别堆砌怀念让剧情 变得狗血
深爱了多年又何必 毁了经典
都已成年不拖不欠
浪费时间是我情愿
像谢幕的演员 眼看着灯光熄灭
来不及 再轰轰烈烈
就保留 告别的尊严
我爱你不后悔 也尊重故事结尾
分手应该体面 谁都不要说抱歉
何来亏欠 我敢给就敢心碎
镜头前面是从前的我们 在喝彩
流着泪声嘶力竭
离开也很体面 才没辜负这些年
爱得热烈 认真付出的画面
别让执念 毁掉了昨天
我爱过你 俐落干脆
最熟悉的街主角却 换了人演
我哭到哽咽心再痛 就当破茧
来不及 再轰轰烈烈
就保留 告别的尊严
我爱你不后悔 也尊重故事结尾
分手应该体面 谁都不要说抱歉
何来亏欠 我敢给就敢心碎
镜头前面是从前的我们 在喝彩
流着泪声嘶力竭
离开也很体面 才没辜负这些年
爱得热烈 认真付出的画面
别让执念 毁掉了昨天
我爱过你 俐落干脆
再见 不负遇见
Whenever I hear any Jay Chou's song, especially those in early 2000—2012, it reminds me of you. Still feel the hurt, yes, but I have learnt to handle the grief better. Guess no matter how much I would like to forget your existence, I wouldn't be, 'cause you have imprinted so much scars and hurt towards me, wasting 12 years of my life on you.
As much as I know that you have moved from your previous address, changed your number and I even managed to find out your new address and mobile number, don't worry, I won't bug you. You lead your life. I lead mine too.
We both have moved on as evident by new address. I believe you are also happier after me as much as I am better off after you.
Good luck and all the best.
Not sure who is the one that is more 幸福 now.
Does it still matter after 6 years later?
Does it still ring a bell to you that it was your self-proclaimed creed 18 years back that I am supposed be the one who is 比你幸福?
Doubt so.
Your 永远爱你 words is meaningless to me.
Your 'forsaking all others' vow made was broken when you said that there wasn't anymore love between us.
Your 曾经爱你，永远爱你 promise means nothing now.
6 years has passed since we said goodbye for good.
6 years has passed since we gave up trying to make things work.
6 years has passed since I walked out on everything that I once worked hard for and believed in.
6 years has passed since I regained my own true self.
6 years has passed since we won back our freedom just a simple 'I don't love you anymore'
No more tears shed.
No more 心酸.
No more 不舍得.
No more deep seething hatred.
Just memories of who we used to be.
At 13 coming 14 years old, I fell in love with a guy from my class when I was in secondary school. We broke off one and a half months later. Harboured some feelings for him despite marrying my ex-husband knowing that we will probably never be together due to my own insecure and low esteem.
At 16 coming 17 years old, met my ex-husband during a polytechnic orientation meet and on IRC. We dated for 6 years before deciding to get married to secure the relationship, to conform to societal norms to prevent tongues from wagging. Stayed married for another 6 years but we were both unhappy in the marriage. Finally, we called it quits! During the marriage, there were few peoples who asked me about a rumour that was spread around, saying that my first love broke off with his then-girlfriend to look for me on the day I wedded my ex-husband and ask if would I have changed my mind to marry to my ex-husband if I had met my first love before saying my wedding vows? I couldn't answer that question.
A year or two ago, I bumped into my first love at a mall. He was with his partner, holding hands and shopping. He didn't notice me. Immediately, I had answer to the nagging question. The answer is, "No, I doubt I would also be happy if I had married or changed my mind about ex-husband. And, I no longer do harbour any feelings for my first love."
This coming April 13th would mark my divorce of 6 years with my ex-husband. April 28th, would mark I married my current husband for 3 years. Time has healed my wounds from my first love failure as well as the failed first marriage of my life.
All I can say is my love life was pretty screwed-up... I hope it wouldn't be anymore. Enough of heartbreaks, enough of trials and testing of my strength. Enough is enough.
說不上愛別說謊 就一點喜歡
說不上恨別糾纏 別裝作感嘆
就當作我太麻煩 不停讓自己受傷
我告訴我自己 感情就是這樣
怎麼一不小心太瘋狂
將一切都體諒 將一切都原諒
我嘗試找答案 而答案很簡單
簡單得很遺憾
因為成長 我們逼不得已要習慣
因為成長 我們忽爾間說散就散
First Post of 2018!
This shows how much I blog nowadays. Instead, most of my life is documentated on Instagram and Facebook with lots of pictures of my baby girl, selfies, random food that I cooked.
3 months into 2018 and I am, honestly, tired. Perhaps tired of all the drama around me, tired of listening to crappy excuses given to me by others for their silly mistakes or ideas, tired of pretending I am OK with my subordinates tardiness at work. With age, I have learnt to filter out things and be more 'ignorance' of dramas that doesn't involve me directly.
Fleets of memories of him did plague me. But I guess that is part of my life-story and it is him that made me who I am today, leading the current life I have. It will always be a reminder to me to never let myself be manipulated in a relationship and to stand firm to my own principles of life.
Recently one of my best friend has been made redundant and it is sad to know that such concerns happens at our age. When my parents were at my age, being retrenched was the last thing on their minds. Now, in this modern era, we are currently treading on this thin ice to ensure we stay relevant on our jobs and fight along side fast advancing technology.
In few months, I am turning 35. I believe, or rather, I hope it would be the middle of my life span. These 35 years of my life has been quite full of ups and down, more downs from the moment I reached my 20s. However, in a sense, I can't believe that I have survived 35 years of craziness in this world. There has been times that I was suicidal, probably even suffering from depression (just that I didn't get myself diagnosed), emotionally raw and upset with my life choices, resulting in many unwanted experiences. But I am glad that I moved on from those days to becoming who I am now.
Let's see what the next 35 years will bring, who knows maybe I won't survive another 35 years due to some illness and/or unfortunate circumstances. Only God knows how long more He will put me on this realm... *grins*
As another year comes to a close, I am thankfully grateful for another year of pretty much mundane and stable life. After going through much instability, mental stress, emotional roller coaster rides in my life, I rather have a mundane otherwise boring year. I don't hope for any highs, joys, blessings or even random drops of miracles. I am happy to just to pass one day peacefully at a time.
Occasionally, I am still reminded of my painful past, heartbreaks by a certain person and had dreams of what I would to say to him even if one day he apologizes. Guess I would bring these hurts to my grave. I probably would never be able to fully forgive him for everything he put me through and false hopes he gave. But yet, I am thankful that we parted, otherwise, I would never be able to have a simple and stable relationship/marriage with my husband. That is something he would never ever be able to give me due to his own insecurities as well as lack of maturity to understand the meaning of being in a marriage.
May 2018 bring about the same simplicity and another words, boring, life for me. Maybe just hope for a bit more salary and less job responsibilities. *LOL* Shall dream on with that though...
