mutual thoughts and he dittos what I feel about us. Do I care what he thinks or feel now about our past? Nope. Do I bother about his apology? Nope. Nothing he says or do will amend the past. Nothing will change what has happened.

At times, I believe that whatever has happened are all pre-destined. I am to marry a guy, who is an Aries and born in the year of a Goat, but that guy isn't my ex-husband but my current one. I started my road to divorce on the same date of my current husband's birthday. All just falls into coincidence or fate as one may say. Either way, I am happy now and I believe so is my ex-husband.

May his and mine path never ever cross again. Don't wish to remember the hurt he caused, neither do I want to ever see him ever! 

Just Some Lyrics

You want the end to be easier than the start

I was a hopeful heart that you shattered apart

You want to say goodbye and disappear

Don't want to watch when I break down into tears

I won't try to make you stay

I won't even try to change your mind

Take a good look at the pain in my face before you walk away

Memorize all the hurt in my eyes and what I say

I'm gonna give you what you wanted but my heart will never stop

Tell you that I'm fine even though I'm not

You're gonna know for the rest of your life this is true

I'm never getting over you

I won't pretend that I won't find someone else

You'll be a closed book sitting there on the shelf

I'll never have to open it again

To know the pages of the words of what could have been

Start of Lady of Leisure

This past week, I have started my life as Lady of Leisure aka Tai-Tai aka Homemaker. It was a good time to take a break from it all, especially with all the politics as well as favouritism at work: too messy for my liking.

Listening to songs and stumbled on this song with cool lyrics;

"Take a good look at the pain in my face 'fore you walk away

Memorize all the hurt in my eyes, not what I say

I'm gonna give you what you wanted

Though my heart will never stop

Tell you that I'm fine even though I'm not

You're gonna know for the rest of your life this is true

I'm never gettin' over you

We'll move on and you'll find somebody new

With everything I could never be for you,"

Yes, maybe I will never really get over the hurt that I experienced from my failed previous marriage. Maybe I will never really get over all the pain that I once experienced with the shattered dream of happily ever after with my ex-husband. However, there is/are always reason/s why he is my ex-husband and I am still glad we left the marriage. 

Definitely in a happier place now, married to a good man (even people and mutual friends who knows us, says so). Love is not what he says, it is more of what he do, his actions speaks volume of his love and appreciation for me. I need not thread on thin ice in fear of any arguments or quarrel that may break us apart. I do not need his approval to do the things I enjoy. Even as I decide to take a break and live off him for awhile was met with his full support. No, don't mistaken me, he ain't rich or earning big bucks, yet he is willing to work harder just to make sure I am able to take my mind off working life for awhile, before embarking on a new place of work. Of course, I am not exactly living off him, I using my savings to chill out and relax. 😊

Till then, peace out and back to enjoying my serenity... 

End of 2021, Welcome 2022

As 2021 comes to an end and we start to welcome 2022, here are the things I am grateful for...

1) Husband - his love shown through daily actions, big or small. His initiative to put my needs above his, at times sacrificing his business to ensure my requests are met. His easy-going nature to give in to my frustrations, especially when my flares occurs to get me down or when work-related stress manifest into our after office hours life. Plus, his acts of support, unsaid means of reassuring me that no matter what decision I make, what I do (of course in the right and reasonable path of life) he is there behind me to comfort me should anything goes haywire. 

2) My 师傅s - through their blessings, prayers, amulets and lucky charms, I made it through another year quite smoothly. Of course hiccups were bound to have occurred, but I believe without their wisdoms and blessings, things could have been worse. Appreciate their willingness to attend to the requests of all devotees and those who have faith, trust and belief in them. Nothing is too big or too small for them to handle.

3) My immediate work supervisors/managers - their decision to promote me and never did discredit my ability to get work despite my invisible illness. They granted my leave for medical follow-ups and respected my MCs when I was truly down.

4) My buddy - although we didn't managed to meet up properly for the past 2 years due to the covid situation as well as our own commitments, her friendship and promptness to reply to messages or missed calls were unwavering. Her surprise gifts throughout the year, despite her busy schedules and 'checks' that I am still 'very much alive', in her words, makes me feel very blessed to have her as my buddy & close friend.

