Reflections of What Makes A Man Faithful to His Partner/Wife

This morning I was having a conversation with my husband on the way to work. I brought up the topic asking him (as a man) what is/are the factor/s that would make a man faithful to his wife, girlfriend or partner? I brought up the example of a mutual friend, he is rich and practically quite powerful in the sense of spiritual world. His mouth can get a bit flirtatious but his actions speaks of love for his wife. My husband said probably it is because this friend of yours wears the Buddhism amulets and would be constantly to be reminded to be faithful, or else karma may strike him. Then I brought up my ex-husband as a counter-argument. He too wears the 4-faced Buddhist figurine as an amulet, yet he didn't know how to treat me well and/or wasn't faithful to me. I also brought up my brother in-law, my husband's younger brother, who is also very successful in life and quite financially secured, he doesn't wear any form of amulet but he loves his wife so dearly and even stayed with her since JC years until now.

After this little 'debate', we concluded whether one is able to practise faithfulness to spouse, partner or girlfriend/boyfriend is based on a few factors:
1) character of one and how he/she is brought up
2) how much one loves the other partner, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend
3) how secure one feels being in the current relationship. This also means how much one trusts, feels stability as well as the foundation of the relationship is being built on.

At the same time, I told my husband that if he or me would have the chance to meet my ex-husband and if he askes how I am coping. My answer is I am very 幸福 now.
I may not have everything that I wanted in an ideal world. I may not be married to a handsome, tall, rich and be driven around in some sports/branded car. However, I am fortunate to have found a man who is willing to take care of me, dotes on me and loves me enough to ferry me to and from work, considerate enough to put me as his top priority, lastly, he is able to be filial to my parents too to visit them for meals every alternate weekend and ask about them should any issues arises. He is willing to go out of the way to ensure my needs are met. He is also mature enough to discuss and thrash out our differences without any violence, no petty tantrums or lashing out of vulgarities at me. That is more than what I experienced in my previous marriage. So if I feel thankful and grateful, it would be unfair to him.

I would end this post by saying, although I still hurt fm the previous marriage not working out the way I wished it would, but I am definetely happier and much more satisfied with my current marital status. Hence, the more likely I would stay faithful to my husband due to the fulfilment of the above named factors, including our transparency in the marriage. No secrets. No hidden agenda.

09092019: 7 Year Itch

How time flies... I have been in a relationship leading to marriage 7 years ago. So let's just say that the 7-year itch for us has begun, a superstition that had been believing due to the previous relationship I had with my ex-husband. Yes, he was my husband for nearly 1 year before cracks started showing. The stubborn and blinded side of me had endured another 5 years of roller coaster up-down emotional ride before finally calling it quits.

This time, the 7-year itch is with my current husband of 4 years. Plus, we are in a more mature stage of life and age, to handle things. We also seldom have an big argument fight, leading to cold war as we are able to handle conflicts better. Perhaps coupled with more EQ to less hot-tempered also benefited.

At times, I do reflect on my past relationship with my ex-husband, wondering many what-ifs, whys and how-comes to many unanswerable questions. Was it really just us? Is the superstitions true? Could we have avoided it? Either way, let's see my current relationship does survive the 7-year itch, 'cause I have some confidence that it would.