About Me

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Just the blunt and honest me. Just someone who needs to air her inner most feelings and thoughts. Just a female who suffers from a crazy life journey, with lots of ups and down in her life. Just another moronic human being who wishes for peace and serenity in life one day.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Just Some Lyrics

You want the end to be easier than the start
I was a hopeful heart that you shattered apart
You want to say goodbye and disappear
Don't want to watch when I break down into tears
I won't try to make you stay
I won't even try to change your mind
Take a good look at the pain in my face before you walk away
Memorize all the hurt in my eyes and what I say
I'm gonna give you what you wanted but my heart will never stop
Tell you that I'm fine even though I'm not
You're gonna know for the rest of your life this is true
I'm never getting over you
I won't pretend that I won't find someone else
You'll be a closed book sitting there on the shelf
I'll never have to open it again
To know the pages of the words of what could have been

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Start of Lady of Leisure

This past week, I have started my life as Lady of Leisure aka Tai-Tai aka Homemaker. It was a good time to take a break from it all, especially with all the politics as well as favouritism at work: too messy for my liking.

Listening to songs and stumbled on this song with cool lyrics;
"Take a good look at the pain in my face 'fore you walk away
Memorize all the hurt in my eyes, not what I say
I'm gonna give you what you wanted
Though my heart will never stop
Tell you that I'm fine even though I'm not
You're gonna know for the rest of your life this is true
I'm never gettin' over you
We'll move on and you'll find somebody new
With everything I could never be for you,"

Yes, maybe I will never really get over the hurt that I experienced from my failed previous marriage. Maybe I will never really get over all the pain that I once experienced with the shattered dream of happily ever after with my ex-husband. However, there is/are always reason/s why he is my ex-husband and I am still glad we left the marriage. 
Definitely in a happier place now, married to a good man (even people and mutual friends who knows us, says so). Love is not what he says, it is more of what he do, his actions speaks volume of his love and appreciation for me. I need not thread on thin ice in fear of any arguments or quarrel that may break us apart. I do not need his approval to do the things I enjoy. Even as I decide to take a break and live off him for awhile was met with his full support. No, don't mistaken me, he ain't rich or earning big bucks, yet he is willing to work harder just to make sure I am able to take my mind off working life for awhile, before embarking on a new place of work. Of course, I am not exactly living off him, I using my savings to chill out and relax. 😊
Till then, peace out and back to enjoying my serenity... 

Friday, December 31, 2021

End of 2021, Welcome 2022

As 2021 comes to an end and we start to welcome 2022, here are the things I am grateful for...
1) Husband - his love shown through daily actions, big or small. His initiative to put my needs above his, at times sacrificing his business to ensure my requests are met. His easy-going nature to give in to my frustrations, especially when my flares occurs to get me down or when work-related stress manifest into our after office hours life. Plus, his acts of support, unsaid means of reassuring me that no matter what decision I make, what I do (of course in the right and reasonable path of life) he is there behind me to comfort me should anything goes haywire. 
2) My 师傅s - through their blessings, prayers, amulets and lucky charms, I made it through another year quite smoothly. Of course hiccups were bound to have occurred, but I believe without their wisdoms and blessings, things could have been worse. Appreciate their willingness to attend to the requests of all devotees and those who have faith, trust and belief in them. Nothing is too big or too small for them to handle.
3) My immediate work supervisors/managers - their decision to promote me and never did discredit my ability to get work despite my invisible illness. They granted my leave for medical follow-ups and respected my MCs when I was truly down.
4) My buddy - although we didn't managed to meet up properly for the past 2 years due to the covid situation as well as our own commitments, her friendship and promptness to reply to messages or missed calls were unwavering. Her surprise gifts throughout the year, despite her busy schedules and 'checks' that I am still 'very much alive', in her words, makes me feel very blessed to have her as my buddy & close friend.
5) Other close friends - those who stood by me through the year, listening to my rants and offering me sound advices to make decision or to just basically allow me to get things off my chest for the sake of letting go of my irritations or 无奈.
6) 小人s- yes, I thank you for making me stronger, for making me see you in a new light and for your luck. For every one time that you have decided to backstab or gossip about me, the same one time your luck is taken away and accumulated to my merits for my benefits. I am sure I have benefited one way or another through your lost of luck.

I have no new resolutions for 2022, only wishes for it be smooth, mostly filled with joys and blessings, as well as better luck in all aspects of my life. I also wish the same for all my blog readers and those whose lives matters to me.

好的来,坏的去,有求必应,sadhu sadhu sadhu! 

Friday, November 5, 2021

Guess I am That Easily Forgetable

Maybe our memories meant nothing. 
Maybe whatever we went through nothing. 
Maybe there wasn't never 'we', 'us', 'our' in your mind. 
Maybe it was just Me, Myself and My Naive World. 

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

ทางผ่าน

I am just a fool for you
You always know that I loved you and I was down for whatever you wanted.
It's fine, though, you overlooked the things I did.
If your heart has changed, I will not hold you back.
I have accepted to let you go, or I am just a passerby for you.
I cry because my heart can't deal with the so much hurt you have given to me. 
One thing that I realized after so many years is that I've become a person you don't love. 

Saturday, July 3, 2021

漸冷

你多冷漠的语言 没语言
想逼我说出再也不见
没关系 大可不必找理由 直接走
别担心 我会纠缠 求你别回头
不再想要有以后
现在的我们都想要出口
我能不能少爱你一点
像以前 以前一切的以前
有底线 会发泄 不像现在藏几面
如果你从来都没改变
不过是回到一个人的夜里
不过再没你唱睡前的歌曲
不再等 你渐冷的气温回升
你就不用再爱我一遍
像以前 以前你多么热烈
没谎言 不失联 只拥我一人入眠
梦里面 你出现的画面越来越远
我会做到少爱你一点
像以前 以前一切的以前
有底线 会发泄 不像现在藏几面
如果你从来都没改变

Why do all sad love songs point to you and how I felt when we finally parted... That bitter sweet yet having to be strong for myself and own sanity.