5) Other close friends - those who stood by me through the year, listening to my rants and offering me sound advices to make decision or to just basically allow me to get things off my chest for the sake of letting go of my irritations or 无奈.

6) 小人s- yes, I thank you for making me stronger, for making me see you in a new light and for your luck. For every one time that you have decided to backstab or gossip about me, the same one time your luck is taken away and accumulated to my merits for my benefits. I am sure I have benefited one way or another through your lost of luck.

I have no new resolutions for 2022, only wishes for it be smooth, mostly filled with joys and blessings, as well as better luck in all aspects of my life. I also wish the same for all my blog readers and those whose lives matters to me.

好的来，坏的去，有求必应，sadhu sadhu sadhu! 

Guess I am That Easily Forgetable

Maybe our memories meant nothing. 

Maybe whatever we went through nothing. 

Maybe there wasn't never 'we', 'us', 'our' in your mind. 

Maybe it was just Me, Myself and My Naive World. 

Flare In Progress

ทางผ่าน

I am just a fool for you

You always know that I loved you and I was down for whatever you wanted.

It's fine, though, you overlooked the things I did.

If your heart has changed, I will not hold you back.

I have accepted to let you go, or I am just a passerby for you.

I cry because my heart can't deal with the so much hurt you have given to me. 
One thing that I realized after so many years is that I've become a person you don't love. 

漸冷

你多冷漠的语言 没语言

想逼我说出再也不见

没关系 大可不必找理由 直接走

别担心 我会纠缠 求你别回头

不再想要有以后

现在的我们都想要出口

我能不能少爱你一点

像以前 以前一切的以前

有底线 会发泄 不像现在藏几面

如果你从来都没改变

不过是回到一个人的夜里

不过再没你唱睡前的歌曲

不再等 你渐冷的气温回升

你就不用再爱我一遍

像以前 以前你多么热烈

没谎言 不失联 只拥我一人入眠

梦里面 你出现的画面越来越远

我会做到少爱你一点

像以前 以前一切的以前

有底线 会发泄 不像现在藏几面

如果你从来都没改变

Why do all sad love songs point to you and how I felt when we finally parted... That bitter sweet yet having to be strong for myself and own sanity. 

错位时空

我吹过你吹过的晚风

那我们算不算相拥

可如梦初醒般的两手空空

心也空

我吹过你吹过的晚风

是否看过同样风景

像扰乱时差留在错位时空

终是空

我吹过你吹过的晚风

空气里弥漫着心痛

可我们最后在这错位时空

终成空

Don't miss you. But do wonder if you would think about us occasionally and on nights of insomnia... 

I Have Loss My Hearing

How should I start this post without feeling a sense of despair or negativity? I don't how so just let me rant. Let me get this feeling of hopelessness out.

Yes, I have loss my hearing, not sure if it is temporarily or permanently. Currently, trying this 'salvage therapy' involving taking high dose of steroids and anti-viral for the next 2 weeks to see if anything can be done to reverse this hearing loss. In medical terms, it is called Sudden Sensorial-Neuro Hearing Loss.

I actually notice this change in hearing abt 2 weeks back but during the first week, I thought it was the actual ear infection or impacted ear wax and tried to self-medicate. Then the next week, I went to a GP and was told it was Eustachian Tube Dysfunction, asked to try out a week of anti-congestants.

When I visited the ENT specialists, after doing the hearing test, it is finally reveal that I do have mild hearing loss but all my nasal anatomy as well as ear are all fine. No problems with ear wax, Eustachian Tube or even sinuses. But I feel like my sinus are ready to explode, I have a constant headache, there is a constant humming sound in my affected ear and now getting this news that I have hearing loss just makes me feel terrible.

Although on paper it is mild hearing loss, but the effects of it is great impact. I can't hear anyone talking to me when the surrounding is noisy, and I won't be able to hear anyone speaking to me without getting my attention first. I am experiencing something that I have never had to deal with before. And it scares me to think that I am losing my hearing at age 38! I still probably have a long way ahead of me if I do live to at least 70 or 80 yrs of age. If this hearing loss permanent then what? Hearing aid? So debilitating!

I already hate taking medication and now while on this 'salvage therapy', I have to take 14 tablets in the morning and 3 at night. Argh! If the therapy works, that's great, if it doesn't then I have to plan what's next installed. Steroidal treatment intra-membrane into the ear? 

