Happy Goat Year 2015

2015 Horoscope for the Pig

Yearly Horoscope Forecast: Good
Lucky Colors in 2015: grey white, golden, black
Lucky Numbers in 2015: 3, 6, 8
Best months of 2015: July, September, October, November, and December

According to Chinese astrology, the animal sign Pig and Sheep are highly compatible. 2015 is the year of the sheep, so it will have a positive influence on the people born in the year of the Pig. It predicts that the Pig will be full of optimism and confidence with the help of others. No matter in business, investment or daily work, you Pigs can always get great help from your social contacts. Earnings tend to be considerable for you. You are easy to get windfall this year. For businessmen, there will be a sudden increase in business bringing you much unexpected income. For office workers who usually have a steady income, you may have many chances to make some extra money. 'A man of honor makes money by a lawful way'. Remember to make your money in a proper way. What's more, there will be dispute for you with the opposite sex. So, try to be calm instead of quarreling which will be helpful to resolve contradictions.

Wealth: The fortune in terms of wealth for the people under the Pig sign is positive in 2015. During the first half year, you may be pleasantly surprised to get a windfall. No matter the fortune is large or small, it is a great encourage to you. There will be no surprise for you during the second half year. Just adjustment your strategy and prepare for the next round.

Career: In terms of career for the Pig people in 2015, it will go smoothly and you can make great progress. The Pigs may be promoted during the later year which will make you perfect yourself in every facet of your job with more power. As you know, a moment of carelessness may store up huge problems for the future. You should pay great attention to details in work especially when dealing with contracts in case of causing any lawsuit.

Relationships: When comes to love relationships, female Pigs will have many admirers in 2015. So, you should make a good decision whether to accept him or not. For single men, you will have many competitors. But don't worry; the year favors you so much that you will stand a bigger chance to win.

Health: Physical condition is predicted to be good enough in 2015. The only threat to your health will be more related to influenza. So you are suggested to avoid staying in crowds when seasons alternate.

Few Days of 'Hectic-ness'

12 Feb:
1) Mum's birthday but ended up none of her sisters organized anything for her (usually they would organize a dinner celebration for her), ended up I had to organize one for her last minute and my dad didn't turn up as he felt that he had other important things to attend to. Ended up, mum got really mad at him.
2) Mum finally invited Desmond up to the house for the cutting of her birthday cake. That is a blessing as it means she has finally and slowly accepted Desmond as a family. Thank God!
3) My bestie's boyfriend/fiance of 4 years broke up with her via 'LINE' text. Some would say it is an expected ending for this couple as they were constantly quarreling and unhappy with each other's character over the years. Their argument can get pretty nasty and violent, at times ending up with both of them getting bruises all over. However, at this point, my bestie fell into depression, (Who won't?)
5) Ended up losing sleep worrying about my bestie and feeling her hurt. She was there when I went through my separation and divorce, understanding my predicament as she is a divorcee too. So her break up is akin to divorce. (She was engaged to him, just that they never got to discussions of any concrete ROM plans due multiple factors, such as poor timing and of course, they also slowly fell apart.)

13 Feb:
1) Those who knows me that I totally hate any 'Friday, the 13th'. My previous marriage ended on a 'Friday, the 13th'.
2) Had a busy clinic day with full patient load.
3) Found out that Desmond's insurance policy got cancelled due to some missing information since Oct 2014 and that the insurance agent didn't inform us. I called his insurance agent only to be met with poor service attitude from her telling me that Desmond isn't her only client and don't expect her to fore-go any CNY plans to settle this issue as she is already on CNY break/leave.
4) Received a call from a close guy-friend telling me that his Filipino wife is intending to leave him after getting her USA work permit. She still haven't forgiven him for not announcing their marriage to his mum when they were newly married and when she stayed with him He didn't tell his mum as he didn't want his mum to get a shock out her life. His mum didn't like her and also didn't know her well enough to accept her as a daughter in-law. The both of them got married in Philippines after 1 year of knowing each other. This is his second marriage.
5) Helped bestie to pack her stuff from her ex-boyfriend/fiance's place until nearly 11pm. She was visibly upset and cried a few times while packing and clearing her things. The process of packing things and leaving reminded me of how I did the same years ago as I left my ex-husband's house. That pain of knowing it is all over, that horrible sick feeling, that anger of betrayal, that sense of last pride to maintain composure, that sadness of how things had ended and that seething hatred seeing the man whom you loved face to face,
6) Ended up I lost sleep yet again thinking about my own relationship, fearing history will repeat itself again and empathizing with my bestie yet again. She thought this relationship would last for her and she fought hard to compromise to his selfish requests, tolerating all his ego and prideful behaviour.

14th Feb:
1) Worked for the first half of the day.
2) Dated Desmond for the afternoon and evening to spend 'couple-time' in celebration of Valentine's Day. But my heart and mood was still a bit dampened by thoughts of my bestie and my close guy-friend's cases.
3) After Valentine's dinner, headed back to help bestie do the last packing and shifting of all her things out of the ex-boyfriend/fiance's house. This time, the guy cried and hugged her good-bye, wishing her all the best in her future. (Crap!)
4) My bestie has became my God-Sister. Now I have 3 God-Sisters and all 3 of them are my secondary school mates! I was born an only-child and now I have God-Sisters! Elated.

Up-Coming 15th Feb:
1) Reunion Dinner with Desmond's family
2) Need to baking CNY chocolate chip cookies

Up-Coming 16th Feb:
1) Select and Modify my wedding pictures at the Bridal Studio

PS: I haven't patch things with my dad as I am still mad at him. Now that my mum is mad at him too, good luck to him!

Valentine's Day Post

I have loved with few guys whom I shouldn't have fallen in love with.
I have few scars from failed relationships.
What doesn't break me, makes me stronger.

