Ownership At Last

Blk 271D #08-549 will finally be ours! Would be going down tomorrow to pay the downpayment of SGD 20K and wait patiently until 2013 for the house keys...

Recently, feeling very helpless and regretful for entering my Advanced Diploma. Overwhelming and stressful. Not sure if I have up to passing my modules. Feel very low self-confidence in my assignments, tests and practical skills. It seems everyone in my class is also feeling the same way, even though physically everyone looks fine on the outside, but through their rants on facebook, they are stressed and overwhelmed too. Wonder if this is a normal process of the Advanced Diploma? I didn't have such strong regret while studying my Diploma years back...

Next thing that has been on my mind is my husband's relationship with my parents. He is getting more introvert these weeks due to work and study stress. In fact, he hasn't visited my parents with me for nearly 2mths now. He also verbalized he doesn't see the need to see my parents with me... I understand that in the very first place, he doesn't really like my parents and isn't comfortable with my parents but I also don't know how to persuade and make him see that it is just right for him to at least accompany me to visit my parents with me at least once a month.
I am unsure if my parents can understand that their son in law actually doesn't feel comfortable with them. I mean when with my husband around, they tend to act like this domineering figure and that makes him uncomfortable. The way my parents talk to him is like a over-bearing figure telling him or 'questioning' him and that makes him very uncomfortable as well as he dislikes the way they 'treat' him like a child.
I doubt my parents would change their way of mannerism with him as they feel it is only right as well as natural for them to behave that way they do with him.

Haiz... if both my parents and him can make do with not meeting often and my parents can accept that their son in law doesn't feel comfortable around them, life would be so much better and I need not always find excuse for him not to attend family functions or coming over to visit them with me...

Why Haven't I Let You Go???

Put away the pictures, put away the memories
I put over and over through my tears
I've held them 'til I'm blind, they kept my hope alive
As if somehow that i'd keep you here
Once you believe in a love forevermore
How do you leave it in a drawer

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go

Try to say it's over, say the word good bye
But each time it catches in my throat
You're still here in me and I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friends forever-more
Wish I could open up that door

Watching us fade, what can I do
But try to make it through the pain
Of one more day without you

Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess I'm learning, only learning
Learning the art of letting go




PS: After so long, I thought I have let you go. But guess I haven't... Sigh...

A Moltivation To Exercise

20mins brisk walk to and another 20mins brisk walk back

Unappreciated...

- 2 nights in a row, I had to stay up past midnight waiting for him to come back just to heat up his dinner 'cause I understand he has a hard day at work and missed his dinner. Last night, added abalone slices to his dinner dish and got chided for adding it. He even told me he actually doesn't really like abalone taste. WTF!

- Messaged and called him few times only to be ignored and no replies. WTF! I just want to spend some quality time with him!

- Turned up for group meeting today, only to be told 1hr later that the group meeting was cancelled as someone couldn't finish her assignment that was due today. WTF!

- Passed a classmate some information she wanted to search for, only to be told by her that she already found the information from someone else and thus, mine was not needed. WTF!

I am really getting real pissed at myself being too nice and helpful. I am totally sick and tired of being the 'nice' wife who serves her husband like lord only to be told off and ignored. I feel like a total fool! What good deed will reap good results or good things?! Crap!

He is not the only one tired and stressed! Although I don't have work to do but I have ASSIGNMENTS and TUTORIALS to do. Yes, I do take naps sometimes, but that doesn't mean I am not tired and obligated to stay up late to wait for him to heat up food for him! Yes, I may not look stressed but I am! I am afraid that I am not up to my lecturers' standard, I am afraid of failing my module, I am afraid of repeating the module, I am afraid of affecting my 2 years bond!

Argh... why do I strive so hard only in vain? Why do other wife and students cope so much better than me? Why do other husbands appreciate their wives while mine takes me for granted?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st Day Of 2010

First day of 2010 is spending listening to PRC throwing her nonsense behaviour as expected. After moving out a month ago, now she has called my mum-in law to discussing some issues. As I didnt manage to eavedrop on the conversation, I would believe it is to with my brother in law promising her a house one year post marriage. Now she doesn't get her house, she wants something else. I am not sure what is her 'plan' now and what she called my mum in law for. But I guess is probably divorce and perhaps money...

Sigh... first day of new year and trouble starts. What a way to start 2010?!

Yes, I may dislike this PRC woman but I am ain't gloating over my brother in law's fate. I just feel sorry and pity him now. First marriage had failed... Now married this PRC thinking this marriage will work out well only to find out a year later, her 'pattern' and 'wolf's tail' is out... Poor guy!!!

Haiz... hopefully this matter is just like a husband and wife normal quarrel and they would make-up soon. Family happiness and peace is what I wish, no more family politics or nonsense...