As I was reading through my blog of my rants and raves of the past year, I realized that I really do admire myself. I admire my own courage, my own strength and my endurance level.
2008 has been a one hell of a roller coaster ride for me. The numerous times I sank into depression while typing my entries and happiness was all short-lived. To think that I have been through so much, to come this far... The entries of sadness and how I turned to God to give me strength and His guidance to guide me through all the pain I was going through.
I also realized that I have made so much changes to maintain this marriage and so far I still see slight improvement. Of course, I am still living on and carrying on this marriage in hope of a miracle that would drastically change my married life for the better.
Well... as you read this entry, keep me in your prayers ok?
About Me
- Mint + Bitter Chocolate = Heaven
- Just the blunt and honest me. Just someone who needs to air her inner most feelings and thoughts. Just a female who suffers from a crazy life journey, with lots of ups and down in her life. Just another moronic human being who wishes for peace and serenity in life one day.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wedding Cards
I have mailed out 2 wedding cards to my bestie and cousin overseas few days ago. However, I am stuck and unsure when to mail out those to my other friends as well as colleagues whom I am inviting. When I told one of friend that I would be giving the cards out next week, her immediate reaction was "so fast? so soon eh? don't want to wait until next month? don't wanna wait until things are more stablized eh?". Then, I am online, one of my friend just asked me how come she hasn't recieve my card yet and when I told her it is still too early, her response was "huh? early meh? your wedding date is a hot date leh. better book your guests early otherwise they may get invited to another wedding."
So now I am wonder when should I be mailing and distributing my cards? When is it too early and when is it too late???
Hmmz...
So now I am wonder when should I be mailing and distributing my cards? When is it too early and when is it too late???
Hmmz...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Top 10 Relationship Tips
1. Act Out of Character.
Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type -- in a positive way -- you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time. -- Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia
2. Get in Touch a Lot.
No doubt you hug and kiss each other. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're walking down the street are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. -- Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples"
3. Take Turns Talking.
To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement -- and get your points across -- alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks. -- Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door"
4. Find the Intersection.
When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacation in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun... how about Miami? -- Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love"
5. Be More Positive Than Negative.
There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time." -- Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD
6. Echo Each Other.
When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood. -- Yvonne Thomas
7. Take a Time-Out.
Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. -- Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection
8. Have His Back.
You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. -- New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD
9. Spend a Little Money on Each Other.
You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun -- and meaningful -- when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get -- and think about -- each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -- Barton Goldsmith
10. Be a Good Date. Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook -- if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box -- dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. -- Jennifer Oikle
*sounds very easy...but trust me it ain't that simple...*
Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type -- in a positive way -- you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time. -- Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia
2. Get in Touch a Lot.
No doubt you hug and kiss each other. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're walking down the street are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. -- Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples"
3. Take Turns Talking.
To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement -- and get your points across -- alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks. -- Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door"
4. Find the Intersection.
When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacation in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun... how about Miami? -- Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love"
5. Be More Positive Than Negative.
There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time." -- Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD
6. Echo Each Other.
When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood. -- Yvonne Thomas
7. Take a Time-Out.
Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. -- Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection
8. Have His Back.
You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. -- New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD
9. Spend a Little Money on Each Other.
You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun -- and meaningful -- when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get -- and think about -- each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -- Barton Goldsmith
10. Be a Good Date. Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook -- if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box -- dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. -- Jennifer Oikle
*sounds very easy...but trust me it ain't that simple...*
Friday, March 13, 2009
Pondering...
Stuff to ponder and settle before 10 May 2009:
- find at least 2 ushers cum receptionist for my wedding dinner
- decide what kind of lunch my guest at my place will have after the tea ceremony... Pizza or Buffet... I like the idea of Pizza though.
- send out wedding cards soon
- where to get wedding cake vouchers for relatives
- the four gold items (are they really necessary, I dun like yellow gold anyway.)
- after the customary wedding, can I continue staying with my parents or should I be going back to my in laws' as my MIL is asking me back and I can see her effort made to 'invite' me back.
- what will my wedding day be like and will I be able to enjoy and relish in every moment of that day?
- will I even make it to my wedding day as a happy bride, walking down the aisle with all the well-wishes from my dear friends, relatives and close colleagues?
*think I am suffering from pre-wedding jitters already*
- find at least 2 ushers cum receptionist for my wedding dinner
- decide what kind of lunch my guest at my place will have after the tea ceremony... Pizza or Buffet... I like the idea of Pizza though.
- send out wedding cards soon
- where to get wedding cake vouchers for relatives
- the four gold items (are they really necessary, I dun like yellow gold anyway.)
- after the customary wedding, can I continue staying with my parents or should I be going back to my in laws' as my MIL is asking me back and I can see her effort made to 'invite' me back.
- what will my wedding day be like and will I be able to enjoy and relish in every moment of that day?
- will I even make it to my wedding day as a happy bride, walking down the aisle with all the well-wishes from my dear friends, relatives and close colleagues?
*think I am suffering from pre-wedding jitters already*
Friday, March 6, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)