A Decade Later

Rewinding back to 2012, when I was back at my parents' place near to tears, yet I had to put a strong front to explain to them why my ex-husband and I called off 12 years of relationship, including 6 years of marriage. I had to finally let go of whatever emotional abuse that I was put through while being someone who didn't know how value me and remain humane towards  my feelings. Basically, love was not present anymore, hence, everything else isn't no longer important. That moment of moving back to my parents' was the start of my recovery to find myself back, to regain my own self-confidence, to be strong for myself once again. It was the moment I swore off being a submissive woman and never to fall deeply in love again, including never to get married again.

In 2022, 10 years later, lots have changed:

1) I am a patient with autoimmune condition.

2) I am now a degree graduate, something that I was once told that I will never be one. 

3) I have hustled through work politics and survived, something that I was once told that I would never be able to deal with maturely.

4) I have met someone better and remarried. 

5) I am no longer a Christian. This God isn't for me.

6) I am a homeowner of my own roof over my head. 

Yes, do memories of my ex-husband still does pop up in mind but they no longer hurt me as much as before. At least, I can tell my story without holding back tears. He is my past, something that I can't change. He was a mistake that I made that I can't undo. Probably these are his mutual thoughts and he dittos what I feel about us. Do I care what he thinks or feel now about our past? Nope. Do I bother about his apology? Nope. Nothing he says or do will amend the past. Nothing will change what has happened.

At times, I believe that whatever has happened are all pre-destined. I am to marry a guy, who is an Aries and born in the year of a Goat, but that guy isn't my ex-husband but my current one. I started my road to divorce on the same date of my current husband's birthday. All just falls into coincidence or fate as one may say. Either way, I am happy now and I believe so is my ex-husband.

May his and mine path never ever cross again. Don't wish to remember the hurt he caused, neither do I want to ever see him ever!