Autoimmune Disease is damn't non-sparing! 

What's A Flare?

In the midst of a flare, and it is not time yet though. I am associating that it due to the Lunar New Year period, whereby I have been lack of proper rest, sleep and stressing over some home matters.

Just a little insight of what this auto-immune condition called Behcet's Disease does to me and how it affects me... 

So what's a flare for me? 

- multiple ulcers in the oral cavity (usually more than 3 that can be on my tongue, inner lips, tonsils or even gums). Making eating, speech, drinking, swallowing and oral movements more difficult than usual. 

- gum inflammation resulting in sensitive pain when consuming cold liquids or food.

- hypersalivation due to the body's own mechanism to 'lubricate' the ulcers, attempting to lessen the pain due to friction of oral movements. 

- various skin pustules, acne and abscess. This occurs at any part of the body, including scalp. 

- aches at any random joint, usually fingers, elbow, rib cage and even knee. 

So you may ask how do I cope? 

Basically:

A) eating as normally as I can. If I can't eat, I will drink soy milk to meet my nutrients needs. 

B) basically wearing long pants to cover up the skin abscess, tops with sleeve as shaving the armpit area would be painful. (yes, I will have abscess there too) 

C) living my life as normal as possible. Behcet's Disease is an Invisible Disease, which means, you won't really know unless I tell you or rather if you observant enough about me, then you notice the subtle change in my speech, eating habits or dressing. 

D) Sleep with a towel on my pillow to absorb the saliva and prevent soiling the pillow case with abscess that bursts during sleep. 

E) Accept my hair loss with each comb, shower and frequent vacuum of the floors. 

What medications are you on? 

Regular ones:

1) colchicine twice a day

2) multivitamin once a day

3) probiotics once a day

If flare starts:

4) tramadol for the pain before bedtime

5) Xanax for mental calmness before bedtime 

If flare worsens:

5) Dexamethasone in the morning 

6) Omeprazole in the morning

How do you feel now that you are nearly one year into this diagnosis? 

Honestly, I have accepted this is part of me, be it karma or whatever people would like to think it as, it doesn't matter as I have to live with it, like it or not. I have a supportive husband to understand my condition and its downtime it causes, so he copes with my flare with same mentality as me. More of my close friends and close cousins have been informed of this issue that I am living with. I also have my Thai Master and friends in the same religion who encourages me to always stay positive, think positively and live positively. Hence, this disease doesn't gets me too depressed as it did initially when I was newly-diagnosed. 

What's the outlook now? 

Basically live one day at a time and see how this disease progresses or improves. For the time being, my autoimmune doctor can't do much as my liver blood tests isn't optimal to start any stronger medications to suppress the flares occurences. 

Of course, I have read about the complications of this disease progression that can lead to stroke, blindness, deep-vein thrombosis and intestinal issues. I leave those in the hands of the One up there. No use worrying about it! It would come if it is meant to come. Just pray that when those more serious complications occur, my parents would be in Heaven by then and my darling Charcoal would have passed on, so as not to have extra burden on my husband. I don't fear the death that results from this disease, more of fear for the suffering of pain as well as burdening my husband to take care of me. I have adequate medical insurance to cover financial aspects if I have any disabilities due to the disease progression, so finances shouldn't be a much worrying issue. 

Ending my post to readers, whether you do me personally or just randomly chanced upon my blog, wishing you good health and happiness. Cherish your health, 'cause you may not never know when it can suddenly turn against you for no rhythm or reason. 

First Post of 2021-Lunar New Year Day 3

I would like to start the post wishing all that celebrates Lunar New Year aka Sping Festival aka Chinese New Year, a Prosperous year of the Ox ahead and Blessed 2021 With Much More Joys than 2020.

The past 6 weeks of 2021, has just gone by like that. But lots of emotions that I have been reflecting on...

1) My own divorce that had indirectly inspired my cousin to finally leave her husband, whom she had been married for about 17 years. She had enough of his infidelity and she is currently expecting a baby in April this year with her live-in bf. She is more worried of what our relatives in Sg may judge or say about her situation. So I told her that as long as she is sure about this guy, why bother what the gossipy relatives may say, its her life not theirs. Just like me, when I first decided to date my current husband, my parents, especially my mum, was not supportive of the relationship, constantly making unfair judgement about him based on his looks. However, now she realizes that I am happier person being with him and he is equally filial towards her. They now get very much along and I frequently enjoy our dinner as a family, chitting and socialising. (Something that I didn't get when I was with my ex-husband.) 

