Once in a while, God puts me in a situation to test my integrity and moral values. Today, He gave me a dilemma to choose between friendship VS doing what is right for a patient. I am not sure if I should be thanking Him for showing me the true colours of certain people whom I once called close friends or be thankful that through such situations, I managed to stay true to myself and choose moral values and principles of being a nurse over friendship.
I have lost another two people whom were once called my close friends at work. They expected me to keep mum about an error being made, which caused a patient to not get her prescipted dose of Morphine regularly. I was expected by them to not bring up the error to higher management. Although the management decided not to pursue this matter any furthur and the matter has rest but I am now viewed as a backstabber and common enemy by my ward staff.
Sure, I don't gain anything from reporting this matter and have even lost two friends but at least, I can answer my own conscience and that is most important to me. I can't hide from my own conscience. I am answerable to myself and God that I had done the best to my own knowledge. Knowing myself that if I had failed to bring up this matter, I wouldn't be sleep well at night and would be constantly be nagged mentally by my conscience for not doing the right thing.
It is really disappointing to see the ugly side of these two people whom I once viewed them as full of integrity and morals. It is really sad to witness how they gossiped behind my back on Facebook thinking that I won't have access to that post. It is really hurting to know that they misunderstood me as a backstabber and my intentions as a fault- finder. But I guess I don't fully blame them, it is just human to want to cover their asses when mistakes arise and when guilt conscience eats them up.
May God bless me with more worthy friends in future and I pray for a better job offer to walk away from such flawed organisational culture. Amen.
