A Visit To My Granny's

Went to visit my grandmother after my half day attachment at NUH and the first thing she asked me directly, 'why no baby?'. I explained that I was studying now and Jeff + Me don't have plans to have kids so soon as we want to wait for our house to be ready and we also want to settle into the new place stable enough before having kids.

Next came my 2nd auntie (the most ba-gua one) and asked me if I had any good news of pregnancy? I had to re-explain myself again...

Just last Friday, my mother in law asked me to get pregnant after my studies and I also explained her son's and mine stand of getting a house first and blah blah blah...

Few weeks ago, my cousin asked me the thoughts of reproducing a kid just because I say her 2 daughters look alike despite being at different age. So here I go again with my explaining again...

I hate explaining! I feel like so inferior explaining myself, 'cause the truth is that Jeff doesn't want to give me a chance to reproduce a kid for him! The truth is that I don't really like kids! The truth is that I don't feel I would be a good mother, neither would Jeff be a good father. The truth is I have no patience to teach as well as nurture a kid without 'abusing' the kid verbally or physically with hitting him/her.
I have been strictly disciplined by my parents using cane, belt and even clothes hanger and I know the pain of being whacked. I told myself I would never let my own child go through the same pain I did as a child to teenager. However, I also know my own temper and I know when I lose my temper, I would act recklessly and may end up hitting or whacking the kid. So I decided not to have a kid to prevent such cases. Moreover, I hate it when kids cry + brawl or when baby wails, so to save myself from such irritation, no kids would be the best.

I know babies and kids can be cute and brighten up one's day but once they start crying, brawling, wailing and become pesky, that totally turns me off...

Must every marriage end up with kids? Does it mean that a childless marriage would equate a failed marriage or an incomplete family? This is like the 21st Century era! Does anyone know how expensive rearing a kid can be in these modern days? Does anyone think how stressful it can be for a child to excel among his/her peers nowadays? Can someone change that mindset of compulsory for kid post-marriage couples?

I am not sure how many times I got to explain myself until relatives, parents and parents in law stop asking me about having a kid, getting pregnant and stuff! I also don't wish bursting with anger,sounding rude and embarrassing myself...

All these explanation is making me want to be more anti social and avoid any form of family gatherings to avoid this 'sensitive' topic... So if one day I become labelled 'anti-social', don't be surprised...