Love...

Love is a series of choices. The first choice is based on many many factors, including chemistry, principles, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want/need… the list goes on and on, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the individual. Based on these factors, we either choose to begin the process to love or not. If we decide to enter this process, the action of loving can bring “light switch” moments. The way he looks at you. How hard she makes you laugh. The notes he hides in your purse. The way she makes you feel when you don’t feel anything.

But like an airplane flight, there is turbulence. The fights. The disagreements. The little things that bother you. His socks. Her shopping. You start wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Once you are in doubt, you have to make another choice: to continue to fly with this person or jump out of the plane. This choice is based on a thousand other factors, again depending on the individual and where they are in their journey. If you decide to jump, the scary free fall will either make you stronger (grow) or miserable (depressed). But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself back at the airport waiting to board another plane. Then you hit turbulence. Or maybe there is no turbulence. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about the destination. Either way, another choice. Fly or jump?

Love is making a choice every single day, to either love or not love. That’s it. It’s that simple. Either to continue the process or not. We fall in and out of love. Even in relationships, especially in relationships. This doesn’t mean we don’t love the person. It means we are left with a choice. There is a difference between feeling love for someone (caring about a person) and loving someone (choosing to love that person). You may have love for someone forever. But that doesn’t mean you choose to love that person forever. The choice to love is not a feeling; it is an action. That is why it is so difficult. It requires you to do something, and I’m not just talking about buying flowers. It might mean putting your wants aside. Also, like chemistry, the ability to love is not a constant. It is a variable. It fluctuates, depending on where you’re at in your life and what you’re struggling with. Sometimes it is easy to love. Sometimes it is extremely difficult. But at the end of the day, it’s always a choice.

Although love varies, it also deepens. This means the longer you stay on that flight and embark on the journey together, the more fruit the process will bare. Your investment pays off. Your choices become easier. You not only become stronger as a couple, but also as individuals, assuming the love process is healthy – which means you guys are both doing work. The choice to love creates opportunity to hit notes in life that you could never hit alone, and THIS is what makes your choice worth it.

So, how do you know if it’s love? That is not the question to ask. The question is: Do you choose to love this person or not? Right now. Not tomorrow. Today. Make a choice. Yes or no. If the answer is yes, love as hard as you can. Love with everything you’ve got (your capacity right now at this point in your life). If the answer is no, promise me one thing.

Let the fall make you stronger.

10 Weeks To Go

I am constantly reminded by a close guy friend of 'the number of weeks before my ROM' as he would always start our whatsapp or phone conversation with the question, "How many weeks more to ROM?" Then I would take some time to mentally calculate the answer for him and he would start chuckling away. He knows that this bride here isn't excited or even doing any form of mental notes for her wedding.

This close guy, who is also a divorcee, was a guy I met online while holidaying in Melbourne after the start of separation from my ex-husband. When I got back to Singapore and after a few meetings over Starbucks, meals and after work drives, we bonded and got closer. He helped me maintain my strength to survive a divorce. He supported me when I felt drained to carry on. However, we never really dated. We never had that special feel for each other, just that close platonic friendship. He moved on to marry Joan and I went on to date Desmond but we both are very much in contact. He envies my love for Desmond and I envy Joan for having a romantic husband.

Through my divorce, I met few people are divorcees too and I slowly learned to let go of the stigma that my parents has put on divorcees. My mum's sis is a divorcee. My dad's sister is a divorcee too. But the family kinda shamed them to the extend that they dared not to remarry. I remember my parents constantly gossiping behind their backs about my aunts' divorcee status and how they feel that it is disgraceful to get a divorce. Never had they imagined that one day their own daughter would also walk the same path. So when it was their daughter's fate to be divorcee, they put the same pressure and stigma on me, trying their best to advice me from re-marrying. However, I know myself better than to listen to their nonsense of how it is a taboo to re-marry and wear a wedding gown again. Even to this day, my parents are not too happy of my decision to re-marry and to be with my fiancé. They feel that he isn't worthy of me. My dad and I are having a cold war now as I can see that he is trying all means to stop the marriage but yet need to preserve his ego as a parent, even my fiancé is ignoring his need to chat over a dinner as we both know that my dad wants to divulge my 'divorcee' status to his parents, in bid to spoil my marriage plans.

My view of marriage has changed after a failed marriage. To me, a marriage is between two individuals, no need for anyone else to get involved, not even parents. It is good for parental support but that is a privilege not a must. Staying married is an individual choice, not a choice due to what others may say or gossip. Personal happiness is much more important than making people around you happy. Personal happiness in a marriage goes way beyond ego, 'face' or reputation.

In 10 weeks time, I would be entering into another brand new marriage with an open mind. Not that I am hoping for another divorce (touchwood!)but I don't want to harbour any high hopes or say 'never' anymore. Whenever I say the word 'never', it would prove to be 'ever'...

I know that I would be definitely happier in this marriage compared to the previous one. It is going to be a challenge financially for both of us but I know we would be happy. This time I am not marrying for pride, ego, 'face' or fear of gossip. This time I am marrying at my own pace and I feel ready to re-enter into a marriage again.

10 more weeks to go... Anything can happen within this 10 weeks. So let's just sit back and watch the show unfold if there is anymore drama to be aired.

You Complete Me... I Love You

Never marry someone whom you could not live without, instead, marry someone who could not live without you.
Never marry for wealth or status, marry for love and pure devotion.
Never marry just out of convenience or just because everyone expects you to, marry because you know that you will be blessed with him/her in your life.
Marry someone who is happy to have you in his/her life.
Marry someone who feels that you complete his/her world.
Marry someone who loves you more than you love him/her.
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Hope I have made the right choice this time round...