About Me

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Just the blunt and honest me. Just someone who needs to air her inner most feelings and thoughts. Just a female who suffers from a crazy life journey, with lots of ups and down in her life. Just another moronic human being who wishes for peace and serenity in life one day.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Guilty Conscience

Hello there! Not sure if you are still following my blog, but it has been nearly 10 months we both walked out of each others' life.
Today, I went back to your area to cast my votes for the 'By-Election' and thankfully, I didn't get to meet your family members nor you. Wouldn't know how to react if I meet anyone of them or you. Anyway, I guess it would be last time stepping into that area for elections.
All the best! May the best man win the elections tonight for that district after Micheal Palmer resigned.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Prik Thai - Ruk Sam Sao [Audio]




Artist: Prik Thai
Title: Ruk Sam Sao
English Title: Love Triangle
Album: After Six
Year: 2008

Ever since that day, the day that you left me
I had accept the truth, even though it wasn't easy
Ever since that day, I ran into him
He continuously wiped away my tears
Waiting to take care of me, never being distant
Don't cry, he said to me don't cry
I'll always have him by my side
And then the two of us dated
And things were going well
Why did you come back...at this moment?
One person is undeniably good to me
How could I just drop him?
The other one left me once before
But my love has never faded for him
I'm not a princess from anywhere
I'll have to choose one side
This love triangle must end
From this day forth, I must be strong
Between the one who loves me
Or the love before him
Don't cry, he said to me don't cry
I'll always have him by my side
And then the two of us dated
And things were going well
Why did you come back...at this moment?
One person is undeniably good to me
How could i just drop him?
The other left me once before
But my love has never faded for him
I'm not a princess from anywhere
I'll have to choose one side
This love triangle must end

PS: Randomly found from YouTube, which brings back memories... The only difference is that I managed to get the english translation to the lyrics, which makes it more meaningful and it helps me to decipher and break down what you were trying to tell me when you asked me to listen to this song and 'Tur Yang' by Potato (as shown in my previous post) 2 years ago.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

3-0 in 5mths...

While waiting for the bus today, this thought dawned upon me: Hitting that 3-0 in 5 months and what have I achieved?

Firstly, I proudly declare that I have gotten my Diploma, Advanced Diploma and Degree in Nursing! Although I know most of my peers have already achieved a Masters or PhD, but I am contented to have achieved up to a degree standard. I had never imagined myself to study up to a degree as I knew from young that I wasn't 'studying material', I never did we'll in school and my grades were always borderline pass. Now, I that have achieved my degree, I feel that it is suffice for me at this current stage of my life.

Secondly, I am proud to have met and achieved my childhood ambition to be a nurse. That was the only goal that I used to motivate myself to studying those boring subjects such as Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics, History, Geography and Social Studies since Primary to Secondary school. I remembered how badly I cried when I received my 'O' level results thinking I wasn't able to enter Nursing as I had failed my science subject but when a friend told me I could still get into Nursing with my F&N grade, I immediately stopped crying. That was how desperate I was to enter in Nursing school. :)

Thirdly, I am glad that for the past nearly 30 years of my life, I am strong enough to face any form of defeat in my face and get up on my two feet to fight all those depressive events. Some of these events scarred me and some of these events just made me stronger as a person. Some of these events opened my eyes to the cruelty of this world and some of these events made me realise that trusting the wrong person would lead to your downfall. Some of these events made me a little more skeptical about humans and some of these events affected the way I treat mankind. However, despite all these downfalls, I am still me: narcissistic and yet able to forgive those who has hurt me in the past.

Fourthly, (something that I am proud nor glad to say but I still must add them to my list of 'achievements') I have been through numerous of BGR, most short lasting and some lasting slightly longer than I expected. I have been loved and I have loved. I have experienced what it felt like to walk down the aisle and I have experienced what it is like to end a marriage after trying my best to mend whatever broken pieces that he destroyed and eventually drove me to my ends wits. The only pity to these all, I don't even know the truth to reason of divorce just the same story to my first relationship, broke off without a proper explanation on why he chose to run away from the relationship although he claimed that e still loved me.

My last achievement was to maintain my sanity through all these shit and crap that life throws at me. Thank God for His strength. Thank God for His grace to helping me keep my sanity intact. Thank God for allowing those close friends and family members to be there for me when I needed them for support and understanding. Thank God for protecting my life by ensuring that I had sufficient time to heal before allowing another blow to hit me. Thank God for understanding that although I don't go to church or attend any masses or whatever Christian activities, He still knows that do worship Him and believe in Him.

After 3-0, I just hope to achieve a peaceful life. Perhaps deliver a child and know what it is like to experience pregnancy and labor before the 3-5. Perhaps enjoy the ups and downs of motherhood. Perhaps continue to keep my sanity until one day when dementia hits me. Perhaps understand my needs better than wants in life and prioritise my life accordingly.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

One Step Closer

One module down, one more module to go!
One step closer to achieving my degree after my final results are released in February.
One step closer to meeting my goal of graduating in 2013.
How time flies? One year ago, I was struggling, wondering if I would make it through my degree course. Now, here I am praying for a final pass in my last module. I did think that I was doomed to fail in May last year due to some personal matters that almost 'killed' me but I passed that stage and moved on to now my final leap...
Keeping my fingers crossed for the final pass in that module. No need for retaking or re-submitting of assignments. I am over that phrase of doing assignments already.
Once I am done with my degree, I wanna take a breather and perhaps permanent pause for studying...
Haiz!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

1st Post of 2013

I'm back from my short holiday trip. Brand new year has come and that means a brand new start at life to make things right this time.
As I watched the celebratory fireworks display during my trip, it dawned upon me that life could be more beautiful if I have just let matters go earlier, rather than holding on to something that was never meant to be mine. It was folly on my part to believe that things would work out fine if I had persevered on. All the wrong concepts that had prevented me from leaving earlier. But at least I knew that I tried my best to work things out and it wasn't entirely my fault that things just couldn't work out the way it should have.

Back to work later today...

Wishing myself that 2013 will bring forth more joy and bliss as compared to 2013 and may 2013 spare me from any further agony or traumatic events.

PS: I maybe expecting some good news in 2013 =)