2) I had to deal with training 2 new staffs after receiving news of resignation of 2 staff. Dealing with an insecure newbie was really tedious, however, she is slowly gaining her confidence to deal with clinical administrative work. Then another staff has the experience in a private GP clinic, so she initially thought she knew it all but realized that private specialist sector can be more stressful, demanding and challenging, hence, her attitude is more tamed now.

3) My autoimmune has been more subdued. But of course, I still have those ulcer and abscess recurring monthly along with my menstrual cycle. Just that I am more about to cope with the flares with medications and self-psychology, instead of wallowing in self-pity. I kinda feel that this is gonna be a part of me until I die. Something that I have got to live with. So there isn't anything much I can do about hating or dreading it, as those negative feelings that makes which flare feel worse.

4) Did my prayers to 太岁 yesterday and to Rahu. Hopefully my 2021 would be more smooth-sailing than 2020. No more bad news to my health, no more work crappy politics, no more worries about crazy neighbours complaining of ceiling leakage once I settle my renovations probably during mid-end March.

That's so far my updates for past 6 weeks of 2021. Or rather my gripes and rant of my life so far in 2021. So till I blog again... Cya! 

Last Post of 2020

Let's end 2020 with a Top 10 List!

Things/Matters I Am Grateful For:

1) My immediate family, In-Laws and I stayed safe during the Covid outbreak. 

2) People I know and around me (those I truly care for) had their jobs secured.

3) Charcoal remained in good health and didn't need her annual vet visit. 

4) Financially being still stable during the Covid-19 period, although my husband had to make do with lower income by switching to doing food deliveries instead.

5) Being able to explore more recipes to try out whilst being forced to cook at home more often due to the 'circuit breaker' period

6) Having constant winning streak in 4D luck

7) Still having a close bunch of friends around me to cheer me despite knowing my autoimmune condition. 

8) Managed to spruce up my home with some new furnitures and fixtures as planned (when we bought the house, hubs and I planned to change furnitures around the house once every 5yrs).

9) Finally untying a knot from the past and not harping on an apology which I have been enlightened that doesn't matter a difference now since I am happily married.

10) One step nearer to getting my promotion if I manage to handle all the stress and workload thrown upon me.

Songs That I Still Enjoy Listening:

1) Astromania 

2) 体面 

3) Goodbye My Lover 

4) Memories (Maroon 5)

5) 男人女人

6) Fix You

7) 爱自己更深

8) 2002

9) Bad Guy

10) Someone You Love

Things I Hope For in 2021:

1) Getting the promotion I deserve after so long

2) Better Health

3) Better Wealth

4) More peace and serenity in my life 

5) Family members and close friends to be safe and sound. Happy and blessed. 

6) The Pandemic to blow over and life can fully resumed back to where you used to be- No mask, self-serviced buffets, no need to safe entry check-ins, travelling whenever you want, no hassle of needing to book appointments or time slots of entry into tourist attractions.

7) House toilet renovation works to be completed without much hassle

8) More money (tell me who doesn't love money?) 

9) Charcoal to continue staying healthy 

10) Marital bliss to be continued or to be even better! 

领悟

Recently, I had a heart to heart talk with my 师傅. He suddenly ask me about the knot that I had been carrying for the past 8 years. He asked why have I not been able to 把你放下 and my replied was due to the fact that I have few unanswered questions as well as that I feel you owe me an apology for wasting my time and effort to make our marriage work.

He made me realized a few things:

1) my current life wouldn't change a bit now even if I had your answers to my question? So what if the answer was that indeed there was a 3rd party in our marriage? Does it matter to me now that our cracks started from the day that I confessed to you about my mistake of almost choosing someone else instead of you?

2) Even if you did apologize for the divorce that was the ending of our marriage, does it matter to the ending? We still would have head for the divorce anyway, we still would gone our own ways, we still would moved on with our lives without one another existing. Our 缘分 would have ended.

3) I mentioned that you wasted 12 years of my life and my efforts to make the relationship and marriage work. You also did spent the same amount of time with me. So indirectly, you also wasted 12 years of your life with me. That is 扯平.

