比我幸福

Not sure who is the one that is more 幸福 now.
Does it still matter after 6 years later?
Does it still ring a bell to you that it was your self-proclaimed creed 18 years back that I am supposed be the one who is 比你幸福?
Doubt so.

Your 永远爱你 words is meaningless to me.
Your 'forsaking all others' vow made was broken when you said that there wasn't anymore love between us.
Your 曾经爱你，永远爱你 promise means nothing now.

6 years has passed since we said goodbye for good.
6 years has passed since we gave up trying to make things work.
6 years has passed since I walked out on everything that I once worked hard for and believed in.
6 years has passed since I regained my own true self.
6 years has passed since we won back our freedom just a simple 'I don't love you anymore'

No more tears shed.
No more 心酸.
No more 不舍得.
No more deep seething hatred.
Just memories of who we used to be.

Time Heals Wound

At 13 coming 14 years old, I fell in love with a guy from my class when I was in secondary school. We broke off one and a half months later. Harboured some feelings for him despite marrying my ex-husband knowing that we will probably never be together due to my own insecure and low esteem.
At 16 coming 17 years old, met my ex-husband during a polytechnic orientation meet and on IRC. We dated for 6 years before deciding to get married to secure the relationship, to conform to societal norms to prevent tongues from wagging. Stayed married for another 6 years but we were both unhappy in the marriage. Finally, we called it quits! During the marriage, there were few peoples who asked me about a rumour that was spread around, saying that my first love broke off with his then-girlfriend to look for me on the day I wedded my ex-husband and ask if would I have changed my mind to marry to my ex-husband if I had met my first love before saying my wedding vows? I couldn't answer that question.
A year or two ago, I bumped into my first love at a mall. He was with his partner, holding hands and shopping. He didn't notice me. Immediately, I had answer to the nagging question. The answer is, "No, I doubt I would also be happy if I had married or changed my mind about ex-husband. And, I no longer do harbour any feelings for my first love."
This coming April 13th would mark my divorce of 6 years with my ex-husband. April 28th, would mark I married my current husband for 3 years. Time has healed my wounds from my first love failure as well as the failed first marriage of my life.
All I can say is my love life was pretty screwed-up... I hope it wouldn't be anymore. Enough of heartbreaks, enough of trials and testing of my strength. Enough is enough.

说散就散

說不上愛別說謊 就一點喜歡
說不上恨別糾纏 別裝作感嘆
就當作我太麻煩 不停讓自己受傷
我告訴我自己 感情就是這樣
怎麼一不小心太瘋狂

將一切都體諒 將一切都原諒
我嘗試找答案 而答案很簡單
簡單得很遺憾
因為成長 我們逼不得已要習慣
因為成長 我們忽爾間說散就散