Pre-marital Reflections...

Woke up this morning reflecting on my past 12yrs of love life...
- From young, I always wanted a romantic and caring guy with a great personality. Someone who loves me to bits. Someone who would cherish and treasure me. Someone who would give me constant assurance of his genuine love, care and concern for me with words, gestures and via poetry.
- Met my first love at the age of 14. A guy who enjoyed Literature and English language as much as I do. A guy who had a gentle side, quite romantic but had a weird personality. He never told me how he really felt about me, the relationship and always had me guessing his thoughts. Anyway, I thought that he was going to be the one for me. But I was wrong. The relationship only lasted 1.5months and had me upset for many years.
- Along the way, met many guys, toyed their feelings just to spite my first love, letting him see that I was happy as well as 'surviving' well without him. Wanted him to feel that he was the one at the losing end for breaking up with me.
- At the age of 17, met my present husband. The relationship started with me making use of him and his nursing knowledge to help me with my nursing studies, only to fall in love with him in the end. He ain't a romantic guy, ain't someone who would constantly reassure his love, ain't someone who would show his care and concern openly, a guy who is practical by nature and a guy who would rather show his love in subtle ways, indirect ways, ways that you don't notice.
- Legally married when I was barely 23 after knowing my husband for 6yrs. 9months after the legal marriage, my love life was put on a roller coaster ride for the next 3yrs. I was constantly emotionally unstable and was uncertain of my marriage, yet I was determined to work it out. This had drained me mentally and emotionally... I felt it was to atone for my past sins as well as retribution for toying with the past guys' feelings.
- After gritting my teeth and much sacrifices as well as compromises, my certain character and personality has changed. The way I view things has also changed.
- This Sunday as I walk down the aisle, I pray for a happy married life thereafter. A blissful married life, with resolving arguments and stability in our marriage. I pray for our constant faithfulness to one and another for life.

So who says, you will always fall in love and marry your dream guy? I didn't. Yet I am contented.