4) I am being unfair and selfish towards to my current husband, who all 旁观者 can see that loves me a lot, with my constant 放不下 of you. I am depriving him back of the love he deserves due to my own holding back of giving him my all. I should love me as much as I did love you. Since I married him, I should let all my worries of history repeating itself go, I allow myself to love him as much as I did with you. The words used on me is '生在福中，不知福'. Those words were never said to me when I was married to you. Rather the words and questions asked to me while I was with you were why did I chose to hold on to you when the world could see that I was miserable being your wife and that I wasn't happily married to you. 

5) My current life is better and happier without you to hold me down, without restrictions that you had for me, without the expectations that you wanted of me as a wife repenting for my erroneous decision of briefly two-timing you when you were my bf. My current life is also more at peace and ease without the fear of you leaving, as you already did. I am more confident with myself and no longer the same person you know me to be. Hence, I shouldn't blame you anymore for our divorce.

With the above all said, you will always remain part of my memories but I no longer hold it against you for our divorce. I no longer need your apology. I am reminding myself to give my husband back his fairness of my full love without anything holding me back. 

Goodbye Jeff (unless you decided to change your English name again). Hope our fate will end here and this life. I don't wish to 亏欠 nor need you to 还我 anything if we have the next life. 

Behcet's 4th Month In...

Been slightly more than 4 months has past since I am dealing with Behcet's Disease and I am coping with whatever it has brought along: oral ulcers, skin lesions (acne & abscess), at times, nausea, and not to forget the side effects of medications that includes, diarrhoea and hair loss. 

So how am I doing? Honestly? I would say there are the good and bad periods of this disease to me. Eg:

1) there have been days whereby when my flare is real bad, when my ulcers hurts real bad and plagued with painful abscesses. Those are the days when I am unable to eat any solids without tearing up, when I feel unpretty due to the abscesses on body + facial acne, when psychologically I wonder why all these are happening to me. These are the days that I would end up crying to my husband and feel kind of defeated. These are the days whereby I would not have any appetite to eat and only drink liquids such as soy milk, Ribena and of course water to 'survive'. Let's not forget the fatigue that comes along that is akin to having flu, that no matter how much I want to rest yet can't seem to sleep properly. 

2) Then there are days, like now, I am coping fine. Not that I am really ulcer free or skin lesion free, just that they don't bother me that badly. In fact, since the day of diagnosis, I have forgotten how it feels to not have a single ulcer in my mouth or on my tongue. I don't remember what it feels like to have a normal sensation when eating or drinking. I have also forgotten what or how chew my food properly before swallowing, as I would chew my food a bit then swallow it as soon as possible to avoid much pain to discomfort from food being in my mouth too long. Stronger tasting food, like spicy or salty food tends to invoke a higher pain level when eating but that doesn't stop me from eating them though. Just that I avoid them when the ulcers get too many or big.

My daily tablets including my Colchicine three times a day, probiotic once a day and multi-vit Gummies once a day. If my flare is bad, then painkillers are taken to help me sleep and oral gargle to numb my mouth before I brush teeth.

All and in all, I am still very much trying to catch the flare cycles and learning how to deal with this disease. It is going to be a lifelong thing that I have cope with. I have to keep an open-mind that it may bring along other issues in future. Just like any other Autoimmune disease, there isn't any cure. Medications are just for symptomatic relief and helps to control the number of times of flare.

But one important lesson this disease has taught me would be to put myself first rather to force myself to do stuff that I feel unwilling. I have learnt to rest when tired, to reject things that makes me uncomfortable and to listen to my body cues. I have learnt to prioritise myself first, no more do I fight fatigue to head out to meet people or force myself to go all out at work when I feel unwell. So those who know that I am down with this autoimmune problem have to understand and those who don't, I also am not much bothered to explain myself to them. 

Finally, I am grateful that my husband has been quite on the ball with me throughout this journey so far. Although he doesn't fully understand what I go through, but he is empathetic enough to respect my decisions to not eat out, when I want to sleep early, not in the mood to cook or eat anything solid and when I have my breakdowns due to the discomforts. The above mentioned are good enough for me coming from him...

