At this moment, let me be just honest. You will always be a part of my memory, a scar that you left forever etched in my heart and someone whom I once knew. However, I must say that my life now is definitely much better after leaving you. I am in a happier and more fulfilling marriage. I don't regret agreeing to the divorce as well as don't feel bad about you also remarrying. I am also no longer the same person you knew. Part of me don't wish to ever cross paths or meet you on the streets, yet part of me wishes that you witness that I am living well and fine without you.
Seriously, I don't give a hoot on whether you are happier without me, in a blissful marriage or not. Neither am I interested to know if you have changed in your beliefs, personality and mindset of things, nor do I wish to know if you regret mentioning the last straw statement that made me give up on you and the marriage/relationship that we once shared. Although I would like to have a truth on the rumours that you now walk with a limp after the fateful accident, which you did once tell me that occur during our separation period, I also rather not know the truth for fear that I may have sympathy on you.
Nothing will change my mindset of partial hatred I have toward you for hurting me the way you did. Yet, I don't fully blame you as I made some wrong decisions when I was your girlfriend then. But you still chose for us to reconcile and progressed to marriage, so I don't see why you would still bear the grudge. Your apologies on that doesn't make any sense to me. Your presumption that you could accept my mistakes enough to make me your wife, isn't valid when you mentioned that you eventually realized that you not accept the mistake made. Then, you went on to say that you didn't know the seriousness of signing on the dotted line of our marriage papers. What rubbish excuse is that?! I wished that you were listening to your lame reasons, making me feel like a fool being your wife back then.
However, I must also thank you for waking me up from my own denial that our marriage is actually doomed from the start. Plus, for making me realized that sometimes there isn't a need to go all out for a man who doesn't know how to love, cherish and treasure me as his wife. If you had said that sentence that ultimately made me determined to leave you, I would probably still suffering and being stuck in an aimless marriage with you, a sexless marriage. It could have been worse that I am on this circuit breaker, facing you 24/7 in our BTO flat, still trying to push my patience limit and challenge my mental sanity to live with you under one roof. So yes, I am grateful that we parted. I am thankful that we are divorced.
On this 10 May 2020, I hope you feel the same peace and bliss that we are no longer affiliated with one another as I do. And to the rest of the world who still thinks that I can't let go of my ex-husband, carry on thinking whatever you wish, my conscience is clear...
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