Coming Clean

Been diagnosed with Behçets Disease after all the recurrent abscesses, oral ulcers and skin lesions that I had been experiencing since 2019. Not sure how to say this but, yes, I am officially an autoimmune patient. 

For the past 2-3 months since the diagnosis, I have suffered hair loss due to medications, in constant discomfort and pain due to the multiple oral ulcers, having skin lesions like acne with scarring, and lastly feeling easily tired-out. 

So far only my husband and 3 of my close friends know of this diagnosis. Even I, myself, is still in a bad place or mental state to announce it as a form of my identity. Having an autoimmune condition is akin to cancer, the only difference is with cancer you know that it would be fatal when you are diagnosed at the last stage and there are ways a doctor can stage of it to inform you how serious it is. With an autoimmune condition, you are exposed to repeated flares of it, making your life a living drag and you are left dangling wondering how to deal with each flares comfortably, waiting for time (days/weeks) to past for the flare to subside. You would be able to gauge the cycle of when to expect the flare, yet, nothing can cushion you fully from the discomfort, inconvenience and pain of the flare. You would never be fully well and without reminder symptoms of the autoimmune condition.

As a female, losing hair and having scars fm the skin lesions is affecting my self-image and body-image. 

Ending my post on a bitter-sweet note, hoping that moving forward, I would be an inspiration for those diagnosed with Behcet's Disease. You may not know me but just know that you are not alone and there are also other females out there, suffering the same rare condition as you do. 

其实 - I Loved You More Than You Did Love Me

不需要借口

爱淡了就放手

我不想听

你也没说平静的交错

随便找个理由

决定了就别回头

不爱你的人

说什么都没用

分开时难过不能说

谁没谁不能好好过

那天我们走了很久没有争吵过

分开时难过不要说

如果被你一笑而过

还不如让你选择想要的生活

分开后我会笑着说

当朋友问你关于我

我都会轻描淡写仿佛没爱过

其实我根本没人说

其实我没你不能活

其实我给你的爱比你想的多

算了 - I Never Really Mattered to You Anyway

只能怪这屋子太陈旧
还留着我们喝一半的红酒
就像那个时候我们一口一口
的聊聊曾经和以后
竟然感觉你也走了没多久

难免会相遇在老街口
还是并肩走只除了没牵手
你语气像是朋友自然的对我问候
我只是敷衍著点头
分开的时候勉强说一句保重

你的一句算了不代表我会忘了
你不曾在意的我还一直都记得
有些事越闪躲越说明了爱过
以为自己放了眼眶却又湿了

你的一句算了不代表我会忘了
你的拥抱曾是最温暖的角落
牵着的手放了走着的人散了
也许越用心的越能感觉痛了
只好算了

你的一句算了不代表我会忘了
你的拥抱曾是最温暖的角落
推开怀中的我像是某种解脱
心被回忆困着爱在心中铭刻
怎么算了

有为我的过去流泪了

Watched a YouTuber post-divorce video cum interview. Somehow felt their sadness, reluctance, pain and yet they still have some sort of love for each other despite the divorce. However, their love for each other is no longer the romance type of love but rather more of deep friendship type of love. During the interview, the male was more emotional than the female. Although, he didn't said much during the interview and the female was more dominant in speaking as well as answering the questions posted by fans, his tears were sufficient to see his hurt, raw emotions and how he truly felt of the divorce. Their divorce was nothing to do with 3rd party, it was due to they married too young, only to realized that they had matured seperately into two different paths targeting the same goal.

As watched the such shows or videos relating to divorce-matters or break-up, I can't help to be a little affected as well as reminded of my own wounds from a failed marriage. Perhaps also we got ourselves committed to each other too young, or maybe we also did move on to have different goals in life and pursued our own goals apart from one another, losing the initial spark in the relationship. Like the female said, once the spark the is lost, it is hard to find it back. The male added on to say that once you still procrastinating to honour any form of anniversary or Valentine's day celebrations, that is where the marriage will spiral downhill.

I also realized that marriage and divorce are getting more common in our society, it is like the value of a lifelong marriage is getting lesser than our parents' generation. I also believe that no one who truly loves each other would get married with intentions of planning on a divorce much later. Yet, the mention of divorce is so loosely used...

Anyway, I hope I am not the only one who would feels the same sentimentals and emotional whenever watching or coming across break-ups or divorces stories and shows or videos... Sigh.